No really, you can't make this shit up.

I called the unemployment office today to why my check was so late. After an amazingly circular voicemail system where I needed to set up a pin, include my social security number, and kill the child of the Third Born Demon DELORAX, I found that my check was mailed on September 9th. Glancing down at my screen, it says today's date is September 19th. Not a good sign. Pressing 0, I waited for a cheerful helper. I was greeted with a fast talking mumbler.

Welcome to the unemployment office how can I help you.

I have a problem with my latest check; I've never received it.

socialsecurity number, address, name, phone number, and the soul of the demonspawn's child.

Here ya go.

okay, it says here yourcheck was sent on september 9th.

Yes, I checked that in the automated voice system, and I know if it hasn't come in 10 days, I should call.

you should call aftertoday. if it doesn't come todaythen you shouldcall.

Well, are they mailed from California? I mean, a letter only takes so long to trave--

Of coursethey're mailed from california! This is the california unemployment office, we don't outsource to anywhere--

I understand that, but 10 days is a long itme for a letter to be circling in the --

We don't outsource anywhere so if the check doesn't come today youshould call.

- Insert another minute or two of this circular argument.-

Eventually, I gave up; she wasn't budging, and I couldn't wrap my mind around her not even thinking that 10 days just in California could be a long time. But really, you can't make this shit up.