Now I get what the fires are doing to the light: they're making the entire day look like it's sunset, which is seriously messing with my vibes. Maybe THAT'S why I've been exceedingly tired all week; it's just the weather making me thing it's perpetually time to watch some television, play some games, and go to bed. For that matter, maybe that's why I've been wanting to just watch television, play games, and go to bed all week, instead of everything else that's on my plate. Nevertheless, it's beautiful to watch the distilled sunlight filter through the trees and see the orange glow on the ground here. Beauty keeps me distracted from the ever battering of my soul.. and here comes one of the soul suckers now! Oh goofus, how hilarious (sarcasm) are.
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I am exceedingly happy I didn't go to rehearsal last night. I don't think I've ever felt that way before. Yes, there's work that needs to be done, but I as sure as hell can get there tonight and I'll certainly work my ass off. It was funny though, rather than play video games or anything like that, I simply read all night. I probably can't say I'm a gamer anymore, if when given a chance I would turn to books (comic or otherwise) over video games.
Maybe it's because deep down inside I'm kind of afraid of Team Fortress 2. I mean, I've only played it a little bit, and had my ass handed to me. But... why should I be afraid of it? I think I'm mostly afraid of the stupid people online, and the fact that I don't have any friends to play it with, and the slow realization that my friends with 360's are unable to play with me on the PC version of it. Sigh. Oh well, that's what new friends are for! Or new enemies, when they explode my face. Shrug. I still haven't finished Half Life 2, now that I think of it. Or BioShock. Or any game I've tried to play in the past 6 months. Goddamn theatre.
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I'm smelly. I haven't taken a shower in a couple of days - no time really, and Monica's bathroom isn't conducive to people of Ben size. What I really need is to just have some time to not do anything, I had a taste of that last night, and I want more more more. I'll have a couple of days after Muir Fest is over, but then we start right into Midsummer, and I should have those fucking lines down shortly thereafter.
Speaking of thereafter, haven't got a call from 42nd Street Moon. Granted, their show is much later in the season, but I would love to start to assemble my schedule for after Midsummer. Either that, or they don't want me. Which is completely fine with me; I'm used to rejection, but I know if I'm ever a casting director or an artistic director, I'll send at the very least a email to all the rejected people saying the standard we can't use you right now or whatever the fuck they say to be nice. Truthfully, it is nice, and we can get on with our lives, as well as it actually, most of the time, being the truth; there are only so many parts and much more actors. It just wouldn't kill them to throw me in the mix every once in a while. I'm talking to you every theatre out there. Oddly enough, I'm still pretty positive.
I think Oddly might be a good name for a character in Age of Conan. Or some other roleplaying game. Ooooh, even better in D&D, an illusionist or something... cool. Well, maybe my mind isn't completely gone from gaming.
Mail time. I'll be back later.
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