Monday, September 29, 2008

Just on my mind

Why is it that when some asshole gets a role that I want, I just blow it off saying luck, but when one of my friends that I actually respect gets some role (or anything - job, toys, sex), I get incredibly jealous and reserved. Shouldn't good people be the ones receiving rewards? I believe so. I wish everyone who worked hard and were talented did get cast (or employed, entertained, laid). I say this in theory, but for some reason, it makes me feel really strange when my friends - good friends whom I've been talking with for a while now - are succeeding, and I'm... well. Not.

Then again, when assholes get roles, I feel pretty shitty too. But, laying on the stage yesterday, waiting for some monologue to be over, I had a bit of an epiphany. Or at least a reconfiguring of my thoughts. I'm going to try and be a nice guy. Sure, I won't be a complete nice person if someone kicks me in the face, and I'm never going to buckle.. but if someone's doing something I don't personally agree with (but is legal, etc.) then whatever, it's not part of my life, and I don't need to worry about it. Just keep going!

In that style, going to look at some auditions coming up.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

A To Do List (Thanks Monica!)

Today my schedule is
  1. Work on lines for Goodnight, Daniel. I've split my part into three sections, I want to have the first down solid by the end of today.
  2. Take a shower. (Done!)
  3. Record monologues (at least 2 takes to see how it changes) - Edmund, King Lear; Bottom, Midsummer; Launce, Two Gentlemen of Verona.
  4. Send monologues to places via email or YouTube - probably YouTube.
  5. Frantically look in mailbox for unemployment check.
  6. Sigh.
  7. Pout because there is no check.
  8. Look for work.
  9. Ukulele.
My biggest event of today is working on my monologues, and now that Tim's gone, I can get that done. I'm going to stop procrastinating and just do it.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I wish I was getting paid for my work.

Just finished week 2 of hundred pushups (I had a few false starts a while ago) when I decided to check my email. A few weeks ago, I had to drop out of a few reviews because I was sick, and honestly I really didn't want to go to the bayview district to see a show. Luckily I was indeed sick, so I couldn't go and get shot somewhere in San Francisco. Anywho, the editor is bugging me about going back to see the shows, and wasn't taking my hints, so finally I said I had been trying to fit it in my schedule, and wasn't able to (I'm so busy... right), so that someone else should go see these shows.

I'm in an odd place, really. This is really a job, and if you don't do part of your job, you get in trouble. However, I am a volunteer, and aside from making fun of my schedule, I am busy in most nights; if there were some day shows, I would love to go, but really... don't want to go to bayview right now. And those other shows? Yeah, I can't make them. My excuse is that I have paying work to go to. A reimagining of the truth, but I an argue that my nights working on finding a job is paying work. Either that, or I'm just getting tired of this. Getting tired of not getting paid for my work. Whatever. This may be an ending to my reviewing days, but who the hell cares? I saw some good shows, so I think I'm ahead of the game.

In any case, today I am a little busy. Going to walk to the post office, then the library, then back here. Then, driving to my computer and hopefully recording my monolougues today, to send them off to St. Louis for that shakespeare shit that they're doing. It's been hard for me lately, seeing many of my friends getting cast or in the very least getting called into places. Would it take them too much to just have me come in? I don't really even need to be in the show (but that would be nice), just some opportunity, people?! Is that too much to ask?! In any case, I've been sending out my stuff to theatres, so hopefully that'll pay off in the long run... and if not, I'll keep on bugging theatres, and they'll keep on saying they can't come out and see these shows, even though they say "oh yeah, tell us when you're in a show!" Some help that is. However, you could argue that it is just showing them that I do get cast, and if I keep on reminding them of that fact, the simple fact that I am a working actor.

Bleh. I'm worried about the magazine. But whatever. If they give me an ultimatum, it's simple - I have paying work that I can't pass up. And really, I can't afford to go into the city and see a show I didn't really want to see in the first place.

Friday, September 19, 2008

This Post Turned Into Something I Dislike

I worked it out. If my check doesn't come tomorrow... or today for some stupid reason, the next time I'd probably get an answer would be on Tuesday. I hate this. I mean, I like the money from the government, the money that I rightfully deserve because I'm awesome. Anyway, I can probably make it through the weekend and survive. Almost. I'll have to really think about it, but that's what happens when you're as lazy and spend as much money as I do.

Other than that, I'm getting through the last season of Kim Possible. And then possibly (ha!) start them over again; it's such a really cool show. Too bad the video games are lacking, but that's usually the problem with video game spinoffs of things like movies or television or burger franchises.

Also had to go to the unemployment place today and have a job searching class. There was a neat little workshop that they advertised on the "Hidden Job Market" talking about how only 20% of job openings are advertised, and just about 80% of the people who need jobs are going after that... and there's blah blah blah too many people going after the jobs that are posted, but this huge amount of stuff goes unseen. I may take it, but then again, I may just start calling some places around here and inquiring about open jobs, talking to people with informational interviews and shit.

So anyway. This fucking post turned into something about job searching. What's up with that?

To break the ice, I'll say that this new Gilette Fusion razor is off the fucking hook. More blades equals more awesomeness. Also, I'm excited about going to do the show tonight, and that I've done some good marketing of myself over the past week. I do need to go over my lines though, and KP and blogger are certainly keeping me from this task, but meh, I'll just do it at the theatre. Also hopefully Beth will stop at some delicious fast food place so I can eat. I hate not eating, and it happens more and more lately. I know it's just stress, mostly from not having my check and not having a job, and just strangeness going on in my life right now. Anyway, tomorrow I'll work a little more on making some press packets to some places I've forgotten.

Got the review done, it's a good one. And today I looked at some of my old reviews, and gosh darned it, but I have a pretty good writing style sometimes. Others, well, let's just say it could have one more revision. And I'm still hungry. And this post is a little boring, now that I read this. Whatever, 's all good.

Oooh, Ron turned evil again! Gotta watch this pretty awesome fight scene.

No really, you can't make this shit up.

I called the unemployment office today to why my check was so late. After an amazingly circular voicemail system where I needed to set up a pin, include my social security number, and kill the child of the Third Born Demon DELORAX, I found that my check was mailed on September 9th. Glancing down at my screen, it says today's date is September 19th. Not a good sign. Pressing 0, I waited for a cheerful helper. I was greeted with a fast talking mumbler.

Welcome to the unemployment office how can I help you.

I have a problem with my latest check; I've never received it.

socialsecurity number, address, name, phone number, and the soul of the demonspawn's child.

Here ya go.

okay, it says here yourcheck was sent on september 9th.

Yes, I checked that in the automated voice system, and I know if it hasn't come in 10 days, I should call.

you should call aftertoday. if it doesn't come todaythen you shouldcall.

Well, are they mailed from California? I mean, a letter only takes so long to trave--

Of coursethey're mailed from california! This is the california unemployment office, we don't outsource to anywhere--

I understand that, but 10 days is a long itme for a letter to be circling in the --

We don't outsource anywhere so if the check doesn't come today youshould call.

- Insert another minute or two of this circular argument.-

Eventually, I gave up; she wasn't budging, and I couldn't wrap my mind around her not even thinking that 10 days just in California could be a long time. But really, you can't make this shit up.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Change In Me

Several things I need to accomplish today:
  1. Write the review for The Full Monty. Micro review: wicked awesome.
  2. Call unemployment about check that's a few days late.
  3. Profit.
  4. Probably take a shower.
I'm going to try and write some of the review on google docs; I used the site before when I was working on my UNLV paper. Gosh, that was actually a pretty good paper, now that I'm looking back at it. In retrospect though, it needs a little work on it, and that's what I've been doing for the past 20 minutes. Fixing some issues, changing some sentence structure. You know, the usual thing that I would have done if the paper wasn't do that very same day. Ahh college.

Sometimes it's easy to forget how fun it is to warm up one's fingers in the morning before some writing needs to be done. Stealing a page from Neil, warming up in the morning with some typing, hopefully saying something profound, and then leaving, to write some masterful material! For me, it's just semi masterful I should say. Masteresque.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Exercise Log plus other

Huge walk from San Anselmo to San Rafael today, and before that some crunches and shit. I'm getting skinny, and I'm proud of myself. Now to just stop eating everything in my sight.

As usual, my life has been on repeat. Lately I've been very disgruntled with my friends' success in pretty much everything. I have one friend successful in everything, I think. Examples: Drew - Music, Jayne - Acting, Monica - Job of her dreams. I am happy for my friends, for sure! And honestly, I'm not a super musician or historian like two of the three, but goddamn if I'm a good actor, and a pretty spiffy singer. Things will turn around, especially with Drew's meetings with some pretty awesome companies around here, to bring Crazy to the Bay Area again next year, with really great companies. Hello Original Cast! Oh please please please. WOOooooOooo.

Stepped up the publicity for myself as well. I've been actually calling places to get jobs/acting work, rather than sending my resume and such into the wild blue yonder, and hoping things get better. Being proactive is the key. Especially since my unemployment check hasn't reared its beautiful head lately. I figure they don't really rush those out to help their citizens with troubles that might be going on in their lives. With that in mind, back to phone calls.

Friday, September 12, 2008 is a geneaology site. Did I spell that right?

My editor at EDGE is giving me some shit about rescheduling and not being able to get to the person on time to cancel my tickets for the show in the nastiest part of San Francisco the other night. I kindly reminded him that my schedule is full, and hinted at the fact that I do this for free. The attitude may come from a bad day or whatever, but I have a feeling he doesn't realize that since I'm doing this as a volunteer, he needs to realize that I'm not at his beck and call. And even if he paid me, it still is common human decency to help people out when they're not feeling well. Honestly though, if he was paying me, it would be slightly different since, you know, we all need money.

No, this isn't going for another rant about how I wish I had a job (because I do) or how I need some money (yeah, need that to), but I just want to document that it's still going on in my life. I'm trying every day, around 20 applications a day, with cover letters roughly tailored for what their looking for; I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel every time, ya know. The tough shit is that I'm trying really hard, and nothing's coming from it. My mom says that looking for a job is a full time job, which honestly is what I'm doing. Today I'm starting some follow up calls at some places I'm really interested in; maybe it's just been busy for them.. every single one of them... So as of right now, every entry on craigslist is the purple "already looked" at, instead of the fresh blue "this might be it" entry. Mocking me. Fuck you craigslist.

As I was writing that last paragraph, the commercial for the digital television transfer that's happening next February came on. I've been seeing these commercials for about 5 months now, as well as news stories, articles in the New York Times and the Chronicle, and shit tons of other places. It's simply odd to me how people focus on this, rather than things that may be important, like, oh say, health care troubles, the war, education troubles, or anything that matters in this country. Literally anything matters more than television. Literally. My jaw literally hit the floor.

I'm still wearing the purple shirt. I guess my walk, sweaty as I might have been, didn't dissuade me from wearing it again. Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to wear my vest to the event. Hopefully it'll be pretty fun, especially for a vested handsome man like myself.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

You put the Ego in Incogneto.

Jeffrey, our producer, is well deserving of the receiving end of a punch to the nuts. This has been in my thoughts lately, specifically when he gives strange instructions to our cast and adds shows when there wasn't any scheduled. This has caused me to behave in a, how shall we put it... not as nice manner when it comes to interactions with him. For example, on stage the other night, I added a line, "try to stop me!" when he cut a line of mine. It was funny at the time, but when later in the show I snapped my fingers as if to encourage him to go a little bit faster. My conscious has been feeling a little bad about this.

However, upon further thought, I realize that nothing so far has been able to change Jeffrey and his hideous acting (or lack thereof). Hector himself wasn't able to get through to him, and there was 4 weeks of rehearsal of him to try and get his shit together. I doubt it's really possible, honestly. The best we can do is continue to do our best, and continue to have fun with he parts we have, and try to ignore the shit that's around us.

In some cool news, David is directing a show at COM, and I'm in it! It's only a one act, so there's not much to remember, but it'll be fun to do, and I'll get to do another play in the meantime, a brand new one, originating two roles, cool! I'm a fan of bragging about myself when I originate a role, even if it isn't in a professional capacity. Anywho, it'll be fun, and apparently Carla, his mentor on this project, is really cool, and is a good friend and one of Monica's favorite professors. Also, COM isn't a bad place to work; their theatre is pretty badass.

Also! ALSO! I totally got a beta pass to Mines of Moria! It's downloading as we speak! Fifteen more hours!! Jesus. I bet it's totally worth it, but in the meantime, I really can't play any other game that involves online play; it would be epicly slow from the download. And I was going to have some real lotro gameplay today, AND I can't really play Spore because that's on the Mac side. So it's back to Kim Possible. Woot! Although I'm sure I can do a little bit of Half-Life 2 or Portal. Whatever.

It was also a fun evening last night: Monica and I had some quality time (no innuendo), and I worked on my marketing packets for myself. Included were some hand written cards, a flier for Midsummer, the review that called me "tremendous," and headshots and resumes. Pretty excellent packet, if I may say so. Sent off to 11 places, and I was able to get a walk to the post office and mail them, and walk to the library and return those overdue books. This, of course, was after I started over; I had been way too lax with that in these weeks.

Monica's event is coming up. I'm excited for it to be done. Then she'll be full time at her new job, closer to home, and definitely with a better attitude! This is not to say that she wasn't happy last night, but it just seemed like an oasis in the middle of a horrible, nasty, huge desert full of unsupportive people.

Anywho, I'm wearing a purple shirt.

Thursday, September 4, 2008


Kim Possible makes me happy. The writing is amazing. Voice acting is amazing. This is what made me want to become a voice actor, particularly because there's more than just the same three voices you hear in cartoons now a days. Well, except for Patrick Walburton, but then again, he's amazing, and fits into those parts. And if he really wanted to do something different, I'm sure he would, but if I had a talent like that, I'd stick with it as much as I could.

Other than the short vacation to northern northern California, it's been mostly the same. Walking, Uke, looking for jobs. Surprisingly less work on my video gaming lately. I still love my games, it's just that I've been not in the mood for anything more than watching some Kim and do some Uke.

One other thing that I've been stressing and then not is my horrific dropping of the iPhone as we were going through the Drive Through Tree. There is a huge disfiguring scar on the glass of my beautiful precious. It did put me in a cranky mood for a while, but for some reason am now charmed by it. Mostly since my phone still works perfectly, and no glass has gone into my face. Yet. Can't wait for that.

With my latest unemployment, I recieved an Appointment Notice. I'm supposed to go to an Initial Assistance Workshop in a couple of weeks. Here's to hoping that I actually get another job before I have to go to this thing. However, it might be useful anyway; they're programs set up for the ever growing unemployed.

Der. What else? Filming tomorrow. This script is not getting into my brain. And the parts that ARE in my brain are really stupid. What the hell did I get into? Sigh. The problem with these writers is that they don't understand what actually is interesting and what isn't. No one cares about these people! There's no conflict, and when there is conflict... who the fuck cares? Ugh. I'm just frustrated. He's been incredibly nice about the whole thing, including shit like meals and such. But you know the problem? The problem that gives me pause is that I'm not being paid, and I have a feeling this will never be picked up, because of the aforementioned doesn't matter-ness. However, if it does get picked up, I'll just make sure to learn my lines more than just the day before.

Anyway, going to watch more Kim. Oh, and if you see Monica, tell her I love her, and that she's going to be fine, and she'll be through this shit soon.