Spilled water and Auditions

As devotees of the blog may note, I have had many troubles with Earthlink. Nothing whatsoever has been resolved, but now whenever a page is loading too long, or the bar at the lower bottom of Firefox isn't moving, my breath becomes short, tears well up, and a lump appears in my throat.* It happens a lot.

Not much going on in Ben news of late. Tim spilled water on my keyboard (boo) so it gave me an excuse to go out and get a new one (yay) from Best Buy. My thought on the matter was that the Apple keyboard would be the most expensive one there; pretty logical, right? Walking past, neglecting the helpfulness of the genius bar, oh sorry, apple technicians, I saw that the (very thin for) $50 keyboard was beautiful as it was available to buy. Just for shits, I went around searching to see what the normal population uses as their keyboard. The non Mac fools.

Turns out, $50 was one of the lowest prices out there, with "gamer" boards all over the place going for 70 bucks or more. Certainly there were some average keyboards, but honestly, for 20 bucks more I can have a wafer thin beauty that is slightly obnoxious to try and type on, but still so beautiful I don't care.

Really though, it's easy enough to type on. See? No typos.

Because I love me some technology, I almost bought another external hard drive that would connect with my Firewire port (firewire on my computer is slightly faster than usb 2.0), because I have an extra port there, and am all out of usb ports. I stopped myself because:

• I have space remaining on my current external drive.
• I don't have the money for a Terrabite drive.
• I don't have stuff to put on it.

So I guess I'm going to have to wait for more media to fall off a truck onto my computer.

---

Audition for Theatreworks tonight, followed by a Callback for Last night at Ballyhoo. Excited about both. Especially because if I don't get Ballyhoo, I can still stage manage Dot's new show, Lead. So it'll be a busy first part of the year, up through Wildcat.

Typing it all out like that makes me feel I've been doing a little better than I thought when it comes to my acting career.

*this is a lie

You put the Ego in Incogneto.

Jeffrey, our producer, is well deserving of the receiving end of a punch to the nuts. This has been in my thoughts lately, specifically when he gives strange instructions to our cast and adds shows when there wasn't any scheduled. This has caused me to behave in a, how shall we put it... not as nice manner when it comes to interactions with him. For example, on stage the other night, I added a line, "try to stop me!" when he cut a line of mine. It was funny at the time, but when later in the show I snapped my fingers as if to encourage him to go a little bit faster. My conscious has been feeling a little bad about this.

However, upon further thought, I realize that nothing so far has been able to change Jeffrey and his hideous acting (or lack thereof). Hector himself wasn't able to get through to him, and there was 4 weeks of rehearsal of him to try and get his shit together. I doubt it's really possible, honestly. The best we can do is continue to do our best, and continue to have fun with he parts we have, and try to ignore the shit that's around us.

In some cool news, David is directing a show at COM, and I'm in it! It's only a one act, so there's not much to remember, but it'll be fun to do, and I'll get to do another play in the meantime, a brand new one, originating two roles, cool! I'm a fan of bragging about myself when I originate a role, even if it isn't in a professional capacity. Anywho, it'll be fun, and apparently Carla, his mentor on this project, is really cool, and is a good friend and one of Monica's favorite professors. Also, COM isn't a bad place to work; their theatre is pretty badass.

Also! ALSO! I totally got a beta pass to Mines of Moria! It's downloading as we speak! Fifteen more hours!! Jesus. I bet it's totally worth it, but in the meantime, I really can't play any other game that involves online play; it would be epicly slow from the download. And I was going to have some real lotro gameplay today, AND I can't really play Spore because that's on the Mac side. So it's back to Kim Possible. Woot! Although I'm sure I can do a little bit of Half-Life 2 or Portal. Whatever.

It was also a fun evening last night: Monica and I had some quality time (no innuendo), and I worked on my marketing packets for myself. Included were some hand written cards, a flier for Midsummer, the review that called me "tremendous," and headshots and resumes. Pretty excellent packet, if I may say so. Sent off to 11 places, and I was able to get a walk to the post office and mail them, and walk to the library and return those overdue books. This, of course, was after I started over hundredpushups.com; I had been way too lax with that in these weeks.

Monica's event is coming up. I'm excited for it to be done. Then she'll be full time at her new job, closer to home, and definitely with a better attitude! This is not to say that she wasn't happy last night, but it just seemed like an oasis in the middle of a horrible, nasty, huge desert full of unsupportive people.

Anywho, I'm wearing a purple shirt.

Stuck on Repeat

Repeat lately. Jobs, exercise, reading, jobs, gaming, Monica. Those have been my days lately, and except for the odd job interview or the shows to keep me busy, that's been it. Fucking economy. It's not like I want a job, and it's not like I'm not trying, it's just that things are not falling into place. Plus, the unemployment hasn't kicked in yet... so yeah. When that starts up, I'll be a little less hideously scared about what's going to happen next in my life. Until then, I'll keep up the cycle. (4 jobs applied for so far.)

CSI's on in the background, and it's the dominatrix one; so tired of this one. Yes, she's hot, and yes she's powerful and blah blah blah. But I'm tired of her overacting. It worked the first time, but it makes me bored every time afterwords. And my feet are cold. Also there's a lot of overacting going on in this show.

So yes. Nothing new going on. Not even any new auditions really. Not that I haven't been looking for those as well. It's just. Stagnant now. Here comes that word again. I worry when I start tinking of that word.

Events! Or, Whatever Happened to Sarcasm?

Hi folks. The past days have been pretty cool. Monday evening mom helped me out with my interview etiquette (specifically for my interview on Tuesday for AEA, but the tips were great in general). It was lovely to spend some time with my mom. I miss her a lot. It also made me realize how messy my room was. Funny how that works; we only realize how messy it is until other people come into our lives. Not that she cared.. it's just awkward at times.

Also on Monday - did I mention this already? - Leah told me that my last day would be July 31st. Our new person, Elaine would be starting on Tuesday. It shook me up a little, but I know I'm going to find a new soul sucking job sometime soon. I just have to keep putting my energy out there and look for something new. Besides, I have some resumes in the works, and hopefully Good Earth will call me any time now... *begins quiet sobbing*. I think I need to call them today and remind them that I'm interested; that's a good thing right? When someone kindly asks about a job, the worst thing they can say is no.

Until July 31. I wonder if they thought I'd be productive with the knowledge of when I leave. The answer is I will still be as productive as I've ever been. And now to load some Puzzle Pirates. Seriously though, there's some filing to do, and stuff that has needed to be done for a while, because there wasn't a second person here. Oh right, that thing, the fact that we need more than 1 person running the front office; that little gem. If they need a third person, I'm going to try and make sure that I have another job if they try and offer me my old job back.

I'm also still debating whether or not I should quit my job in this time, or have them do the lay off. I'll talk to Leah about this sometime this week to see what the status would be here. Shit, I sound like a real grown up person.

Tuesday I met Elaine. My replacement. It's an odd relationship. On one hand, I'm giving her some training, which is helping me with my "I can train people" skills. On the other, she's my replacement. On the other, she's kind of a dipshit. It's really strange. She's better than some people for certain, and maybe it's just a learning curve. But I was a little better than this when I first started. Nervous and chatty yes, but then again, I'm 20 years younger than she is, and infinitely more confident. Maybe it's the theatreblood that runs through my veins. We trained a bit on filing, phones, email, etc. The normal shit. She confessed to me that she's not very good with computers. Terrific. Had an encounter with Short Man Syndrome, and he reiterated some Important Information that he Commanded yesterday. How fun.

Leaving at 2:30, I was full of glee and nervousness myself; I had my phone interview with AEA at 3:30. I got home, dressed nicely (for I am one to use psychology in this situation) and sat down to go over my notes. At EXACTLY 3:30, I called, and proceeded to have an amazing interview for the next hour. It would be a good job for me. It would be a life changing job though, and I'd have to give up theatre if have it; too much travel. Sounds counterintuitive to move to LA and work with the union to not be able to act. It's not like I've accepted it; if they want me, I'll definitely think about it before saying no.

Monica and I had Macho Burritos for dinner, and I've just now digested mine. It sure hit the spot for TWELVE HOURS. Of course, now I'm hungry again. It was good to see her at a point when we weren't either asleep or frantically trying to kill a rat. By the way, we have rats.

Yesterday evening was the opening night of Mountian Days! Woohoo! I knew most of the words, and didn't fuck up as much as I thought I would. It is a good show, and more importantly, it'll help me more to be in with the Willows - equity card anyone? It's only a 3 show run - very good - and I've made some fun friends, as well as just now realizing there's a cool party this Friday after the show! Hello talking to people and drinking! This'll be a blast.

(bleh, speaking of drinking, this coffee is way too strong.)

This morning was more of the same working with Elaine. She's smarter than the average bear, but not as intuitive as I am. It takes a few times for her to get something down, but once she gets it, it looks like she gets it. That's good, but still annoying in the learning process. My hope is that once she learns everything, she'll truly understand it, and maybe the fury of the ages that this person is getting paid more than me will cease.

Tonight is more Mountain Days, a thank you note to AEA, and probably some Team Fortress 2 beforehand. The day itself will be full of boredom. Hurray.

Artificial Sunsets Make Me Sleepy

Now I get what the fires are doing to the light: they're making the entire day look like it's sunset, which is seriously messing with my vibes. Maybe THAT'S why I've been exceedingly tired all week; it's just the weather making me thing it's perpetually time to watch some television, play some games, and go to bed. For that matter, maybe that's why I've been wanting to just watch television, play games, and go to bed all week, instead of everything else that's on my plate. Nevertheless, it's beautiful to watch the distilled sunlight filter through the trees and see the orange glow on the ground here. Beauty keeps me distracted from the ever battering of my soul.. and here comes one of the soul suckers now! Oh goofus, how hilarious (sarcasm) are.

---

I am exceedingly happy I didn't go to rehearsal last night. I don't think I've ever felt that way before. Yes, there's work that needs to be done, but I as sure as hell can get there tonight and I'll certainly work my ass off. It was funny though, rather than play video games or anything like that, I simply read all night. I probably can't say I'm a gamer anymore, if when given a chance I would turn to books (comic or otherwise) over video games.

Maybe it's because deep down inside I'm kind of afraid of Team Fortress 2. I mean, I've only played it a little bit, and had my ass handed to me. But... why should I be afraid of it? I think I'm mostly afraid of the stupid people online, and the fact that I don't have any friends to play it with, and the slow realization that my friends with 360's are unable to play with me on the PC version of it. Sigh. Oh well, that's what new friends are for! Or new enemies, when they explode my face. Shrug. I still haven't finished Half Life 2, now that I think of it. Or BioShock. Or any game I've tried to play in the past 6 months. Goddamn theatre.

---

I'm smelly. I haven't taken a shower in a couple of days - no time really, and Monica's bathroom isn't conducive to people of Ben size. What I really need is to just have some time to not do anything, I had a taste of that last night, and I want more more more. I'll have a couple of days after Muir Fest is over, but then we start right into Midsummer, and I should have those fucking lines down shortly thereafter.

Speaking of thereafter, haven't got a call from 42nd Street Moon. Granted, their show is much later in the season, but I would love to start to assemble my schedule for after Midsummer. Either that, or they don't want me. Which is completely fine with me; I'm used to rejection, but I know if I'm ever a casting director or an artistic director, I'll send at the very least a email to all the rejected people saying the standard we can't use you right now or whatever the fuck they say to be nice. Truthfully, it is nice, and we can get on with our lives, as well as it actually, most of the time, being the truth; there are only so many parts and much more actors. It just wouldn't kill them to throw me in the mix every once in a while. I'm talking to you every theatre out there. Oddly enough, I'm still pretty positive.

I think Oddly might be a good name for a character in Age of Conan. Or some other roleplaying game. Ooooh, even better in D&D, an illusionist or something... cool. Well, maybe my mind isn't completely gone from gaming.

Mail time. I'll be back later.

I really sometimes have to stop just bitching about my job all the time but it is pretty bad.

I know, I know. Stop bitching about work. It takes over my life though. It really does. I want to stop bitching, but when the bulk of your life is something boring and unbearable, it's hard to think about anything else. And I have to stop complaining that it's only 10 and I've only been here for 2 hours. Can you believe that? Only 2 hours. How the fuck have I kept doing this throughout the past year and a half without burning my face (or others') off? Money, probably. But without the time to have fun with the money, what is the point? AGH.

Okay. Must amuse self. I wonder if I could bring LOTRO here in the days... oh man. That might actually be tempting. Maybe that's a lunch trip.

So anyway. My morning has been composed of applying for new jobs, and recently I thought to myself how I really wanted to Get The Fuck Out Of Here, and then I thought... well why not look for jobs in other cities... which is where I found http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/npo/727069623.html. Which made me happy, and am applying for it as we speak. It would mean that I would need to move to LA (oh gosh darn) and work in theatre full time (man, oh man), but it's a sacrifice I would be able to make.

Done. Applied. Very good cover letter, if I must say so (thanks, Monica! You helped a lot!)

What else? I'm a little gassy today, so this is one of the rare times that I'm glad I'm the only one at the front office; whew! Awkwardness abounds!

Wow, I'm really soul sucked today. Nothing much else to say about it really... um. Yeah.

Rocky Margarita

Just had a little dip in the pool with a VERY strong margarita in hand. Not in the pool, just on the side, where I needed it. Nice swim; WAY WAY too hot here today, and I thought I was better, living in the gauntlet that is Missouri. Blah, whatever. It's just the laptop that's keeping me really warm now... time to move to the floor...

Ahh. Much better under the fan. So anyway, Smash Mouth last night was pretty amazing. They seemed like they were coasting through their show, but after all, it is just Petaluma, so I don't blame them. It was still good, and they did some great numbers, including a Van Halen song. Who knew? The rest of the fair was kinda stupid, but we did get to have some delicious/disgusting fair food... yum!

This morning we got up INCREDIBLY early to go to Bubba's and have breakfast with Meal Club. Everyone was really tired, but it made me happy that they got up to basically help with our schedule of having to go to an audition later in the morning. I love my friends. They're really good people, and I'm planning to keep in touch with Keith when he moves to Boston. And Drew, but for some reason I don't think he's actually going to move... but maybe he is... meh whatevs.

AND! Rocky auditions went amazingly well! I wouldn't be surprised if they offered me Eddie like... right now *stares at phone*.. okay, we can wait for a bit. Both Monica and I auditioned incredibly well; she blew everyone out of the water with her song, and did a really good job with her monologue - she was given a hard one too! Right on Monica! I really want to do that show.

As for the rest of the day, I might head over and play some video games... or more likely go sit on the porch and study my lines in a little bit. That would be the smart thing to do... sigh... poor LOTRO, sitting there patiently...

Mostly Random

Again, more odd energy at work. These past few days have been very strange: people walking around my desk, and staying for long periods of time, not talking to me, just talking to each other or reading the paper or simply staring into space, weird fluxes of work that are so easy I want to punch someone in the face, yet they still talk to Leah first, as if I've never done anything like this before.

Also, much like the tool I am, I received my headset today for this godawful phone system. The headset is sub par, but it does release me from having to crane my neck all day. Happy about that, not so much happy about it being a dumb device. So that's contributing to MY weird energy. Bleh. I'll just be much happier once this day is over and I'm onto my audition and gaming tonight. Bad mood though, I'm almost not even looking forward to tonight, and that's almost blasphemy in my book.

Nothing much else to report. I might try and go for a walk today, but then I might just try and work on lines in the car, get that scene solid, and get my mind off of everything. I also might go buy Age of Conan, to get that over with. But when I start calling games "getting over with", I might need to reconsider whether or not I want to buy it in the first place. Whatever, I'll figure it out, and get it if I get it, don't if I don't. It's not a big deal right now.

I've been really strangely worried about these lines. I know I haven't even started rehearsal yet, but the lines themselves are numerous, duh it's the best part in the show, and it's been a long time since I've had to carry a show, let alone a Shakespeare piece. So I'm stressing out about it a little early, but I'll make sure to have them down, or at least familiar with them, as the rehearsals start. That way, it'll be easy to pick up everything else. Guess I decided what I'm going to do during my lunch. Let's get that first scene down.

Plague

It seems like a plague has swept the shores of Saint Anselm. Monica was floored by it, and now your hero seems to have it. An achey body, sore throat, sniffles... it might be a full blown cold. This is acceptable for the most part, but I enjoy being off work and NOT sick, simply saying that I am. It will be a sad day if tomorrow I'm floored at home, unhappy, and not reading comics or playing games. Sigh.

Although, it would be nice if I went and bought Lego Indiana Jones and/or Conan today at lunch... hm...

I got an email back from ACT, they were interested in me until I mentioned that I had no archival stuff of my carpentry work. Admittedly, I need more practice with building and painting sets, but wouldn't that come with the job? Wouldn't the trial by fire force me to become better? Quite possibly, but when they could find someone with the skills already there, I can see that appeal. They did put me on their overhire lists, so maybe I can get some training that way; I told them I wasn't completely oblivious to building sets, and if I can get work like that, hourly shit, I can build my skills.

Also, it might be time to start just volunteering to help build stuff at community theatres around here - the more stuff on my resume, the more documentation, and the more likely I'll be able to get a full time job in theatre. I could also volunteer for the Pirate Fest coming up, building stuff.

It's so weird. I thought that being a tech position was different, more apprentice oriented. Sure, I'd not know much, but as the months went by, I could get a handle of the skills and eventually gain more and more responsibility. Maybe that is how it really is handled, and for this position specifically they wanted someone with more experience. Who knows. At least I'm putting it out there; no use lying about my skills, and I wouldn't want to be in a job that was completely out of my league. So here's to overhire! And here's to continuing to put it out there!

Speaking of putting it out there, since I've seen Kai, we've been keeping in better touch, and he recommended me for a reading tonight. I read the script; it's pretty good! I betcha I'll have a fun time, even with the plague.

More goodness to come, but I just need to go take a nap in the car now.

A few days of busy

Finally calming down here a little bit; Leah's getting back from her trip today, temp's gone, just watched an episode of Jack of all Trades on hulu.com... life is okay right now. Yesterday, I'm very certain she fucked something up, but I'm okay with living that I'll have to deal with that sometime today, just so that right now is calm and cool, and that when Leah comes in, I can go and get something to eat.

So! Lots of stuff has happened since I was last around. My weekend was full of plays, and my days were full of gaming; went through I guess more than half of Half Life 2, got my ass kicked in Team Fortress 2, and beat Portal again - not to mention the LOTRO playing I was able to do! It was a good gaming weekend. The only reason it wasn't the Best Weekend Evar is because Monica was out of town for the parts I mostly had free; Karey and Nick were married this weekend in Vegas! So sad I couldn't go, but tremendously happy for them now that they're together and had a rockin' time. I love Vegas, and was immediately jealous and frustrated that I couldn't go, but was happy that Monica had a great time there! Apparently we're going back soon :D

What else... I went to see Jacques Brel is Alive and Well and Living in Paris on Tuesday. It was a good show, not terrific, but then again, I'm not a fan of revues and this one held my attention, so that's good. The best part of the evening, however, was getting Kai to go! I haven't seen him in 2 years! And he went! And we picked up where we left off in our friendship like we had never left. It was awesome. Plus he new the director, so I was able to meet him and say how the show made a revue almost lover out of me. Not as crass as that, but you know. Saw some friends there that night as well; I think they liked it better than I did, but as I said, I'm not a super big fan of the genre.

SO! Nothing much else to report, just been slugging along. I have an audition on Monday that I'm learning a new piece for - something Cassidy gave me. It's very good, but I don't have it down yet; I'll work on it at lunch fo shizzie.

And. That's. It.

After My Man Made Weekend

Tuesday and Wednesday were nice. I really needed the rest; one never knows how much one needs sleep until it attacks us violently and says, "Hey, you're going to bed, asshole." Unfortunately, Tuesday I had to get up early to go to the Academy of Art and do a scene I hadn't studied for 4 weeks, or had rehearsed at all, for I had thought the director had fallen of the face of the earth; so incommunicative had he been. It turns out he was in the hospital, so I wasn't that upset, and obviously he needed to get the scene done for his grade... but still, it was annoying, especially how he got a little annoyed when we didn't have our lines down. He's just in a tough place, and I won't hold it against him. I will, however, do less projects there; I'm just not up to missing that much work for so little to do. Such is life! I wish I didn't have to work a full time job and do my art as a hobby, but that's how it is, and that's how I have to live it for now. (Just in case, I hope that wish really does come true and I get a full time acting gig sometime soon.


After the Academy, had a very nice time with Monica - it's rare that we both have time off now a days - and it was nice. Good lunch too, but I think I'm just thinking about lunch right now because my stomach rumbled. It's a walk to panda for me today, I think! Later that evening, I rode with Tim to the second preview, and it was an okay show. After the reaction from the first night, they cut the orderly scene at the end (thank god) but we still had to endure another tedious "Q&A" at the end of the night, where they never have any questions for the cast, only the director, all the questions are stupid, and oh yes, the director pushes them to ask questions, so these people who wouldn't know theatre if it came up, tapped it on the shoulder, gave it helpful suggestions to get to the local grocery store, and then hit them in the face, are giving us suggestions. We, who (mostly) have gone to school for years to work on our art, are being given advice. Brilliant. Since I'm not going to go into the show any more, last night's performance was kinda stupid too. Well, one more: we're having a brush up rehearsal tomorrow (for what reason, I have no idea), and I can't make it. So that's on my mind; I have to talk to the stage manager at lunch and tell them I can't miss any more work than I'm already going to with the matinée performances coming up in the next few weeks.


Anyway. Bonny's leaving tomorrow. I'm going to miss her here, as said before, because she's just so chill. What a good person to have as a coworker. Plus, having her here meant she did all the shit I didn't want to do, and I did all the really complex stuff that took up a lot of time, all in all, it made the days go by pretty quickly (as quick as a weird soul sucking job can go) and we had a good time chatting or just spacing out doing absolutely nothing for the hours upon hours that this job has nothing to do.

Hehe, just got distracted by Grow Cube. What a cute game that is.

Yesterday I slept. For so long. It was amazing. I woke up, drove home, and went back to sleep. Oh man. How much fun that was, I can't even imagine. I needed it. And then I played LOTRO for HOURS. I deleted my old character (Hobbit Minstrel) and made a new one with the same name (Hobbit Hunter) and started over; it had been too long and I couldn't easily jump back in at the same level as my last one. I just have to say, I love being a hobbit. What a wonderful world they've created - I can't wait to try out the bigger places and find a fellowship and rock all that out. I need to make more time in my life for gaming.

Plan for lunch: No walk today (been really lax lately), I need to eat, then call Jamie. Those, at the moment, are more important; I wouldn't want to leave them hanging tomorrow, so soon as possible!

Plan for afternoon: Survive, one day at a time!

SHH DON'T TELL PLZ!

I've installed Firefox at work. SHH. I'm using it right now to type this. I can't believe I was using IE all this time to do work, when (yes, we all know) Firefox is the superior browser. I don't know why everyone hasn't switched to this wonder of wonders. Geez, even the most barebones thing about Firefox is so much better than IE. TABS! For gods' sake, think of the wonderfulness that is tabs! Wow, I don't mean to sound like a dork, but I actually let out a sigh of relief when I started it up and booted up some bookmarks in tome tabs up there. They're waiting patiently for me, up there, sitting quietly and loving me all the same.

Plus, the only way to play PMOG is through Firefox, so that just took the cake. (It's a good game so far, but I wouldn't really call it a game, just an informational site masquerading as a game. It harnesses the power of the users of the internet to show off what they know and gathering information. It's more like a wiki than anything else. But it's a wiki where you gain experience points, so that's all good. I don't know if I like it yet, but it may grow on me. After all the faux Victorian shit is pretty excellent.)

Ahh, even when I spell words wrong Firefox puts small red lines underneath, as if to say, "Good sir, this is a word unrecognized to me, please, make sure you want to write this!" I love it. I wish I could give it some cake. First of all, I wished I had some cake.

Anyway.

I'm still here. Monica came up with a great idea of me making it through my day (or at least till 4:30; my revised plan) and that I would take the next two days as sick days. Why two do you ask? Well, tomorrow's the film for the Academy of Art (of which the director got back to me after being out of commission for TWO WEEKS) and the next day is the matinée of Campobello. So might as well take the whole day off, hm? I thought so. I'm glad you agree with me, Zigfried. He's such a good butler, and bring me another mimosa.

Just got into a pseudofight. I don't like that, and I don't like having my opinions and ideas being thrown aside like they're nothing. Oh internet, you're my only friend; I really hate people sometimes. Books are good too, I guess. Oh yeah, and gaming. Oh yeah, and... lots of other stuff. But people, not them. Fuck people.

Almost done. 27 minutes left... then a night of horror. OR FUN!

Probably horror.

Indie

Lately I've been getting into indie games. Mostly because I haven't been home to play any of the big ones I have (Portal, BioShock, Persona, etc.) and because indie games eat up less memory, and often are browser based, so I can just do them at work with no install necessary. It helps keep me sane.

These are my favorites:

1. Urban Dead: This game fills any zombie lover's heart with joy; it's a low tech, massive multiplayer survival horror game! You can play on either side of the fight, trying to live and fight the ever increasing hoarde. Alternatively, you can suck brains. And at any point you can switch sides! Incredible. Here's the creator's site.
2. My Heroes Ability: Yes, it's a facebook app, and yes, you have to log into facebook, but if you're not against the weird social networking site, this game is pretty fun, especially if you're a fan of the show. The game itself takes (lots) of liberties; it is hardly a nuanced form of gameplay, and the free for all areas are often full of bots. What they get out of the game, who knows? Still, if one has a good group of friends, it's a good way to kill time.
3. Samorost: Actually, this is Samorost 2, but either game can be played first; I started with the second, so naturally I gravitate there. All the environments and characters are hand drawn in this puzzle and rescue game. Excellent design.
4. Passage: Not browser based, but one of the most excellent games out there. A very simple story; touching and beautiful. Simple graphics, simple music, it invokes something much deeper than the sum of its parts.
5. The Kingdom Of Loathing: I think I have a type; very simple graphics and design with wonderful gameplay. Plus, you get to make an asshat out of two buns. What other game lets you do that?
6. Phoenix MUD: Remember MUDs, MOOs, MUSHs? This one started it all for me; they work on any computer, are filled with good people, and are free. If you like reading fantasy (you know, like in book form), this might be a good place to check out. There are bigger, more complex ones out there, but this will always have a special place in my heart.
7. Typeracer: Racing and typing. Typing to race. Oh man oh man. If I was an asshole teacher back in high school, I would totally use this software instead of Mavis Beacon.
8. Uh, Go And Find Your Own?: That's where I started, but there is an amazing amount of indie games out there, all to help you through your horrible workday.

---

All weekend was full of tech rehearsals for Sunrise at Campobello. I'm now convinced that this show is going to be an incredible horror. I've also learned something interesting: all the money that usually would go into a show like this is going into Evil Dead: The Musical; the next show on the agenda at the Willows. As I was bitching to Tim last night (we like bitching on the ride home before we get too tired to talk), they should have just done one good show instead of two medocre ones. The problem with what they've done is that they've split their focus; all their equity contracts have gone into Sunrise, and all the money's gone into Evil Dead. That's not to say non equity actors are bad (I'm one of them, of course), but if you're a theatre who offers equity contracts, it's more likely to get people who are in the field as a profession, rather than something they can afford to push to the side... like most the atrociousness in Sunrise.

That being said, I've made a few good friends and gotten to know some old ones better. There are some genuinely good people, and I really think it's the timing that's bad right now. Right before a show I was never excited about, I always get my crankiest, and take things too seriously when people say things normally. I'm tense right now, haven't slept in so long, and am trying unsuccessfully to make it through a workday. I need rest. I think it's this state that I'm in that makes me weary of going to a full fledged program for 3 years. Do I like theatre enough? Answer: Yes. Also, people like it if you have an MFA. So shut your pie hole. Mmm... I'm hungry.

Update: Check out PMOG. In fact, I might make this blog post a mission. Kisses!

Woohoo?

Never have I been so excited NOT to have been called back as I was listening to that Kaiser voicemail. The more I thought about the program, the more I became polarized. It was so cool to think that I might be a person who lived fully from the theatre (that really shouldn't be something I wish for with all the joy in my heart; it really should be there for anyone who wants to take it, but that'll just have to happen when I have my own country to run), but then I remembered how the auditions were, and stories from others about how it's a good experience, but a weird one. Lots of improv (gag). Whatever though. I have a feeling if they didn't have their fingers up their asses I would have liked it better and would have been more disappointed.

Telltale still hasn't got back to me; I'm going to call them tonight and leave a message for the guy who sent me an email. I would love to just be able to talk to him, even if something else has come up and they don't need anyone else anymore. Like I've stated many times before, I'm trying to play the game of keeping communications up as much as possible. I've also (gasp) actually branched out from craigslist when looking for jobs and such in this area and others. I've gone to websites of jobs and given them my resume saying things like "I love your work, I know you're not looking for a worker like me, but if you ever need an admin, I would love to work for a gaming company that makes such cool art like you do." You never know what might happen, and it's always good to get yourself out there.

No rehearsal tonight (yippie!) so I can catch up on watching last week's LOST before this week's LOST comes on. I've spent the entire week not reading my normal blogs because of that; everyone's been talking about this last episode and how wonderful it was, and as soon as I hear about Ben's Door I want to punch myself for continuing to read. Oh well, I will find out tonight! Woo! Also, I'll probably play some Sam and Max. And Vagrant Story. Hell, I'll probably even play Passage again. Someone please tell me why I do theatre again? Oh right, insatiable passion. Gotcha.

We'll Be Right Back

Heigh ho, and we are back. Yesterday for some odd reason felt like a weekend. The weekends that I've been experiencing recently have been very much like that, sweet, but brief, so yesterday seemed very much like one, even though I was pretty much busy all day.

The morning I had candy pancakes, which were delicious, and various other breakfasty goodness like bacon and fake eggs. It was delicious. Monica is obviously fattening me up to eat me, but until then, I'm okay with the eating of the stuff. It gave me energy for my Kaiser audition (you know, the one I scheduled in FEBRUARY), and I had to leave for that around noon, getting ready at 11; I hadn't taken a shower or shaved yet, so that was a priority. In the shower and the car, running my monologue, I felt more confidence flowing through my veins. Maybe it was the butterscotch and chocolate chips, but I knew I was going to do well today.

Skipping the boring drive and the searching for parking, the theatre beaconed to me, and I went through the doors about 30 minutes early from my scheduled audition time. Friendly atmosphere... too friendly, I thought. The assistants (I counted 10 different people) all wore larger-than-need-to-be headsets, communicating with each other frendily, but very important...ly. It was a strange experience, to say the least; sure they were efficent, but they seemed like they had no idea how theatre was actually run - with reckless abandon and haphazard scheduled times. Duh.

When it came time for my monologue, they walked me into a room so I could prepare. I prepared, running my monologue a few times, making it a little more dynamic, and then saw a sign above my head. "They will cut you off at 1 minute." "The Little Green Pig" was about 1 and 1/2 minutes long. 'S okay, I thought, they're gonna want to know what happens to The Little Green Pig. Nope. Cut off at not even a minute. My theory, they really didn't want me from the beginning, and they slipped a note to the timer saying "Time." with not quite an exclamation point, but not quite a period either. It was firm, decisive, they were ready for me to leave.

Now, I'm not reading into this really. I thought I did a good read, and had a pretty odd (but not unpleasant) experience at this place. It was a chance to work on my monologue, actually run it, and also to get a day off of work. Bonuses all around. What I think, however, is that they, like most grad programs, are not looking for talent, but types. Now now, I know. All theatre is looking for types. But even then, sometimes theatre makes an exception to the "rule" of types and casts someone that might be a little off type, if they are a good actor. I believe in that role. I believe, truly I do, that any person can play any role. With a little practice, they could play it well. It's a matter of honesty and believability. And when people (read: casting directors, directors, little stupid interns that don't know what they're doing) don't believe someone would do well in a part... well then in their eyes they never will.

In the other (better) news department, Telltale Games responded to my resume with a email saying that they'd like to talk to me about a GAME TESTER POSITION (!!!). That would be super spiffy, and of course would conflict with grad school. It's something to think about; I'm keeping mulitple options open. And it would be my other dream: Living fully through my LOVE OF VIDEO GAMES.

You know what I'm craving? A grapefruit.

At least.

The grind has finally wound its way through the cracks in my +3 Armor of Sarcasm and my +4 Cape of Indifference and made it to my soul. Now my soul is sucked, and I feel a change coming on. It's a small change at first, that just fills you with a mild dread, and then you succumb. This is how it begins; I'm really excited for Friday. Thank God It's Friday, even. I feel hideous for thinking that, why should I be happy? I have a very busy weekend ahead of me, and then another week of boredom after that. I've never been excited like this before. It makes me feel strange and different; a completely different person in a completely different world. I am lost at sea, and am afraid to fall into this office world.

But at least it's Friday.

I've scheduled a time to see Love Person over at MTC for my magazine. It's going to be pretty cool, I hope. If not, then it'll reinforce the concept of "THAT'S why I never get cast around here" concept that's been going through my head recently. (It's because everyone' s stupid, that's why, really.) I really hope it'll be good though, I like seeing good shows, and I like writing about good shows. Then again, I like being funny when I see bad shows... so it's all good. I think this will be a neat start to something new. I don't know if I could ever make a career out of it; but it certainly would be fun to do for a while, don't you think? I wonder who I'm talking to.

I hope I can get some video game action in during this weekend. I haven't played Portal in FOREVER, and BioShock for even longer. I have a feeling I also want to grab The Orange Box and sit down to work on Half Life and Team Fortress 2; all of these games seem right up my alley. Also, LOTRO is there, beconing me from underneath its constant updates.

Also, I just found out that Amazon is having a sale on Sim City Societies for $10. I never thought I'd buy this game at full price, so this is a nice little thing. And it also gives me an excuse to buy two other games in a "might as well while I'm there" sort of thing. Yes, I continue to be a consumer whore. But hey, that's what's happening to me! Job = buy shit!

So this was certainly a scattered post. Hopefully something more coherent later.

Heigh Ho A Pirate's Life...

snes4iphone is probably one of the coolest things I've ever worked on. That is, if it could ever save games. I've been reading forums and it always ends up in the same dead end, with people asking the same question I have, and then no responses after that. I even posted, asking for specific instructions on how to do it; hopefully some nice chap will give some instructions other than just "you have ot put it 777 or rite chowm on it". I love the community we have online sometimes, but other times... man oh man, lets just for a second think people don't know what you're talking about. I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually.

Then again, this may just be my computer devices saying, "Hey wait a minute Ben, wouldn't Chrono Trigger be best played on your computer, so you can sink 12 hours in it with one sitting." Of which I say, "Yeah, you're probably right, so I'll just get Mega Man or Metroid or something simple to play when I'm on car rides or on long plane trips." But still, I'd like to solve this problem; I don't want to have to try and play Chrono Trigger all the way through in one sitting. That'd be kinda fun though.

So anyway, I'm going to run home at lunch, and then grab lunch on the way back to the office. That should be okay. Then hopefully this situation will be over, lunch will be had, and an afternoon of hell will be ahead. Rince, repeat.

I just hope Tim isn't on my computer for an epic amount of time when I get home... I hate having to kick a grown man off there.

Rant and then Geekery

I was reading around the intarwebz today and found this article about Resident Evil 5's game trailer. It was really enlightening; I had the same feelings this guy had when he saw the trailer.

"Croal: I looked at the “Resident Evil 5″ trailer and I was like, “Wow, clearly no one black worked on this game.” Because I wonder, and I haven’t sort of really dug into it that much, but I wonder what sort of advice Capcom gave them. The point isn’t that you can’t have black zombies. There was a lot of imagery in that trailer that dovetailed with classic racist imagery. What was not funny, but sort of interesting, was that there were so many gamers who could not at all see it. Like literally couldn’t see it. So how could you have a conversation with people who don’t understand what you’re talking about and think that you’re sort of seeing race where nothing exists?"

I totally agree. The first time I saw the trailer, it unsettled me, and not in the way that horror games are supposed to; I was geniuinely disgusted at the imagry it portrayed, especially in this day and age of people at least pretending that we're better people and acknowledging other people in this world. Did they not even think that there would be a backlash for this? However, I do feel like the typical white dude with no black friends who makes these "oh I'm outraged" statements. But honestly, I would love a Scrubs like relationship in my world. Although I'd be less of an asshole than Zack Braff.

Wow, how'd I get on that tangent? Weird.

It really is just infuriating. Living in the Bay Area, we really are in a little bubble, with people who are relatively open minded yet still are somehow pretentious enough to fuel my rage at them. Gah! Did they really think this would be okay? Maybe that's what the developer wantedwanted, or maybe it's Japan and it just flew under their radar. (More I think about that, the more it seems the case.) Anyway, I will probably not be buying RE5, but I may rent it - I have a torrent of other ideas I would rather check out anyway.

Like Team Fortress 2! I may need to bite the bullet and buy that, it seems like so much fun... and if I ended up getting the Orange Box... man oh man! I'd be in gaming heaven. If I download Steam I can get the Orange Box for 30 bucks too... that is quite a deal. And thus ends the geeking out paragraph.

Winding Down?

Quite possibly, the day is actually winding down well. I've had an actual good day at work. It's been full of stuff that I didn't hate, and full of people that I only semi-loathe. I think it hasn't been a good day for everyone, but since I'm not IT, it doesn't really matter to me. Only in the fact that people call saying their email is down; I have no idea how to deal with something like that. And even if I did, they don't pay me enough.

So, with an hour and 10 minutes left in my day, I have looked back at what I've done today, and how surprised I was to realize that I didn't really hate today like I thought I would. I think I have to chalk it up to my trip to St. Louis. It was such a fun amazing trip that the proverbial high that kept me soarin' during the trip has kept me soarin' through this what might have been a shithole of a workaday. Another thank you to St. Louis. I think I was a lot more homesick than I admitted to myself.

My only bummer of today was not getting my walk in for lunch; I instead ate lunch on my lunch and studied lines. Productive, yes, but I really need to get back into that routine before I find a new, less healthy routine during my lunch breaks. (Plus side though, my lines are pretty fucking solid at this point. The only wobbly ones are for Sunrise, and I think I'm going to con my mom into helping me tonight.) When it rains it pours.

Talked to Shaun for a bit today. He asked me about the Star Wars game that he was unable to attend (it was the day after the wedding). Wasn't able to go either, so we mutually were a little *sigh* about that. We're both INCREDIBLY into gaming, but he is a far better DM than I am. I think it's mostly practice; he's been doing it for much much longer than anyone I've known, and the number of times I've DMmed a game I can (ashamedly) count on one hand. He's a good guy, I wish I could have gamed with him when I was there. Gosh, that sounds bad. Anyway, there's a pic of him on Nick's facebook page that's really funny. That wedding was awesome.

One little anecdote that I must write down so I don't forget: after the wedding when the wedding party was getting their pictures taken all around the area, we had some Lightsaber shots, and we had a fun time recreating some really weird poses - like Nick destroying us with one mighty Lightsaber blow, and the girls striking some sort of hybrid Long Time Ago/Galaxy Far Far away Charlie's Angels pose. It was awesome. At the end of the session though, we had turned off our sabers, Brian and I looked at each other past the rest of the group. He had that wild look in his eyes, no doubt I the same. Our blades flicked on at the same time, and we had the most bitchin' mock battle ever. I gotta get out there more often.

I think it just shows how gaming deprived I am out here. I've been focusing so much on theatre in my life, that I've really put my other passions by the wayside. It's what happens though, that takes over your life big time. Maybe I can find a good Sunday night group somewhere through Gamescape. I hope so anyway, I would love to get in a Star Wars d20 game again; man that shit is amazing.

Also, just found out that Pirates of the Burning Sea is closing down some of its servers. Shit. That seemed so cool, but I am partly to blame. I was really excited about the thing, but have no fucking time to ever play video games anymore. Ever. Seriously. I don't. I'm struggling with the ones I do have. How did I used to do it in college? I remember those nights playing WoW for hours upon hours. Oh well. Maybe soon when I'm independently wealthy, I can play BotBS for a bajillion hours.

50 more minutes!

Afternoon Headache

I used to get headaches in the afternoon almost every day. The workaday world was just fucking stressing me out and giving me bad vibes. I think lately it's mostly just been me being an asshole to everyone in my personal life that has been the outlet for all this weird pent up stuff in my head, but since I've been on my positive outlook kick, my afternoon headache might be back for now.

Cool though is I just got the dates for the SM gig for Shotgun. Might not be able to do it; it's right after we get back from The Lou, and Sunrise at Blah blah starts up shortly therafter. (I counted my lines, I have 5. Easiest equity points ever.) We'll see if I can schedule both, I probably can since it's only 2 days, and it would be building up some contacts, but if not... what the fuck it's only contacts in an area I'm leaving.

I've been playing Ikariam today. It's like Civ, but web based. (found it through Kotaku.) I've always liked the civ games, but stopped playing sometime in my junior year of high school and never really went back. It's not that I didn't like them, I just didn't have the time, I guess. Or maybe the energy. After all, I was pretty hardcore into roleplaying games at that point. The cool thing is, is that there are some pretty cool Civ inspired games coming out soon, or have been out, and I just haven't fucked around with them. Simcity Societies, for one, looks amazing! And Spore, when it gets out (the end of linear time, last I checked) is going to be probably the best game ever. It looks like it's a good time to be a gamer - oh right I can't afford any of them. Oops.

Officially got my taxes done. Found an email in my box from TurboTax saying "your taxes have been accepted! Now mail this off!" So I did, it's in the mailbox now. I dont' like doing taxes, and I have a feeling that once I book more gigs and get paid more frequently with theatres, I'm going to need to do something different. For example, Willows probably doesn't do no funny bizness. Oh well, next year I'll get a tax preparer and have piece of mind, I guess. Or not. I'll figure something out; it all depends on where I'll be. I hope I'll be somewhere that makes me flourish.

8 minutes to go.

So Tim's eyes have become infected because of his old contacts he has been using. He's really strapped for cash, so he hasn't bought any new contacts OR new glasses. So now he's practically blind, and is on antibiotics (which probably cost more than contacts would) and still needs glasses/contacts. Too bad he doesn't have a vision plan with his job. Isn't that wonderful? I love it how if someone needs to see they will have to pay out the ass for it. Wonderful. Great world we live in.

Anyway, his eyes are al puffy and gross and stuff, so if I get home before he leaves for my mom's ferry pickup, I'm going to offer to pick mom up from the ferry. He just needs to rest, poor dude. At least he didn't go to work for the past 2 days. That's more of a shitty thing though; I hate staying home when I'm actually sick.

Freddy is here trying to mail stuff with the mail machine. Freddy's a really cool dude; he works for Snaps, the repro company that shares our building, and he's our janitor. He's awesome. Unfortunately, he's not very tech savvy, so it always comes down to him trying really hard to get the machine to work, and then asking reluctantly for our help. I know he wants to know how to do it by himself; after all, he's been using it longer than I have, but I just think there's a mental block. I kinda feel sorry for him.

And it's all figured out. What a nice guy.

Alright, time to close up shop. Time to go home and take care of this headache with a good old fashioned round of "Trying To Beat Portal."