Thursday, January 31, 2008

Another Round

2008 TECHNICAL STAFF - Madison, NJ Job posted on January 17, 2008 THE SHAKESPEARE THEATRE OF NEW JERSEY is gearing up for our 46th annual season! Applicants are sought for all production staff positions in scenic, costumes, props, paint, lighting, and sound. Interested individuals should submit a resume with references and cover letter to Mr. Kelly Easterling, Director of Production. Email: Fax: 973-236-2995. EOE

Job posted on January 16, 2008
Steppenwolf seeks applications for fulltime House Electrician. Includes competitive salary & benefits package; reports to Lighting Supervisor. The position shares responsibility for executing light plots, programming consoles, maintaining equipment, running shows, hiring & overseeing crews. Minimum 3 years experience with thorough knowledge of ETC, industry equipment, standards, and practices required. Competitive compensation plus benefits including medical, paid leave and matching 401(k). STC is equal opportunity employer; all qualified candidates are encouraged to apply. Send cover letter, resume, and 3 references to: J.R. Lederle, Lighting Supervisor, STEPPENWOLF THEATRE, 758 W. North Avenue, Chicago, IL 60610. Email: No phone calls.

Job posted on December 17, 2007
BLUE MAN GROUP LAS VEGAS is seeking an Assistant Stage Manager. This position is charged with show running, administrative responsibilities including but not limited to the weekly production schedule, the maintenance of general production standards and reports to the PSM. Responsibilities include: ensure that Blue Man Group values and artistic vision are understood and supported across the organization, scheduling and administrative support to the Stage Management and Production Department, acting as Deck Stage Manager as needed, acting as on-call operator, covering rehearsals and other duties as assigned. Ideal candidates will have Stage Management experience within a theater production department. Flexibility and focus are required in our fast-paced environment. Candidates must possess strong interpersonal, organizational and communication skills. This is a full-time, hourly position with benefits; typically scheduled as a five day work week with varying days and hours, including nights, weekends and holidays. Please email resume to

Job posted on November 30, 2007
MAGIC THEATRE, San Francisco, California. The Magic Theatre has initiated the search for a new Artistic Director. The Search Committee seeks to identify candidates to build upon the theatre's substantial history of artistic achievement while strengthening its ability to produce new work of the highest quality. It is the Search Committee's intention to identify the successful candidate by March 2008. The Magic produces a six-play season on an operating budget that approaches $2 Million. The Magic Theatre operates two venues, a thrust and a proscenium each with 160 seats. Compensation will be commensurate with the leadership role that this position represents for the theatre and the community. The consulting firm retained to assist in the search will welcome qualified applications. Send letters of interest and resumes to: Stephen J. Albert AlbertHall&Associates, LLC, 942 Main Street #300, Hartford, CT 06103. Fax: 860-808-3009. Email preferred: Magic Theatre is an EOE and encourages women and persons of color to apply.

Job posted on November 1, 2007
CHAUTAUQUA THEATER COMPANY invites applications for its 2008 summer season for the following: Assistant Stage Managers and Production Assistants. EMC points available. Contracts run 9 - 11 weeks starting late May/early June, housing provided. CTC, now in its 25th season, is the resident professional theater and Conservatory of Chautauqua Institution. Artistic Directors Vivienne Benesch and Ethan McSweeny, lead internationally known guest artists, directors, designers, writers, and faculty join our talented Conservatory; producing three full productions and two new play workshops in award-winning Bratton Theater. For more information visit Early applications encouraged. Send cover letter/resume to

Job posted on September 28, 2007
UNIVERSITY OF HAWAI'I-MANOA, Department of Theatre and Dance, seeks qualified students for MFA in Scenic, Lighting and Costume Design. Active, multi-cultural, theatre-training program provides exposure to and opportunities to design for, Western Theatre, Asian Theatre, Youth Theatre, and Dance. Assistantships available to qualified students enrolled in program, pending availability of funds. Small, personalized, liberal-arts based program emphasizes a hands-on environment, maximum design and teaching opportunities, and individualized mentoring with design faculty active in their field. Outside work with area theatres also available on a selective basis. For graduate program and assistantship information, contact Dr. Kirstin Pauka: For application packet, call 808-956-7677 or visit Application deadline: February 1, 2008 for Fall 2008 admission

From My Bro

There's nothing like beeing greeted with a kind face and a good heart first thing in the morning. Or at the very least a pleasant face seeming to read, Yes, I don't want to be here either, but it's good to see you.

Today, in the parking lot, I was greeted with, "Didn't make FedEx last night."


His face was full of anger, red, worry lines streaking across what is usually a face of jovialness, if not intelligence, with just a touch of pity, This poor admin, it seemed to say, he really doesn't know how bad he should be feeling because of my mistake.

"Did you know that after 5:30, they can't ship to Florida."

It was a question, but wasn't stated as one.

"No, actually, I didn't. But that's why we have a pickup at 4:30."

"You're supposed to get me the heads up, bro, we really need that."

I am so glad that he lightened the situation, bro. He called me bro. That makes me feel relief, but also immediate connection with him; he is my brother, after all.

"Well, when you said you were driving it up there, I didn't argue, I thought it's something you did often. And I did remind you when they came last night, at 4:45."

"It wasn't ready, so at 10 after 6, they wouldn't let me ship it."

"Well, I'm sorry about that."

"You just need to give me the heads up, bro."

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Guess who didn't actually use the last list of jobs/other he posted here?

Job posted on January 28, 2008
THE ACTORS CENTER. Spend two weeks working with four internationally recognized master teachers. This year’s faculty will included Ron Van Lieu, Chair of the Acting Program, Yale School of Drama; Christopher Bayes, Yale School of Drama; Slava Dolgachev, Artistic Director, New Theatre of Moscow; and J. Michael Miller, Founder, The Actors Center. The workshop is limited to 14 participants. Classes will be held daily from 10:00 am-10:00 pm The dates for this year's workshop: June 2-13, 2008. The workshop will be followed by the National Congress of Acting Teachers on June 14 & 15. Workshop participants will be invited to take part in those deliberations. The fee for the workshop is $3,000. Early application is encouraged. For application information, visit, or contact J. Michael Miller at: 212-447-6309. Email inquiries can be sent to:

Job posted on November 16, 2007
STEPPENWOLF THEATRE COMPANY, an ensemble-based company in its 32nd season, is currently accepting applications for Summer Interns and Apprentices for programs beginning in the summer of 2008. Positions are available in administrative and production areas. Participants receive the chance to work alongside the finest professionals working in theater today, and opportunities to attend professional development seminars, tickets to productions throughout Chicago, and more! For detailed job descriptions, further information and the application, please visit:

Job posted on January 11, 2008
The ASPEN MUSIC FESTIVAL & SCHOOL has many professional learning opportunities available for motivated and qualified individuals this summer. A summer internship or professional position at the Aspen Music Festival & School can open doors for your career, providing hands-on training in the arts. The professional rewards are tremendous, and the networking opportunities alone make our nine-week employment season worth considering. The Aspen Music Festival and School is currently seeking qualified candidates for summer positions in festival operations, opera and orchestra production, marketing, development, and ticket sales. To apply, interested applicants MUST submit materials to the following site: Please no phone calls.
Alex Burchetta

Job posted on December 10, 2007
The Merry-Go-Round Playhouse seeks Front of House Manager, Administrative and Company Management Assistants for its 2008 summer season. Administrative Assistants assist in Front of House operations at all performances, as well as take on various opportunities in production and administration. Company Management Assistants work with the Company Manager in all aspects including arranging for transportation, housing, hospitality and logistics in the care of over 100 actors, musicians and technicians. Send letter, resume, references and availability to: or Production Manager, MERRY-GO-ROUND PLAYHOUSE, 17 William Street, 2nd Floor, Auburn, NY 13021. Visit for more information. EOE.

2008 TECHNICAL STAFF - Madison, NJ
Job posted on January 17, 2008
THE SHAKESPEARE THEATRE OF NEW JERSEY is gearing up for our 46th annual season! Applicants are sought for all production staff positions in scenic, costumes, props, paint, lighting, and sound. Interested individuals should submit a resume with references and cover letter to Mr. Kelly Easterling, Director of Production. Email: Fax: 973-236-2995. EOE

Job posted on November 30, 2007
(19 hours/week) WCSU's Theatre Arts Department seeks a part-time employee to work in the areas of production, production management, and arts management, up to 19 hours per week. A Bachelor's degree, extensive computer skills, ability to multi-task, and strong detail orientation are required. Prior experience in a technical theatre area (costumes, lighting, etc) is preferred. Work schedule will be afternoons and evenings on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and may include evenings and weekends. Some flexibility may be available. Pay rate of $16-$18/hour, depending upon experience. To apply: send a cover letter, resume, and contact information for 3 references to Professor Sal Trapani, Chair, WESTERN CONNECTICUT STATE UNIVERSITY Theatre Arts Department, 181 White Street, Danbury, CT 06810. Review of applications will begin immediately and continue until the position is filled. Applications may also be emailed to: Please include in subject line: UA Applicant and your Name. WCSU is an AA/EO employer.

Trying to keep my mind off of lunch.

I can't wait until I get through my mental block with this phone. I'm still not used to it. I guess it doesn't help that Sprint is still fucking with me. Man oh man, this is why loyal customers of 3 years decide to leave. Well, that and a new phone on a (hopefully) better plan.


13 days until Hawaii! I am thinking about getting a haircut this week so it has time to grow into something cool by the time I get there. Because, you know, I really care about how cool I look.

(I kind of do.)


I've found Everyblock, a pretty cool site that compiles super hyper local news. Unfortunately, I can't hear what's going on right outside my door, but I can hear what's going on near my mom's work. It's really neat, and has one for New York and Chicago too. It certainly passes the time when I'm not going over vocabulary and saving the world.


I can't believe that I've actually been watching American Idol these past few weeks. I mean, the horror that's slowly bubbling to the top is that I'm actually starting to enjoy it. Then I hide that part of me in my dark, pretentious soul and continue to look up websites about how the stocks are doing in Apple (AAPL) and Jamba Juice (JMBA). I scoff at what's going on, but then secretly hope that the cute blonde who's lived in a log cabin makes it to the top 12. It's her story! She's going to be out in the world!

Then I realize that I don't care. And I don't have any stocks. And that I know that while I may not be the Idol of millions, I'm going to keep on learning and becoming a better person.

Got a little hokey at the end, bet you weren't expecting that, HM?!

In Which We Learn Some Past

Ever since I was a young slip of a thing, I always had a fondness for Ice Cream Trucks. It was always one of those things where the expectation led up to a let down; the ice cream was never as delicious as imagined. But oh the designs! I remember a rocket ship, or one that looked like a gingerbread man (that tasted like ginger, I think) and one with a Mario face that was called "Italian Plumber." They were the great expectations of my childhood - something that never quite lived up to what was promised, but nevertheless a wonderful thing I looked forward to on hot summer days playing in the backyard with my dog. I had precious few friends ever since the incident where we all were wearing our shirts as capes and they had made fun of my breasts.

Today I had an evolved form of that feeling, that longing for ice cream. I was driving to work on 101, and passed by a Dreyer's Ice Cream truck. One that transports frosty cold ice cream to stores, not one that sells ice cream to hungry Senior Administrative/Marketing Assistants. My urge was not to rush up and give them money, but rather to swerve my car, causing the truck to swerve and flip over, therefore spilling the delicious ice cream treats for all passers by. People would rejoice as the different flavors mixed and mingled and the driver of the truck was not hurt, only hungry for some ice cream. It would start a new wave of peace and prosperity, one that would bring ice cream for all!

But with my luck, the truck was probably full of illegal immigrants.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Neato Cheato

UCSF medical building has wireless Internet! Hello easy online times
with phone!

I hope this bill isn't something awful. I'm really scared that if I
can't afford it now, I REALLY won't be able to do it later on.

Anyway. Yet


And that's where it stops this morning, and I had to go into the office. "Anyway. Yet". What could I have meant to say at that time?

Anyway. Yet again I have a cream pie.

Anyway. Yet for now I want some shoes.

Anyway. Yeti!

The world will never know. I certainly don't, and I was writing the fucking thing, so I must have no idea what the hell I was talking about. It was probably about the phone or some such nonsense about me being worried about the bill. I NEED to stop worrying about that. Jesus ben, it's just a fucking phone. And if it's too much money, you'll decrease the contract. SHUT UP ALREADY.

I haven't heard anything from Marin Shakespeare yet. Then again, their generals are this weekend, so I MAY come in for something later on, who knows? I don't expect anything from them, or any company for that matter, I just know that I have to keep putting it out there in the world. That's all I can do.

[Edited for content] today was really really cool. I think it ran on a little long, but everyone got to work on their characters, so I'm excited about what next week will bring.

I did know that after [edited for content] today, Elias, one of the other [edited for content] works for Marin Shakes in their office! As a part time employee! Who would have thought of that? We bitched slightly about the Curriers, but we came to the conclusion that they are cool people, all in all, we just don't agree with everything they do. And after the fact... I sort of still agree with that statement. And I drove another [edited for content] to Marin, but I feel like an ass because I can't remember his name, just that his dad has an acting workshop and he invited me to come tonight (Sorry dude, have a dinner thing to go to). But it honestly sounds fun, costs some money, but I might be able to get a free class or two.

Other news: My pants are REALLY TIGHT. I couldn't find my normal black jeans today, so I put on my other pair, and HOLY COW. They must have shrunk in the wash a while back, because now I remember why I never wanted to wear them. Good news though, the reason why I wasn't wearing them in the past was because they were too small, now they are only slightly uncomfortable! I say slightly because I like the way they frame my thunder.

I think I'm also getting a little sick. I've felt very tired and emo all day despite the good sleep I had last night and the lack of anything that really should upset me. I just know I get really emo when I have antibodies going.

2 more hours. I can do this.

Monday, January 28, 2008

More walking lovliness

Apparently this didn't post two days ago...

I just had a great talk with Meredith. It was mostly bitching and moaning about shit in our lives and the jobs we have and our art. She's an actress and a paintress, as well as an excellent writer with whom I share the same malady of using commas too much. She's living in New York and if not actually thriving, is actually surviving there, which gives me hope for my future if I head that direction.

We have a lot of the same jealousies and passion for theatre, and it was refreshing to talk to someone who travels in the same circles and is trying to be a professional. So all in all, it was pretty awesome. She's an excellent person, and I do hope we keep in touch, if only for the bitching factor.

Teh Weekendz

This weekend was mostly taken up by tired arguments and auditions for things that I most certainly will be cast in.*

Saturday: when talking to Monica we seemed to always butt horns at some stupid thing or another. We were both tired from the week and from our stupid jobs, and I wasn't looking forward to my upcoming auditions of last weekend and the coming grad school auditions (one of which I'm sure to get**). We were both tired and testy, and so all arguments seemed to cumulate around the fact that I didn't have a car, a topic that we have talked about in the past, and it doesn't really bother her, but the lack of sleep makes everything teem with agression. It wasn't pleasant for a while. I made pancakes that morning though. They were the best pancakes I've ever made.

She did, however, come with me to my TheatreWorks audition, to accompany me on my drive to Palo Alto. That was excellent, and a fun drive for the most part, after we got over the fact that we were both cranky. My audition itself turned out to be pretty successful; I gave them a show to watch in 2 minutes, which is the best we can do. My song went well, not quite the best I've ever sang it, but it was one of the best times I've ever performed it, and my monologue brought some laughs from the casting folks. Leslie Martinson. That's her name... I should send her a thank you card or something. ONE OF HAL'S ARTWORK CARDS. I'll do that tomorrow.

I've never been good at networking or anything like that. Or maybe I just don't think I'm good at that. In the moment at a party or something I'm pretty good, I think. Oh well, a card is a step in the right direction. Maybe business cards are in my future too. "Ben Knoll: Actor, Legend, Geneus."

After the AWESOME audition, we drove up to Serramonte, and after getting lost (my fault) and getting critiziced by my directional ability (my fault, I haven't been around south bay in the while) we walked around the mall for a bit. I love Serramonte, it has turtles in the main area, and apparently now it has an Elephant Bar. Something of which I haven't ever been to, but now am wondering where it has been all my life. I look forward to future excursions there. Mahi Mahi, delicious.

Sunday: After a night's sleep, there was less aggression and apologies were served. Also, a small breakfast and then Indian Food at Bombay Gardens! Delicious and fun times with friends. Erica, Drew, Keith, Tabitha, Monica and I all sat and were VERY obnoxious for about an hour and a half in that restaurant: something that I probably would have minded more if I wasn't having such a good time being an ass myself. I didn't eat too much, which was good of me, but I probably ate a little more than I should have, since I didn't get around to exercising at all this weekend.

Auditioned for Marin Shakespeare later that day. They're the same folks as they've always been; eager, nice, and utterly tactless. I met and read with the guy who played Hotspur in last year's whatever, and saw that he was a very pleasant fellow, who made very average and unintelligent acting decisions. They seemed enamored by him. Who wouldn't be? He's tall, fit, dark haired, and a pleasant, boring actor. This is what they said to him, I sitting aside, completely unimpressed with his skills, but remember folks, I'm in the room:

"I don't know when you're going to become the next Daniel Day Lewis, but we'll use you for as long as you want us."

I don't care what anyone thinks about me. I don't care what anyone thinks about other people, bad actors included. What needs to happen though is to not fucking say it when I'm in the same room. At least give me the courtesy of the what was it, oh right, years of work I've done for you guys in the past and let me go out of the room before sucking his unimpressive (but tall, dark, and handsome) dick.

What this is saying to me - we will hire this guy, but by omitting talking to you, you don't have a chance in hell to work here. I know that anything coming from them, good or bad, is not a testament to my acting skills: if they didn't cast me, it would just mean that they have their heads up their asses, as usual; if they did cast me, it wouldn't mean that they actually liked me, for my talent, just for some odd whim that they were on that day.

What a motherfucking racket. All of the judgement of my profession, any union I want to join, any work I want to do, is up to the decision of rich idiotic cunts.

I went home and bitched, and then mom helped me with Edmund monologue. I felt better. I still do. And I feel good about the new direction this monologue is going. Instead of making it angry the whole time, it's more like addressing nature as an old friend, bitching, if you will! Use the anger! Then Monica and I went to Iron Springs, a restaurant near to her house, and I ate too much garlic fries and now I have heartburn.

I sure as hell hope I get into a grad school. If I don't, I don't really know what I'm going to do with my career. Maybe I'll go back to school to do something else. I just want something to happen. I don't want to hate the majority of my day and the majority of my art because I'm not doing what I want to do. There's nothing else I'd rather do, I'm eager, willing, hard working passionate about the art form, and above all I'm a pretty good actor. No one would regret casting me. And yet I'm not tall, dark, handsome, and dull. Mabye there's something to that. After all, it has worked for many people in my life so far.

*Haha, right.

** I'm being more positive here.

Friday, January 25, 2008

You know, I've been thinking. Maybe I can cross post some of these to my old workhorse of my livejournal account. There's a community there, and it's little more than a copy paste. Also, I might be able to do it from iJournal at home. Also, if I wanted to make entries more private, I could. Also, I have no idea what I've written there. I've had it off and on for seven years.

Strange to think about where I've been when I've posted there. Goddamn, all over the place. I remember the first time I set it up, in high school, in that computer lab sitting next to Ashley. Seven years ago. I'm glad she's still my friend.


[Edited for content] was great yesterday. It was a lot more fun than I thought I would have. I even got to [edited for content] and then I [edited for content] while I was [edited for content] in a whole room by myself! It truly was an [edited for content] day. Hopefully today will be as [edited for content].


I kind of want to go to the Edwardian Ball tonight, a festival of the likes of I've never heard of before until about an hour ago! EDWARD GOREY THEMED BALL. I mean, come on. Edward. Gorey. BALL.

Crap. Work at work.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


Got in trouble for the last post. Confidentiality. So...


This is the official apology for the last post. You know who you are that I'm apologising to. I will not take pictures of the medical and I will continue to be funny, but just in a more obfuscated way.

I'm planning on still documenting it, but it's gonna be private, so sorry all you 12 readers.

Boy oh boy I hope this gets more readers now. At least Bernie, he seemed to like it. Maybe then my ads'll pay off! Woot. That's right, I said it.


I suppose I should document the Chico trip a little bit while I'm here. Monica and I went up to Chico to see her friend Jenny and son. Jenny's an old college friend of M, so it was mostly along the lines of the other trips of her and I, I sit around awkwardly, chiming in at points that I actually think I know what I'm talking about, and then they laugh or ignore and continue to talk about work or college.

That little dude Gabriel though. One handsome devil who will be a heartbreaker someday.

The arm is Jenny. Part of Jenny, she does have a whole body, just not in that picture.

The trip was fun though, and we ate in Davis at a place called The Habit. Good burger, but nothing to write home about. Huh, guess I'm writing to home about it here. Damn!


And this is a picture that I took today on my walk (1 hour).

Monologues later tonight. Gonna rock those out.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The First Day of the Rest of Your Week!

The first half of today was taken up by the training session for the UCSF Standardized Patient Program. Last night and this morning I was excited ($20 bucks an hour!) and nervous (what the fuck is happening?!) about the whole experience. I also thought that it might be a good thing for exposure to other actors and try the whole networking thing that I seem to be terrible at. You know, the real job that all actors have? Networking? Yeah, that one.

Getting there was slightly confusing; the parking garage was open on a side street, so I pulled the car in and looked around to see many spaces reserved for surgery patients or cancer patients or burn patients. I couldn't really get mad, I mean... they do have bigger cars than I do.

Entering the realm of the SP program was interesting. Since I was there a half an hour early, I was the only one in the office for about 15 minutes until a nice man shows up. His name eluded me every single time I tried to pronounce it, so we joked about how I was an American and therefore didn't need to know how to pronounce things, and then told him my name was Be'en. It was a lot funnier if you were there. He seemed very nice and an interesting chap, studying his lines for A Thousand Clowns or was it Ten Thousand Clowns? Well he was studying for An Indeterminate Number of Clowns.

After Balarahgmpsdgaohi came a stream of Actors. These people are different from actors because they:
  1. Can do no wrong.
  2. Are amazing at everything they do.
  3. Better than you.

One fine chap had been signed with Stars (You know, that agency I was going and continue to go for, that one, the one that won't sign me? Yeah, that one.) and his dad was giving him acting lessions and is a "prominent" workshop person in San Rafael. Oho! I say to myself, That's how he gets everything! Unless he is a terrific actor. That's probably the case. I won't judge. At least if I do judge, I'll stick to italics.

Lets just say that I really should be in Stars. And I stuck to italics.

One was very friendly, but very much an Actor. He stayed in character as Toby Ettinger (the patient) for almost the entire time. Method actors, ha! His name was William.

When Bernie Miller, the organizer of the whole thingamajigger came in, I did my traditional thing of reintroducing myself; I figured that since I can never remember everyone's name, I might as well and take the initiative and reintroduce myself, I just wish more people did that to me. There's some people who I never remembered their names in the first place, and now, almost a year later, I can't ask them. Yeah, I'm an asshole.

Anyway, he replied, "I know." In the sense that he didn't really know, he just wanted to show you that he did know. Just so you know. He knows who you are. Then, going into the other room, I saw my headshot on the top (along with the others) so, yeah, he probably did know who I was. He just didn't need to be defensive.

The process of "training" was really just going through stuff that my four plus years of theatre training have covered an amazing amount over. Oh well, it's good practice, and it's good to see what NOT to do in the process of acting in this program, or acting in general. Honestly, I learn more about what not to do in theatre than what to do. Chalk it all up to experience and collect 20 bucks an hour, and I'm set.

The only really interesting thing was watching the process of the check-up. Anyone who's been in an examination knows what it is, but it was neat to see it from the other perspective, and what they're doing, what they're looking for, etc. It made me realize what I was there for, you know? We're training these people to be doctors, and we definetly need more and more of those. It really seems like I'm doing something good with my art with this project.


After my round of auditions starting this weekend and continuing for 3 weeks (At least 2 a weekend.), I'm going to send my stuff out to agencies again. Hopefully someone will snap me up. Then after my hopes and dreams are shattered, at least I'll have a friend in Ray of Light theatre. I'm sure I'll have something with them.

First up on the audition list: TheatreWorks in Palo Alto! Then Marin Shakespeare on Sunday! Then next week the Grad School ones start... YIKES.

Monday, January 21, 2008


I left all my stuff for UHM at work. I think I am always determined to
leave something important at work everyday. One day it's tupperwear
the next its documents relating to my future education. Fucking work.

Also. I really need to turn off this stupid key clicking option on
this phone. Its obnoxious and probabily not good for the speakers.
Test. Yeah it sounds like shit.

I've been watching Tin Man, that sci-fi mini series. Its pretty
awesome except for the low production values that make it a little
wonky. Maybe that's why they have all my favorite B actors in it.
Except for Bruce Campbell. If he was in this movie I would cream my

Tomorrows the training for the UCSF Standardized Patient Program. I'm
oddly nervous. But then I realize that this'll be the most I've ever
been paid for in theatre. Which ya know is the whole reason I'm living
here, to be a professonal actor. Blah blah same old me bitching. I
really should come up with something better to dwell about.

Exciting stuff in my future. I have my auditions coming up. Now THAT's
something to be worried about.

I'm kind of an asshole, I guess

There's been this guy calling all morning from China. I can't understand a fucking thing he says, and I KNOW there's gotta be someone who speaks his language here, but just my luck, no one's around or answering or anything. His calls have become more passionate and full of angst.

"Cana spek tu (garble garble). Plees, frum China."

I try to understand him, but it's very hard, and his accent is very thick. I don't think he knows anything other than those phrases. That being said, I'm not really trying very hard to find someone. If our folks here don't want to be found, they make themselves scares, or they "can't hear" the page. I'd do the same thing.

I've been working on applications this morning, and looking through the Sprint forums. And I just saw today's Woot. I'm going to Hawaii in 22 days. I may have to get this. Dear god it's a lovely camera for an aMAZING price.

I'm going for it.

Wish me luck.

Martin Luther King Day

It's MLK day and I'm going to work. Seems racist to me, since it's a
national holiday. Probably not racist really, just greed taking over
everyone who is in charge.

22 more days till Hawaii. That'll show em. To get back at them being
racist and greedy, I'll just go to Hawaii for 7 days. Buahahahaha!!

I still need to call sprint today after or during work. I didnt get
the chance yesterday. And by not getting the chance, I mean I napped
almost all afternoon.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Orcs & Elves

This was entered in a contest for a DS, its requirements were 50% about Orcs and Elves, 50% humorous. I think I hit them pretty well, but then again, I have a weird sense of humor:

Orcs And Elves

copyright Ben Knoll


He stared up at name of the tavern.

“Fuck. Orcs and Elves? Come on, Brahm, going to a party with those dicks?” The first figure flicked a perfect blonde hair back into place behind his tall ear.

“Wait, let me check,” said the dwarf, looking down at the scroll. His hair was held up in the new spike fashion using magic, ground nixie, and hair gel.

“I didn’t even want to come out.”

“I know.”

“I don’t think you did, I think what you think is that I wanted to come out.”

“No, I really know how you feel, Eöl,” he continued to look at the scroll, “I think this is it.”

“No, I think when I said, ‘I really want to stay here and work on figuring out what my wand is trying to say to me-’ it meant that you don’t say ‘Screw that, let’s go out to this new bar I found, meet some new people and hang ou-’ what the hell are you laughing at?”


“Oh gods, you are such an asshole! Why do you have to act like you’re 90? It’s a perfectly honest thing to say: the wand talks to me and -would-you-stop-snickering!”

“I’m not snickering,” he snickered, “let’s go in. I hear Orcs put out.”

“The only thing they put out is a foul odor, Brahm! BRAHM! Oh godsdamnit.”

Eöl followed Brahm through the tavern door.

Two large figures approached the tavern.

“Fuck. Orcs and Elves? Come on, Hrothgar.”

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Egyptian Gods

I've recieved a few new things to do at work. Unfortunately, this was not a gradual process, this was something that happened over the course of 2 days, and none of these things really have anything in common with each other, so its' not like I can clean the office and search for marketing materials at the same time. This is not a bad thing, because it'll make my days go faster, it's just something out of the ordinary, because I'm used to sitting on my ass, and the only stress I've had was the pressure on my ass after sitting for 9 hours.

I almost typed 9 horus. I wonder how Horus would feel if I used him in a context like that.

For some reason my energy has been very scattered this morning. I feel like I'm grasping at the ground on a cliff and my fingers are slipping. It's a very strange feeling, and I don't know where it's coming from. I'm pretty much on top of things, and what I haven't done, I have plans for. Everything's planned out. Maybe I'm just anxious about the auditions coming up. Then again, they're just auditions, and my monologues are going really well. I just have to work on them a bit more. And in the meantime, I'm honing 4 really great monologues for the rest of auditions.

Maybe I'm just picking up the energy here. Everything seems so very tense, but I can't put my finger on it. And if it is energy at work, I don't like the idea of me empathizing with this place. Maybe it's just my natural caring personality caring for something I don't really like. Or maybe the workplace itself is just bored with what its doing. I mean, it used to build ships. Now it's landscaping. Good landscaping, but it seems to pale in comparison.

I dunno though, I'd rather create something that grows than create something which destroys. Hm, something to think about?


I can't believe it, but I've watched American Idol these past two nights. It's a love/hate relationship really. Actually, more hate/disgust relationship. Although I must admit I don't hate it as much as I thought I would. What really makes me angry is that it's more like theatre's bastard son, the one who everyone hates, is now coming to the limelight and taking over using his own brand of theatre. The brand that creates photocopies of pop stars to force feed over the course of X weeks.

That being said, if I were to audition, I would sing "Umbrella."

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Keynote and rest of day.

Here's another FedEx please.


Michaele says please like it's just that little something extra. More like a nonverbal, like someone makes a grunt or a clicking noise with their teeth after a statement. It has no meaning, no intention, just something she's created out of habit that has nothing to do with being polite.

The paf is the soft puff of my chair next to me as a letter or invoice or something falls upon it, with a little note saying to ship this particular package. I'm glad I get double directions. FedEx this please, FedEx this please. I'm really too stupid to understand it the first time; I am so glad I get a reminder.

I get to install Leopard tonight, and maybe install the 1.1.3 Firmware update for my iPhone. I say maybe to both actually, since I might not make it home to really hardcore fuck around on the computer. Oddly enough, my only worry is that it will mess with my already weird to figure out Transmission program. But I figured it out once, I can do it again. And who knows, it might just configure itself around my eyes in a mystical haze of wonderment. Then I forget that computers are stupid.

I watched the blogs as the Keynote unfolded today for Apple. Pretty cool stuff unveiled; I gotta say, I'm kind of relieved Jobs didn't announce a 3G iPhone, because I would probably have to get it. Yeah, I think I'd be one of those kind of people. Drooled, of course, over the MacBook Air, but then thought how specialized a product it is - I'm not going to get one, I'd rather get a new iMac. After all, I have my own personal computer in my pocket in the form of a phone. Loving the idea of the Time Capsule, but I have a feeling I'd enjoy just a normal backup device that I can mess with more manually and with more control.

A man just walked twice around the building trying to figure out how to enter. That was funny.


Send this FedEx please.

Time to go.

What you need to do

>> Sprint needs to be fixed. They said that the bill would be out. I
>> haven't recieved that bill.
>> Do you really want this phone? Yes, you're sending this from bed,
>> but you could easily have gotten up and used the computer. Speeds
>> aren't really that bad, but I don't know if I need all these
>> features. I like the widescreen capabilities, so why not just have
>> the ipod touch? I don't really know what I was getting into. Boo
>> urns. It still is a fun phone. Grr. Why can't I just like it?I can
>> afford it for now, I should take advantage of that fact.
>> You need too talk to Leah about your show. It's good to do that in
>> person but remember that it starts in one week.
>> For that matter, the Theatreworks auditon is next Saturday. The
>> following week starts the grad school shit. You need to work on
>> those fucking monologues. Slacker. Do it tonight. Yeah, yeah, I
>> know you've been exercising and eating healthy and shit, but you
>> want to get into that college, don't you?
>> Also transcripts. Also more colleges. Perhaps SFSU for its
>> broadcast program. That doesn't really help me in getting away from
>> the bay area, but itbdoes help my future.
>> Okay that's enough for one day. I'll put down my monologue work
>> later.

Monday, January 14, 2008

I have been slacking when it comes to working on my monologues. I ran through them last week, sure, but I didn't do the hardcore experimentation that I was taught is how you MAKE A CHARACTER. Yeah, I think some of that's bullshit, but mostly, it's going way overboard that helps you find some cool character stuff to work on. This week I'm going to be better about it, starting with tonight, working on Boy Who Ate The Moon. And probably Don Juan. Sganarelle has really been slacking. Silly Sganarelle.

Macworld Expo is tomorrow. I'm kind of extremely excited about it. I wish I could get out and go to it, but work is work, and I shouldn't really miss a day and spend the money trying to see the really nifty shit that's going to go on there. I can check it online. That's pretty much what I'll be doing all day tomorrow. I'm excited. I said that before. But I am. Especially if they release a new kind of iPhone, I'm going to totally bring mine in and get the new upgrade. It will be awesomez.

Gr, forgot that I have to still talk to Leah about the standardized patient program. Not that I'm not going to do the program, I am an actor afer all, it's just that I'm still apprehensive. This place has been pretty nice to me about this kind of shit. Oh wait, that means they'll probably CONTINUE to be nice to me, and let me do my best, especially since it's just 4 half days. It'll be fun! I'm excited about that too. Lots to be excited over. I think this is going to be a good year. I'm even over being mad at Sprint. Who really cares if I have a sock to the wallet? It'll be out of my mind and I can play with my new toy (hopefully newer after tomorrow... hello 3G! Well, maybe).

Also, my new sweatervest ensemble makes me smile. I really like my new old navy purchases. I also hope to keep losing weight so I can fit more comfortably into these new pants. Soon... very soon. I feel so much better than before!

gotta run

Friday, January 11, 2008

I really should stop making more labels

I had a wonderful evening last night, procrastinating from doing laundry, my monologues, applying for grad schools, working on my newfound piratical ways, actually looking at the new game Pirates of the Burning Sea, and bathing. Bathing is becoming increasingly important with each passing second.

What I did do, however, was go out with Monica and some pals of hers from work. Most of the evening was them talking about work, but I had alcohol on my side, so everything was peachy keen. James even put the bug in my ear about WoW again; apparently it's a lot different (better?) than I remembered. Whatever, it might be what brings me back, well that and increased exposure to my computer. I haven't touched that thing in many moons.

I perhaps was too liberal with the drink and said some interesting things in reaction to comments and stories I've heard, mostly trying to say something that related to what they were talking about. (Which is why I have so few friends from work, they always talk about work.) Needless to say, Monica and I had a pretty odd fight afterwards. I didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable or upset, it just was odd how a) much I was upset by her comments of my mistakes and b) why this drama has to be created in the first place. Anyway, I don't want to dwell: I don't like worrying about fights or jobs or anything that brings drama into my life any more than I have to.

Woo, just had a pile of work fall on my desk. Done now. How much fun, Jean leaving. I love how we lose a great worker, and the people who pick up the slack get nothing in return. Oh well, they may see how hard I've been working and what slack I've been picking up. But I'm done bitching. Isn't this the new way? I'm tired of bitching. I'll say my mind, certainly, but I'm not going to dwell on things.

My interview yesterday with the Standardized Patient Program was AWESOME! They loved me so much, and now I will work with them as a fake sick person for $20 bucks an hour. Plus, if they really like my work, they'll use me for a ton of other stuff. I'm really looking forward to it. And it's an honest to goodness paying acting gig. I'm happy for that.

Things are looking up. I'm getting pretty confident in my monologues (when I've rehearsed them) and I'm no longer scared about my upcoming grad school auditions. Sure, I'm nervous - which will only increase as time goes on - but I'm no longer about to shit my pants from utter fright at the idea of people like this judging me.

Plus, I have an audition tomorrow for Little Shop of Horrors. Keep my game up. Hopefully I'll get in and hopefully they'll like me enough to make an interesting casting choice for Seymour. Hope hope hope. If chorus, I probably won't take it. But what the hey, you know? I'm excited, and Monica's going to help me with my song tonight. Right, Monica?

A list for stuff this weekend (that I HAVE TO TO):

Finish Grad School Applications
Finish (read: start) the FAFSA
Call more theatres for auditions
Compile list of agencies to send headshot/resume out

And that's it!


Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Dear lord....

That was the longest hour of my life.

But Ben, why don't you try to be productive and write something or apply for schools?

Fuck you.

Accounting Makes Me Work Harder

So, new station.

I sit near Accounting now, in front of a red wall. I feel very dotcom. Very power wall. Very much like I made a lot more than I really do. Maybe some of that will influence the powers that be and I'll accidentally make an extra $100,000 on my next paycheck. Maybe not.

It's a little strange. I would be able to articulate it better if my soul and mind haven't been sucked dry by the moving in office and the stupidity of coworkers today. Every time someone walks through this back door, they get a proud smirk on their faces as if to say, "Oh, Ben's sitting by Accounting now! Isn't that a hoot?" And then they ask how I like my new desk.

It's actually nice. Lots of natural light, a quick escape if I need a breath of fresh air, and I see people coming in. All in all, pretty cool. Accounting peeps are so engrossed in their own stuff that I really can do whatever they want, and whenever they do see me doing something, they mostly notice the fact that I'm typing, so it doesn't matter to them what I'm typing on. Especially if I keep a bored and slightly annoyed look on my face, perhaps with a sprinkle of whimsy at times. My normal expression to not attract attention.

Also, I found a bunch of auditions that I'm interested in (Ganked from

4M; 4F; 6M/F (ensemble). All ethnicities. Prep B'way song, bring sheet music in key; accomp prov'd. No tapes. AEA (2 Guest Artists) & non-AEA. Stipend. Auds 1/12 10AM-5PM. Callbacks 1/14. Rehs begin 2/19. Perfs 4/3-20. Appt: (650) 579-5565 x1, Tues-Fri 10-5PM. Info:

A Midsummer Night's Dream & The Comedy of Errors. Non-AEA. Paid. Perfs May-Sept. Resume/2 HS: Box 301, Stinson Beach, CA 94970. Info: (415) 383-1115.

The Full Monty
7M (20-60), 1M (30-60, African American), 1M (12); 1F (50-70, singer), 6F (20-40). Prep 32 bars of a song in your key, accomp prov'd. Non-AEA. No pay. No appt. Auds 2/16 noon, 2/17 7PM. Info:

Non-AEA. Some pay. Auds 2/8-10, 3/14-16. The Western Stage, 156 Homestead Ave., Salinas. 1/26 ACT, San Francisco. 1/30 Foothill College, Los Altos. 2/18 PCPA, Santa Maria. 2/27 Solano College, Fairfield. 3/6 Santa Clara University. 3/8 UC Santa Barbara. 3/9 UC Irvine. Appt: (831) 759-6037. Info:

3M (25-45); 4F (25-45). Prep 1 comedic monologue, 1.5 min max. Non-AEA. Stipend. Auds 2/2 10AM-2PM, 2/3 6-9PM. Rehs begin 3/3. Perfs 4/18-5/11. Dragon Theatre, Palo Alto. Appt: (650) 493-2006 *3.

Shopping M/F. Must move well. Prep comedy song, ballad & contemp humorous monologue. No a capalla, transposing or recorded accomp. Non-AEA. Pay. Auds 2/13 7PM. Perfs ongoing Fri & Sat at Shelton Theater, SF. Appt/info: (415) 392-8860.

Short Film
7M/F (1F be 20-30s); extras. Non-SAG. No pay. Reimbursed for travel expenses. Shooting 1/12-13 & 1/19-20 in SF. HS/reel: Info:

SF Shakespeare
Pericles (2008), Romeo and Juliet (2008-09), Macbeth (2009). All ethnicities & genders encour. Prep 2 contrasting Shakespearean monologues, prep to perform dramatic monologue but have 2nd ready. AEA & non-AEA (Romeo & Juliet non-AEA only). Auds 2/3 1-5PM (non-AEA), 2/4 1-5PM (AEA). Appt/info: (415) 865-4434 x5.

Spitfire Grill
1M (40-50s), 1M (40s, solid rock voice w/edge, top "G"), 1M (mid- to late 20s, strong folk tenor to "G"); 1F (about 70, mezzo/alto range), 1F (40-50s, mezzo/alto range), 1F (mid 30s, strong high belt to "D"), 1F (20s, strong country belt to "D", some head voice). Prep 2 songs in key. Bring sheet music, accomp prov'd. Poss stipend. Auds 2/19 7-9:30PM. Callbacks 2/26. Pacheco Playhouse, 484 Ignacio Blvd., Novato. Rehs begin Apr. Perfs 6/12-7/13. Info: Carl Jordan, (415) 717-7526.

2M (65+), 2M (30-40), 1M (17-25); 2F (65+), 2F (30-40), 1F (17-25). Stipend. Auds in Feb. Callbacks in Mar. Reh begin Mar. Perfs in May/June. Belrose Theatre, 1415 5th Ave., San Rafael. Appt/info: (510) 787-2706.

Great America: Hosts/actors, singers, dancers. Auds 2/2, 2/9 & 2/10. Apply: (408) 986-5941. Info:

Work on these later tonight, I will I will.


For some reason I haven't been getting down and dirty applying for more schools. I know I really need to get that UCLA one out and out by this weekend, but I haven't sat down and paid them and figured out how the letters of recommendation will work. They, like all of LA, live in their own little world and don't accept online uploads of recommendations like EVERY OTHER SCHOOL I'VE APPLIED TO. So I have to send requests all across the country. How quaint.


Just recieved a text message from AT&T saying that my online account was set up. I don't remember that happening or requesting, but online accounts are cool, maybe I'll check it out later tonight. I still don't really have this text message dealio down. Does the incoming text count away from my total every month? I don't do enough for it to really matter... it's just something to puzzle over. When I get over 200 texts a month, that's a time to worry and upgrade to infinite.

For now though, all good. I'm enjoying this phone every day, and even the naysayers (some anti apple people at work) are actually charmed by it.

Everyone says that it should be 3G though. Maybe someday. But for now, I don't really know the difference; I've never had a really powerful phone before. I'm excited now that I'm not as scared.

And now I'm thirsty.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Messing Around With Piracy

I've been working on installing and configuring Transmission. It's been an odd process, combined with the fact that I've been at home very infrequently nowadays and I have little to no sense of how anything works on a computer. Mostly it's been a port issue, and then, miraculously, last night the little red light turned green and the fabled "Port is Open" text appeared. Then nothing happened for an hour and a half. I'm hoping to solve this issue later this evening after my DDR workout and some monologue crunching. (Last night went very well, by the way thankyouforasking, I got a lot done, and mostly memorized Sganarelle.)

I also have recieved a request to call the excellently named Jewel Smally of the UCSF Standardized Patient Program: I get to play fake sick people. I got that email yesterday and for some reason just didn't reply. Self fulfilling prophesy? Laziness? I thought I was better than that... well, I'm calling them today. In an hour, in fact. On my iPhone. (Come on, iPhone, make me believe I need you...)

That's pretty much it. My job hunt has gone on an unofficial hiatus as I prepare for these grad school auditions. I suppose I could still check it out during the day, but I need that time to sit around and complain and not do anything because I feel like I'm wasting my life in something I dont' want to do and then my mind wanders and I think that what the hell am I going into why do I want to be an actor this is a horrible thing. Then I realize there's nothing else I'd rather be, it brings me joy. That is why I'm going to stick to it.

Okay okay, I'm going to go look for a different day job.

In Which We Puzzle Through Our Days.

To keep my sanity at work I have been reading about Macbeth, one of the most famous crazy people in literature, and quite possibly Shakespeare's best work. Yeah, if anyone wants to fight, I'm here.

What does that say about me?

Anyway, my journies through the interwebs have brought me to Teller's (of Penn &) journal about how he is working on a fantastical, grotesque, magical version of Macbeth, and how he doesn't mind saying "Macbeth" around theatre people. What a great guy.

is one of them.

It's like a good book. He's an amazing writer.


The saga of the phones continues as I am nervous both about Sprint and AT&T. It's mostly just nervous about change and my more generalized fear of confrontation. I met with such resistance from the phone reps, of course, they're trained to do it, but it's just strange that they're trained to cheat you. I think that's my buzz word for this whole experience, cell phone usage in general; they're out to cheat you. I'll figure it out. And I can afford my new shiny toy. At least until February, what wonders will the developers package hold?! (Just keep telling yourself that, Ben. And just you wait until you get into a grad school, could you afford it then? Well, maybe, if I only eat once a week...)


Yesterday seemed to go by very quickly; today not so much. It has only been 2 and a half hours, and I feel like I should bite my face off. My work is not terrible work... I just wish (to agree with Monica) that I was doing something to better the world. Administrative work is honest work... but when there is so much shit going on everywhere else, and I'm sitting cozy with a new super fast personal computer that fits in the palm of my hand. And I'm debating about which place I should give my money too. That's how much money I have. And I'm not even rich.

Gah, sometimes I think too much and make myself feel bad.

(Tonight, 30 minutes of DDR and cleaning my room. At lunch, calling the rep from the UCSF roleplaying program.)

Monday, January 7, 2008

My Personal Computer is Smaller Than Yours


Michaele just came over and brought me a bottle of (nice) wine for my birthday. She slammed it on the table and said, "Hope it was happy." Then she left. The whole thing was entirely unconvincing.

But now I have a bottle of wine! Delicious.


I'm slowly figuring out the odds and ends of this delicious iPhone. There's a part in my mind, the part that is silly and doesn't want me to have anything fun for fear I may break it (but that's kinda like preventing being hit by a car by not ever going outside), that wants to return it and then all the troubles with Sprint will go away! I could cancel AT&T (within 30 days of activation) and still be cool with everything. Sigh. I know I will love this thing when I have this Sprint of Damacles off of my head. I think it's just my odd side that won't let me have anything fun. I'm sure I was like this last year when I bought my computer.

So that's that. Cereal is eaten. Applications are continued. iPhones are worried upon. All is right with the world.

Friday, January 4, 2008


Blogging from iPhone, will it work?

If so, I'll say something witty. Um.. Banana.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

The 40th Post Spectacular

I'm going to Apple tonight at 4ish to try and get things done. My only hope is that a) there isn't a big line and b) it will turn out to be an easy fix. I did print out some forums of people with similar (read: identical) problems to mine, so I hope it's just a "oh, this? get this man a new phone! and a pretzel!"

Everything surrounding this whole phone process is really dumb, including Sprint being assholes. But when have they ever really been nice to me?

In preparation for this catastrophic meeting, I've kept my phone in sleep mode all day, trying ever so often to call it every few hours to see if it's still being stupid. In fact, let me try now. (Long pause, then a busy signal. I've never heard a busy signal so frequently as I have today.) I do hope it's easy... man, I'd hate to have to come back over and over again to then find out that it's something they need to look at overnight or send off or something equally as frustrating. It's a brand new phone. I shouldn't have this problem.

Also, I'm anxious about the fact that I will be going to the site of my brief job last year. I'm banking on the fact that they won't remember me, but you never know. I'm just not going to bring it up; after all, I am bringing them business.

Emailed Bruce, he's coming to the party on Saturday as well as to the Apple Store this evening. Fun times!

Then Golden Compass this evening. I plan on doing a run of my monologues, and if there's a wait, I'll do some of it at the store and in the car. I really need to work on these.

college chargers

So far my day has been an odd mixture of frustration and relief. On one hand, sprint has been dicking me around with a cancellation fee and the odd appearance of my old second line on my phone that I was sharing but had split many moons ago. That appeared, along with a cancellation fee, which was already guaranteed by Sprint reps that I wouldn't have to pay, because of the change in contract. Hurray for a waste of an evening to Sprint tonight.

On sort of the same hand, but slightly veering off in a mutant offshoot is the troubles with my iPhone. It seems like I never recieve a call or a message or anything when it is in sleep mode. 9 times out of 10 I either get a busy signal or it goes straight to voicemail. To top it all off, when I pull it out of voicemail, it either says "No Service" or no bars for up to a minute, and then it seems like it reboots with the system. Doing a search, I have found numerous incidents of the same complaint from people from the time the phone came out. So, probably no problem in getting it fixed then, right? The tech line said it was a hardware problem (after unsuccessfully trying it through reseting the phone, and an awkward pause as it didn't work, "Huh, that should have worked."), and that I should take it in to an Apple Store. Good, I thought, it will be easy, for certainly this problem has been treated there. Aaaand they had no idea what I was talking about. Even when I told them "apple tech said that it was a hardware problem." I am scheduled to come in on Saturday at 11, or to come and be a standby tonight. I'm skipping lunch and going there tonight.

On the other (non mutated) hand, I finished my application for Yale today, and have scheduled almost everything (and payed the 100 buck application fee... geez...). I need to get my recommenders off their butts and actually getting those letters out there, but that can be saved for another day. The appliation is the most important thing... and besides, I've given their contact information - probably my guilty emails to them will force them to at least accept a call. Until then, I'll finish up my apps for UCLA (priority due Jan 13) and UNLV (Due June 1... easy as pie).

And on the same hand (no mutation, just balance), I'm going to pay a BIG chunk of one of my loans today, just to get it out of the way. So nice stuff.

What's even more strange is that my phone from sprint is actually behaving. About 3 months ago the charging unit became strange, and would only charge if I wiggled it in there. Now it plugs in and charges like a dream. I wonder what this means? Maybe it meant it should have done that a while ago before I started to like my iPhone. Fucker.

The Saga of the Phones

He gazed down through the twilight, first at the blackness before him, the clifface jutting out sharply, then looking at the two objects in his hands. He held the one up to his face, examining the glossy black shield surrounding it, the archaic runes on the front, and the pure silver outline emblazoned with SAMSUNG, the runes of power. He opened the shell, and the item doubled in length with an oddly satisfying "plik."

"Bah!" he said, "What supersticious nonsense. I don't know why I ever fell for these words. They seemed so charming before, but now as they try to pull more and more gold from my pocket... when they have no right! Of course, it was opportune that they changed their agreement so that I may opt out... but now they challenge me? They want to start a battle with me, the champion of the West?"

As he said these words, his voice rose in fervor and tenaciousness. The wind whipped around his body, blowing his long coat behind him, out to his sides.

"I take this challenge with these people, SAMSUNG of Sprint! They will rue the day they took advantage of me!"

Swinging his hand and arm in an arc in the air, preparing to cast this dark abomination into the pit, he glanced down at his other hand, the thin bricklike device made of metal and glass. It seemed to nestle in the palm, cooing, beckoning to the man. He paused, and shook his head, slowly bringing his arm down, the closed device unthrown.

"And you," he began softly, "you lure me in with your vile ways. Oh yes, I agree that you have some wonderful, charming magics about you, but what use have you if there is no communication? Your runes on the back, do they not say 'iPhone'? Why do you mock us? We pur our trust in you, and our lured down the path of sin!"

At that moment, to his surprise, he felt tears streaking down his cheeks, he ignored them, "Both of you claim to bring the future to the palm of our hands. But what we really experience is frustration and pain. Pain beyond anything I could have ever imagined."

With that, he sighed, made an appointment at the Apple Store on one, and dialed '*2' on the other.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Home again Home again, Jiggaty Jig

The holidays were perhaps a 10 times more fantastic than I could have realized. I don't know why, it hadn't been that long since I've seen my family, but seeing them now was so wonderful; I knew that I had been missed, and so everyone would be on their best behavior. I didn't even get into any fights with my dad! We were so cordial. I think it was the knowledge that I was going to be leaving in a few days. Of course, at the end of the trip part of me wished I could have stayed longer.

Not that I actually did anything super spectacular the last few days of the trip. In fact, I mostly visited with family and friends. I saw both my grandparents: one's doing well, one's a lot older than I remember her, but she's still up and around at 89 years old, living by herself and everything!

Seeing Nick was awesome. I miss that kid. I miss him even more now that I got to see him and am now not going to see him for another 3 months. I can't wait until they start building teleportation devices so we can go wherever we want and see friends we haven't seen in a long time every day. Of course, then we wouldn't appreciate the time we do have together as much... but what the fuck, we have teleporters, so we don't have to!

The dinner with Ashley was really fun too. She's a really cool person, and we've been going through similar experiences this past year, with new jobs and new goals and new towns. Also, we went to Bread Co, which is delicious.

My goal for tonight is to apply to at least 1 other grad school (Yale) and if I have time, start on another. Then I want to reread Bone. Fuck, that thing is awesome. I'm so happy, I'm not even sad the break's over. I just had an amazing time.

Also, my iPhone rocks. YEAH.