Reason to Write

1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Where is your significant other? work
3. Your hair color? auburn
4. Your family? necessary
5. Who you miss the most? friends
6. Your favorite thing? laughing
7. Your dream last night? disturbing
8. Your dream/goal? success
9. The room you’re in? mine
10. Your hobby? gaming
11. Your fear? failure
12. Where do you want to be in six years? happy
13. Where were you last night? bed
14. What you’re not? selfish
15. One of your wish list items? cottage
16. Where you grew up? midwest
17. The last thing you did? complained
18. What are you wearing? outfit
19. Your TV? waiting
20. Your pet? old
21. Your computer? loved
22. Your mood? tired
23. Missing someone? many
24. Your car? sturdy
25. Something you’re not wearing? necklace
26. Favorite store? woot
27. Your Summer? intern?
28. Love someone? definitely
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? today

via Reason to Write

The Nerve

So I thanked Eavie for sending me the boxes of stuff and have heard back nothing. The beauty of facebook is that it's pretty impersonal when it comes to that kind of thing, but nothing whatsoever, not even a "you're welcome!" that brays half heartedly from her direction. Obviously she wants nothing to do with me, and that's fine, but there's no reason we can't be civil. Whatever. It's completely over now, and I probably will never see her again. More the pity; we'd be good friends if she wasn't so crazy.

The day has been horrifically uneventful. The hours, as usual, are achingly slow, but today just seems all the more excruciating. Granted, we're a little slow now, but usually I keep myself occupied in one manner or another. Whatever. I'll find something to do. Wait, I am! If I keep typing, the day will go faster and eventually it'll be time to go home. Yep. Just keep typing. Yep. Sigh. Annoying Elaine moment of the day: She's been very eager to help out. So every 15 minutes she cleans the counter. No foolin.

Tonight is the second rehearsal for Midsummer. I'm very excited to get things started, especially because after tonight we'll (hopefully) have all the mechanical's scene's blocked, including the Pyramus and Thisby play at the end! That should be fun. It's a lot to cram into a rehearsal though; we might just do the other scenes and start working on P & T later. Who knows? Whatever we're doing, it should be fun; we're not doing those boring lovers' scenes or the long winded Oberon scenes after all. Hehe, I like being the clown in shows.

And as if the universe were listening to me about how bored I was, it provided 10 Gnomes. Those little fuckers are everywhere in these pictures, and are damned hard to find. Find them. And love yourself for being a puzzle master. I'm going back to it.

I really sometimes have to stop just bitching about my job all the time but it is pretty bad.

I know, I know. Stop bitching about work. It takes over my life though. It really does. I want to stop bitching, but when the bulk of your life is something boring and unbearable, it's hard to think about anything else. And I have to stop complaining that it's only 10 and I've only been here for 2 hours. Can you believe that? Only 2 hours. How the fuck have I kept doing this throughout the past year and a half without burning my face (or others') off? Money, probably. But without the time to have fun with the money, what is the point? AGH.

Okay. Must amuse self. I wonder if I could bring LOTRO here in the days... oh man. That might actually be tempting. Maybe that's a lunch trip.

So anyway. My morning has been composed of applying for new jobs, and recently I thought to myself how I really wanted to Get The Fuck Out Of Here, and then I thought... well why not look for jobs in other cities... which is where I found http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/npo/727069623.html. Which made me happy, and am applying for it as we speak. It would mean that I would need to move to LA (oh gosh darn) and work in theatre full time (man, oh man), but it's a sacrifice I would be able to make.

Done. Applied. Very good cover letter, if I must say so (thanks, Monica! You helped a lot!)

What else? I'm a little gassy today, so this is one of the rare times that I'm glad I'm the only one at the front office; whew! Awkwardness abounds!

Wow, I'm really soul sucked today. Nothing much else to say about it really... um. Yeah.

Hilarious Craigslist of the Day

Help! I need someone to write 3 1/2 pages about .... (mountain view)

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Reply to: gigs-726501115@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-06-20, 9:26AM PDT


the pros and cons of love for my social psych class. I need it in about two hours. I am in a time crunch and I need to do other work and besides I just broke up with my boyfriend and it is not the best topic to write about but I already told my teacher I was writing it. font new times roman microsoft word size 12.I live in mountain view and I can pay you upon receievment. Thanks.

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: 70 dollars

Pretty hilarious if you ask me. Silly students.

(Original.)

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How's my day? Fine. Just applying for jobs and looking for some auditions.

Busy Bee!

I've stepped up my job search to "ludicrous" and for the past couple of hours have been feeling guilty every time I opened this window to type a little bit. Granted, this is the first thing I've been typing, so I think my guilt won out, and I applied for 8 jobs already this morning, all with (mostly) different cover letters. Rock on. Plus, I had hideous busy work, just finished, and had a review to write for High School Musical. Just finished that as well, and happily, it's almost time for lunch!

When did I last write here? I can't remember. I guess I'll just start where I feel like it.

Friday I was sick. Like nasty sick. I was in bed or watching TV most of the day, and it felt like a wonderful thing; I had also taken Monday off for Berkeley Rep and CalShakes - later in the post - so a part of me felt really happy that I was getting an impromptu 4 day weekend! Watching an amazing amount of Legally Obtained television shows, I found a new favorite in Pushing Daisies. Not just because people break into song for no apparent reason, not just because the main character makes pies AND is a detective, not just because there's super powers, but because there are some awesome Broadway diva's on the show as full time characters! Woo! It helped me through my day like an old friend.

Saturday was Mountain Play! Yay!! (?) For the most part, a wonderful time was had by Monica, David G (our temporary friend for the day) and I. That's too silly a statement about David, he's a really cool dude, one of Monica's old teachers, and quite a lively personality. Plus, we drank beer together, so that automatically puts us on another step up in the friendship ladder. I was still a little sick through the day, and the mountain heat didn't help, but the company of friend and lover made things easy and the day pass relatively quickly. Saw some friends from Hair, and then saw the show. Average show, but entertaining nonetheless. Bruce was fantastic of course. So was Erik. It's really Cowardly Lion's show though. After the event, I schmoozed with Jim some, put the bug in his ear about me being in Man of La Mancha; he'll forget until I tell him again, but starting it now is good.

Sunday... can't remember what I did Sunday at the moment. Weird. I think I rested. Pretty sure about that... but can't quite remember. Monica? What did we do Sunday? Put it in the comments please. I only remember selecting an audition outfit later in the day (pinstripe pants, blue shirt, Jerry Garcia tie... EXCELLENT!) and hanging out with Mom and Tim bitching about family. Oh right. Sunday. Now I remember. It's funny how we push bad experiences out of our heads when we've had good ones. Monica's a better storyteller for this, so maybe she'll write it in the comments, but let's just say we hung out with her dad for much longer than I ever would want to hang out with someone of his nature. Also, we had lunch.

Monday was my Berkeley Rep audition at 9am in... Berkeley! We then had a slot scheduled for later in the day; 10:30 for me, not bad all things considered. Walked on over to Peets, got myself a delicious iced mocha, and sat down to check my email, etc. on my iPhone. A few minutes later I heard, "Is that Ben?" and saw Hector, the director of Midsummer standing next to me! We talked for a few minutes, him saying how happy he was that I was back in the show, and me saying I was most happy as well! He started walking out the door, and I took my chance to ask him about his company up in Rodent Puke, PASCO, about the generals. He then just said "we can talk about it, I'm sure there's something for you this season." How cool is that! Is my hard work paying off? Something is happening. Gotta just keep putting it out there!

That afternoon was CalShakes, which went very well... as well! I messed up and flipped some of the words around, but other than that, it went stupendously. Plus, I had a day off of work, AND Monica and I were able to spend the evening together, which is always a wonderful time. I can't remember the last time we were able to actually spend just some sit on ass time with each other.

Tuesday was fun. I went to work practically bulletproof because of the discussion. It even was a shorter day; I would be leaving at 3, to get to Woodminster at 4:30, and then down to San Jose by 7:30 to see High School Musical. The day passed rather quickly, I had a shit ton of busy work to do, and then when 3 rolled around, Leah wasn't around to watch the phones. Waiting for a bit, I decided Fuck It and called Michaele to work the phones while I Got the Hell Out of There.

(Tangent, a nice breeze just came through the window, it cut the warm day and reminded me of days leading up to summer in St. Louis.)

Monica met me at the ferry building and we headed over to eastbayland to find Woodminster. Found it fine, and had a great audition! What is up with me and great auditions lately? I don't know, but it's awesome! Afterwards, we headed down to San Jose, had a meal at Peggy Sue's (where we will only eat if we have PLENTY of time next time) and headed over to the show.

I just wrote a big ol' piece about this, so I don't feel like writing much more, but I will say that it was a wonderful show! All it takes to have a good show is to throw money at it, I say! Also, good actors... but money helps that too. Went home, slept, and here we are.

Tonight is Hairspray at the Orpheum; soooo happy it's closer than SJ. And even though writing every day seemed like a good idea a month ago... I'm weary of how it will work this week. Ah well, just this week and I'll be done for a while; besides, it keeps my writing chops well toned and sexy.

Okay, back on my head.

Cruisin'

Was crusin' through craigslist yesterday at the show and found this. I applied for it this morning, with a quick email to Will, the other guy at Telltale I've been corresponding with (don't think I got the tester position, but I did say, "if you think I'm better suited for the Admin position, please forward my resume along!" so maybe that'll help). That job will get me ammo to get out of this one; even if it's a lateral move, it will be a move in a direction that I love! To a company that makes things I actually care about. I hope hope hope. So keep me in your thoughts friends.

Lets see... two shows yesterday. I had to work in the morning as well, it was a LONG day. The shows went well, thank you for asking, but the play itself is just so bad that it's really hard to tell if things are going well or not; I think they're approximately the same if the show was going splendidly or horribly - no one in the audience really cares. And who goes to Wednesday matinées in concord anyway? Lots, to tell you the truth, and they loved this show about FDR. People are loving the show. It is very surprising to me. They are also not really digging my scene, but I'm having a good time with it, so I'll eat up the scenery for as long as I can.

One more show tonight, 7:30, not 8, like I thought. That's good, it'll mean we get out earlier, but bad, because, well, it's another show. Man, my attitude needs to change, because my environment certainly won't for another 2 weeks. Let it go, Ben, let it go. Have fun with the fun people in the show. Hm. I was sarcastic there before I really even knew I was being sarcastic.

Alright, going to be productive.

After My Man Made Weekend

Tuesday and Wednesday were nice. I really needed the rest; one never knows how much one needs sleep until it attacks us violently and says, "Hey, you're going to bed, asshole." Unfortunately, Tuesday I had to get up early to go to the Academy of Art and do a scene I hadn't studied for 4 weeks, or had rehearsed at all, for I had thought the director had fallen of the face of the earth; so incommunicative had he been. It turns out he was in the hospital, so I wasn't that upset, and obviously he needed to get the scene done for his grade... but still, it was annoying, especially how he got a little annoyed when we didn't have our lines down. He's just in a tough place, and I won't hold it against him. I will, however, do less projects there; I'm just not up to missing that much work for so little to do. Such is life! I wish I didn't have to work a full time job and do my art as a hobby, but that's how it is, and that's how I have to live it for now. (Just in case, I hope that wish really does come true and I get a full time acting gig sometime soon.


After the Academy, had a very nice time with Monica - it's rare that we both have time off now a days - and it was nice. Good lunch too, but I think I'm just thinking about lunch right now because my stomach rumbled. It's a walk to panda for me today, I think! Later that evening, I rode with Tim to the second preview, and it was an okay show. After the reaction from the first night, they cut the orderly scene at the end (thank god) but we still had to endure another tedious "Q&A" at the end of the night, where they never have any questions for the cast, only the director, all the questions are stupid, and oh yes, the director pushes them to ask questions, so these people who wouldn't know theatre if it came up, tapped it on the shoulder, gave it helpful suggestions to get to the local grocery store, and then hit them in the face, are giving us suggestions. We, who (mostly) have gone to school for years to work on our art, are being given advice. Brilliant. Since I'm not going to go into the show any more, last night's performance was kinda stupid too. Well, one more: we're having a brush up rehearsal tomorrow (for what reason, I have no idea), and I can't make it. So that's on my mind; I have to talk to the stage manager at lunch and tell them I can't miss any more work than I'm already going to with the matinée performances coming up in the next few weeks.


Anyway. Bonny's leaving tomorrow. I'm going to miss her here, as said before, because she's just so chill. What a good person to have as a coworker. Plus, having her here meant she did all the shit I didn't want to do, and I did all the really complex stuff that took up a lot of time, all in all, it made the days go by pretty quickly (as quick as a weird soul sucking job can go) and we had a good time chatting or just spacing out doing absolutely nothing for the hours upon hours that this job has nothing to do.

Hehe, just got distracted by Grow Cube. What a cute game that is.

Yesterday I slept. For so long. It was amazing. I woke up, drove home, and went back to sleep. Oh man. How much fun that was, I can't even imagine. I needed it. And then I played LOTRO for HOURS. I deleted my old character (Hobbit Minstrel) and made a new one with the same name (Hobbit Hunter) and started over; it had been too long and I couldn't easily jump back in at the same level as my last one. I just have to say, I love being a hobbit. What a wonderful world they've created - I can't wait to try out the bigger places and find a fellowship and rock all that out. I need to make more time in my life for gaming.

Plan for lunch: No walk today (been really lax lately), I need to eat, then call Jamie. Those, at the moment, are more important; I wouldn't want to leave them hanging tomorrow, so soon as possible!

Plan for afternoon: Survive, one day at a time!

ARE YOU AN UNDERCOVER MEDIEVAL MONK OR HISTORICAL MEMBER OF ROYALTY?

I just put a submission for that ad on Craigslist. Full article here. Although I don't know how long that will stay up. Man, it would be neat to be on the History Channel. SO COOL! I conned monica into applying for it as well; one of the characters describes her to a t, to put it in her words. It would be neat, and probably well paying, as well as a nice little honest to goodness film credit. Booya.

It's always the best when it gets into the last hour here at SWA. Just looking down at the clock in the lower right hand corner just makes everything tingle, and seeing the numbers click over.. then realizing, Hey! Only 54 minutes left.. now 53! for some reason brings such delight. Honestly, it's the soul suckage that's going on; my being is now being absorbed into Corporation. My entity is no longer an individual, just a cog. Sounds kinda like the borg, except not as cool, and no super strength. Although, honestly, I think the borg would kick someone like me out; when you add someone who loves playing video games, drinking, watching movies, and having sex to the borg, it sort of lowers productivity, especially if it wasn't voluntary.

Although, knowing my personality, I probably would go into it voluntarily, if just to get the super strength, hive mind, and really hot borg queen.

And of course, once my mind goes down that wonderful path, I get a huge assignment. Way to go Friday afternoons at a place where people can't manage their time. Nice.

I Can't Believe I'm Awake

It seems impossible, but I'm still up. I've had a shitstorm workweek, a dumbass day, and an even more rehearsal (more on that later, I'd imagine), and now I'm just sitting here, at my computer, completely awake. I had some stuff to do (burning some [deleted] for [deleted]) and said to myself, Just burn one disc, and then go to bed. Haha. Now it's almost 2.

I had this silly idea that this post would go off in tangents I never even knew I had, but with every keystroke, it's getting harder and harder to focus my thoughts and continue to type. That and it seems when typing on my home computer, blogger doesn't put the text into double space, so it seems like I'm typing a lot less than when I put it up at work. Oh yeah, the Great Experiment with multiple blog posting is showing some progress; I've received 2 responses there, and no responses here, I think that means Livejournal is still the most popular one. I just can't pull myself away from Blogger, it's just so much more casual, you know? I guess you don't, since no one is reading this.

Been posting more at Fantastick, and am definetly having a blast just shoving random shit on there; it's so much more intuitive than google notes. And by intuitive, I mean easy. I just have this little bookmarklet, and when I feel like I want to post something, I click it on my favorites and it automagically adds it to Tumblr. Pretty rock and roll, if you ask me, and you didn't, but it's my blog and I can write what I want! So take that, person who needs scolding! HA! Wow, I am tired. And yet, he's not in bed.

Rehearsal tonight was terrible. And I'm not talking like normal terrible, I'm talking like Pits of Despair, Worst Kind of Director, Oh My God Why Is This My Profession If I Have To Work With People Like This terrible. Rich is a maniac. I've had bad directors in the past, even "bad" directors who I know will make a good show I can handle, but this was just an amazing amount of ranty petty put downs and craziness. He was just fucking around the entire time. Everyone was fucking around the entire time (Except Tim. And me, really.). Weirdness abounded when McPsycho had me be a stand in for various people who weren't at rehearsal, and then I had to run the scenes over and over as if I was the actual person cast in that part. I constantly wonder how people like this get into power.

Oho, the real kicker was how he was treating this poor 7th grader in the play. Instead of telling them EXACTLY what to do, he was quizzing them. "What does a Navy mean? Who bosses you around like a Navy? What does that mean?" Yes, not hard questions, but this kid was embarassed, and when he wanted to whisper in his ear, he said, "No, just say it there!" I hate being belittled, but I'd rather it was me than these poor fucking kids probably going to be scarred for life at theatre and never persue the field again.

I'm going to stick with it though, but I'm not going to ask if I can go to any of the other callbacks; just can't bring myself to want to work with that man in any other capacity. And becides, they don't really do good shows. But seriously folks, come, it's going to be a great show, and I'm fantastic in it!

Really!

sobs quietly

ps. Tim is downstairs eating and drinking wine. I think he's an alcoholic.

I now realize what it takes to have a popular blog. All you have to do is simply steal from every other blog out there. For example, tuaw just ran an article that was originally posted on lifehacker. Seems like these folks never really come up with their own content; they just steal it from one another.

That's pretty much it; I'm just tired of reading the same shit on different places all day. Lame. Sorta. Whatever.

Still no response from the Moscow thing about more information. I really dont' want to jump into this thing. I don't know why I think it's a shady thing... I guess I just think it is. Gr. I'd just like to know what I'm getting into if I'm going to spend the last free spot of the summer doing this, before I go to MFA. Speaking of that, no notice from them either! I'm just going to call them tonight and see what's going on. In fact, sending an email right now.

Okay, I sent an email and had a pretty awful bowel movement (which was almost spelled "bowl movement" lets use our imaginations on that one, shall we?) but its' in progress. I'll probably call them tonight when I'm super bored at rehearsal (almost board); especially since I just found out that rehearsal starts at 7! Oh boy. Just enough time for me to go home, gripe, and then head on out. Yay!

Afternoon Headache

I used to get headaches in the afternoon almost every day. The workaday world was just fucking stressing me out and giving me bad vibes. I think lately it's mostly just been me being an asshole to everyone in my personal life that has been the outlet for all this weird pent up stuff in my head, but since I've been on my positive outlook kick, my afternoon headache might be back for now.

Cool though is I just got the dates for the SM gig for Shotgun. Might not be able to do it; it's right after we get back from The Lou, and Sunrise at Blah blah starts up shortly therafter. (I counted my lines, I have 5. Easiest equity points ever.) We'll see if I can schedule both, I probably can since it's only 2 days, and it would be building up some contacts, but if not... what the fuck it's only contacts in an area I'm leaving.

I've been playing Ikariam today. It's like Civ, but web based. (found it through Kotaku.) I've always liked the civ games, but stopped playing sometime in my junior year of high school and never really went back. It's not that I didn't like them, I just didn't have the time, I guess. Or maybe the energy. After all, I was pretty hardcore into roleplaying games at that point. The cool thing is, is that there are some pretty cool Civ inspired games coming out soon, or have been out, and I just haven't fucked around with them. Simcity Societies, for one, looks amazing! And Spore, when it gets out (the end of linear time, last I checked) is going to be probably the best game ever. It looks like it's a good time to be a gamer - oh right I can't afford any of them. Oops.

Officially got my taxes done. Found an email in my box from TurboTax saying "your taxes have been accepted! Now mail this off!" So I did, it's in the mailbox now. I dont' like doing taxes, and I have a feeling that once I book more gigs and get paid more frequently with theatres, I'm going to need to do something different. For example, Willows probably doesn't do no funny bizness. Oh well, next year I'll get a tax preparer and have piece of mind, I guess. Or not. I'll figure something out; it all depends on where I'll be. I hope I'll be somewhere that makes me flourish.

8 minutes to go.

So Tim's eyes have become infected because of his old contacts he has been using. He's really strapped for cash, so he hasn't bought any new contacts OR new glasses. So now he's practically blind, and is on antibiotics (which probably cost more than contacts would) and still needs glasses/contacts. Too bad he doesn't have a vision plan with his job. Isn't that wonderful? I love it how if someone needs to see they will have to pay out the ass for it. Wonderful. Great world we live in.

Anyway, his eyes are al puffy and gross and stuff, so if I get home before he leaves for my mom's ferry pickup, I'm going to offer to pick mom up from the ferry. He just needs to rest, poor dude. At least he didn't go to work for the past 2 days. That's more of a shitty thing though; I hate staying home when I'm actually sick.

Freddy is here trying to mail stuff with the mail machine. Freddy's a really cool dude; he works for Snaps, the repro company that shares our building, and he's our janitor. He's awesome. Unfortunately, he's not very tech savvy, so it always comes down to him trying really hard to get the machine to work, and then asking reluctantly for our help. I know he wants to know how to do it by himself; after all, he's been using it longer than I have, but I just think there's a mental block. I kinda feel sorry for him.

And it's all figured out. What a nice guy.

Alright, time to close up shop. Time to go home and take care of this headache with a good old fashioned round of "Trying To Beat Portal."

Behind on my reading

I came to work today, and as usual popped open google reader to see all the blogs and shit I poke around in every day. Frustration set in when I saw I had over 400 unread articles, I thought, This is because I missed work yesterday! It was pretty funny, considering that's what I was upset about missing work. Not missing pay or helping around the office, but not being able to catch up on my blogs. (Kotaku is at 207 right now, gotta catch up on that.) I've learned a lot of stuff from those blogs, especially Lifehacker. That's where I found out about ZiPhone, the iPhone jailbreaker that apparently only takes 45 seconds to glorious 1.14 jailbroken glory.

Just another kinda funny comment though, last night, around 4:55, Bonny and I received an email from one of the architects here: "out of milk. thanks." was the subject and there was a blank main field. I love it how these people treat us here. At least they said thanks. Of course, I didn't see this email until this morning, so milk was obtained. Huzzah for those milk drinkers. That sounds really nasty after having to go away from the computer and coming back... reading that last sentence. Anyway.

I do want to say, though, that when it rains shit, it pours, and when it rains gossimer wonders, it pours. I'm now doing a LOT of theatre work, and now I have so many lines to learn. It's really stupid how much I should stop fucking around on the internet at night and just work on those goddamn lines. I should really even do some at lunch, meaning I need to cut my walks a little short. Give up exercise for homework? Not the first time. Just wish I had an exercise bike or elliptical machine so I can study like I did in college. By rocking out. Hardcore. Or taking a shorter walk and working on my lines in the car. I should work on them an hour a day or more. I think an hour is where I start to get frustrated though... so maybe an hour of lines and an hour of Portal.

Oh right, I have lunch with gramps today. Balls. No walk OR lines. Guess I'll do some tonight. I better do some tonight. That means portal too maybe... although that fucking last boss keeps killing me. That's what unlimited lives are for! Yay!

Obligatory Post About The Weekend

Friday was probably the Worst Day Ever (or at least Worst Day That Week). Since I try and let things fall off my back relatively easily, I can't quite remember what was going on with it, but I did recall that I had a shit ton of shipping to do, as well as some busywork that kept everything stupid busy for a long time. Plus we were moving the office from Scattered and Numerous to Small Storage Space. It was a weird day. The Worst Day really wasn't for me though, apparently Monica had some really shitty times at her job, so we both were kinda ready to not be there; luckily she IS not going to be there anymore. Yay for new jobs! Woot.

Because of shithole day, we went to Iron Springs that evening for a delicious pint or two. Turned into a lot more than that, but we were fine with how that was going. A nice meal as well, and I officially thought that this would be my last meal out in a while (aside from my already scheduled ones). After a light meal of onion strings and quesadillas, we walked down past the Fairfax Theatre and I was reminded of Klunkerz, the film that Monica's dad was in, by a large sign saying... Klunkerz. It was a minor film fest, and it was already sold out. We found the party at Peri's, and walked in to find a pretty awesome folk band playing, and Bob (monica's dad) and Betsy (monica's mom) sitting there watching the show/waiting for the movie to start. We met the cinematographer, a very very LA guy, and the director, a very very cool dude who looks like he does mountain biking. It was fun.

In need of ice cream, we decided to walk to the Scoop, and the cinematographer came with us, just for the hell of it. I thought he was kinda interesting at first; he works with Steve Corwin and does almost all his stuff, as well as working on the Sarah Silverman show, but his bragging about himself got a little old. I don't even remember his name. He did love the ice cream though, and endeared himself to us a little bit with that action.

The movie was sold out, so we couldn't go see it, but we did take a look around Peri's, and there were all these old Klunker posters with all these people Monica knew from her childhood, as well as older looking versions of the same people walking around us. It was kinda cool, until Monica told me that a lot of them were assholes. Meh, happens. Good mountain bikers though! Did you know that Bob won the first official mountain biking race? True story.

After that we met up with Bruce and went to Aroma around 7:30. There we talked for 2 and a half hours. I love my friends. And I love Aroma/bagels with cream cheese and avocado. Yum!

Went home, watched CSI, and slept. It had been a long week.

Saturday was ZOO DAY! We got up and had pancakes and a leisurely morning, then went to my mum's house and met up with Bruce, and then to the ZOO! Yay! What a fun thing the Zoo is. I always have a blast. (Note: SF zoo is still inferior to St. Louis zoo, just like to point that out.) It's hard to write about the zoo, really. I mean, it's neato, especially the gorilla habitat, but after so many times it's just the same thing, so yeah... animals were neat! I got sunburnt. We rode on the natural gas train. That was fun and fast! Bruce got a hard on for the train; I think he's a little gay for trains. What does that even mean?

We made the obvious jokes about the tigers coming out and killing us. A good afternoon. Into the evening, we went to mum's house and had some fun there while I worked briefly on college applications and lots on Portal. They watched WC Fields... not too into that. (ducks so that the chairs won't hit him)

Next day I slept in and Monica had her sister's birthday party to go to. I didn't realize how much it meant to her for me to go (as found out later), but I was happy to sleep in; it seems like a rarity now. I got almost no work done that morning, instead watching LOST and Avatar and started Breaking Bad. I'm glad I was caught up, and am incredibly glad I started Breaking bad. That's a brilliant show.

I had a cranky day with Monica after that - we were both very cranky and hard to communicate with. Must have been something in the air. But we went to the deYoung, and that was very fun! Much more fun now that I think about it in retrospect - that's a really cool museum. We were still cranky though, and that didn't go away until the evening when we realized how stupid being cranky is. I hate being cranky.

More CSI last night, then sleep.

Today's been going by pretty fast, actually. I made it my goal today to try and keep a positive attitude, and so far it's been working to make the day go by faster. I, of course, had other goals too, which haven't been done yet. Like relearning Launce from Two Gentlemen of Verona, and taking a look at those Sunrise at Campobello lines. However, the main thing I need to do tonight is my taxes. I've put those bitches off long enough, and I can do efile for both state and federal, so why am I waiting? Because I'm a lazy bitch, that's why. Once that stupid thing is done looming over my head, I can dive back into learning more lines, because all of a sudden, I'm really engrossed in a lot of different projects that I need to juggle. Which is neat, dont' get me wrong, but I need to know Launce, Marc and Yvan from Art, and something for my Kaiser audition coming up later this month. Which will be either "What Was I Scared of?" by Dr. Seuss, or the only nice monologue from The Pillowman. It'll get done. This is nowhere near the shit I needed to do back in college.

Also, tonight (before taxes), I'm going to do Bollywood dance with Monica, if I can zip all the way to Fairfax in time. I am staying positive and saying yes I will be able to. If this dance class rocks it, then I'll have another thing to help me lose weight! I just need 4 more classes a week and I'll be great...

This may be what I do when I'm in for an upgrade...

Pricey prebuilt behemoths rule the PC gaming world, but with ever-falling component costs (and color-coded cables), why not build your own fraginator?

This day needs to end.

I think I'm getting the facebook addiction that so many of my friends succumbed to in their years of college. At the time, I was all, "Psh, what the fuck is this? I'll use it, but totally not check it every five minutes." Little did I know, that almost 2 years after graduating, I, too, would be falling prey to its sweet sweet embrace. It was like me and cell phones too, really, I was the last person to get one out of ALL my friends, and even then, I only bought the incredibly cheap one that came with the plan so we were able to get a rebate... one I think I forgot to turn in anyway. That's how they get you!

I started today looking forward to checking my email for this audition I have coming up; no, not to go to the audition, but to look for conflicts in the show or the schedule of the rehearsals so that I couldn't make it. Not my luck, it fits right in my schedule, so looks like I'm going to have to relearn that stupid monologue and actually work on it for this audition. If there's anything I've learned in the first part of this year, it's that even if you don't want to do this shit, give it your all, you never know who could be there and see you... and maybe then think of you for other projects! Woo. It's my tired old complaint about how burnt out I am of this area. Blah blah blah.

Also, it turns out that Run, Fatboy, Run, 21, and Stop-Loss all suck. It's a pity, I really wanted to take a look at those this weekend. I guess it's back to going to Horton Hear's a Who. That's right, Monica, I actually am going to see it. So what if I'm a flipflopper. (Also, you wear flipflops in HAWAII.)

Washing and Weirdness

I was going to go on a post about how I haven't washed my clothes in a very long time, but then I realized how many times I actually write about that. You, journal, are my personal whipping boy to my self consciousness about my cleanliness and non-wrinkledness. Like today. This brown shirt. One of my favorite shirts. 100% cotton, brown, breathes well, looks pretty cool. But I've worn it like 9 billion times since I've last washed it; it's all wrinkly and has a stain somewhere I bet. But I loves it so! And I really have no time to wash things, really. I'm largely seeing if I can hold out till I go to St. Louis and bring all my dirty clothes with me, just not pack ANYTHING clean. Haha! I'm an asshole.

Oop! Just remembered I need to grabs mes somes mores transcripts from Truman. Printing out that stupid page now... oh! AND I need to copy those letters of recommendation. Hm... Rick's is electronic... AHA! Here it is, scanned with his signature. I can totally copy that hardcore tasty abs. 10 minutes have passed since I read that last sentence; I wonder why I wrote that. Weird. I'm strange today. Maybe it's because I've already had to do SO MUCH SHIT this morning, and now there's a lull in everything. I wish it was just consistent, instead of waves of stupid stupid work and then nothing. At least that way my day would go faster. BLEHGHR.

Turns out Rick's letter of recommendation is personalized... so I may need to get a general one from him. Not too hard, he's a fucking amazing person! I also need to call Calshakes today and tell them I can't accept the internship. It'd be too hard to coordinate with my schedule with the program I'm trying to get into. Gr. Oh well. Happens, and I'll say it in a way of really wanting to do the project, but just can't - I mean, shit... MFA program! Maybe then they'd keep me in mind for next year.

Tonight Monica and I are going to her sister's house for some birthday bash action. I'm happy I was invited, but the car situation is a little tricky. We figured out how to do it by just coordinating a Great Car Switch at lunch, where Monica will pick me up from my house after I drop off the bug there. Then, she will pick me up from work! She really must want me to go to the birthday bash. I'm happy for that. How is she able to do that, you ask? Poor girl has a migrane today, so she had to stay home from work. Too bad for her work. So sad.

Yikes! Gotta run.

Fun and Wonder

I had a terribly unproductive, yet eventually fun, weekend. It was unproductive because most of the things I wanted to do were left undone in the wake of other activities. However, I did keep most of my promise, and almost all of my paper is done. I'm excited about that. The rest is more just filling in the blanks and finding factoids. The easiest part. And honestly, looking up classes is simple, and finding some more schools isn't hard; all I have to do is do a search and scramble together a package to send to them - I'm pretty sure I have all they need, a little tweaks here and there and it'll be perfect for a different school. I guess that's the blessing of applying for a shitload of schools, once you get one down, you pretty much have a formula for the rest of them.

My one of two productive thing was going to the meeting for Sunrise at Campobello on Saturday morning. The director, Rich, seemed like a harsh dude at the auditions, but here he was way more cool than I remember. He just doesn't have a censor sometimes; he says a lot of stuff that doesn't make sense and is kinda vulgar. But the show could possibly be incredibly successful. His idea was to do it in an almost expressionistic tone; we'll see how that shapes up as the rehearsals go on. The Cool Thing we did saturday, though, was watching a memorial for the local Fairfax celebrity, Chuck Day. He died not too long ago, and was a really groovy person in this area, playing gigs and such at 19 Broadway (I think). I didn't really know who he was, but he was a friend of Monica's family, and it meant a lot to her. Especially because the memorial was a New Orleans type parade with music and happiness and fun. It was very touching. Afterwards I was incredibly hungry to I went to M&G's; I think I'm getting tired of that place. I was able to get a few pages done on my paper too. Happy for that.

Went to Six Flags Discovery Kingdom (Formerly Marine World Africa U.S.A.) yesterday. I was pretty much apathetic to the whole thing, but Monica really wanted to go, so I bucked up and we headed to there. The problem with me now is that since I've been to Disneyland, I'm totally underwhelmed by every other fun amusement park. We did get season passes, and I did have a good time, so I think we'll have a really fun time once I get more into the swing of things, and once it gets hotter so we can go on some water rides! Woohoo! Also rode the Roar. And I just about pooped my pants. I don't do rides very well. Then we went home and slept. I do believe I was promised margaritas, but that didn't happen. Oh well.

Today I had my audition with San Jose Rep. I think it went surprisingly well, considering I hadn't really worked Sganarelle much. Tim's monologue, of course, went swimmingly. You never know. I mean, he was nodding his head and looking pleased the entire time; it seemed as if I actually did something different for him, or at least started the day off with some energy. Who knows! Our job as actors is to audition, so that's what I gotta do! (Speaking of that, gotta look up the directions to the Academy of Art, have a movie audition there tomorrow.) In any case, it went well, I think, and if the least I did was put my energy out there to show him that I exist, that's terrific. The best would be he casts me for all the shows... (Hello PUTNAM COUNTY SPELLING BEE!) but we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

Just got some amazing news. But I need to read more about it.

Mapped the route to Academy of Art tomorrow, pretty rock and roll. It's an easy walk from the ferry building, so I can easily ride in with my mom and go back early, getting to work at a reasonable hour. Yuck. Work. But still, if these go through, I might be in a (student) movie! (Would be nice if that movie that I auditioned for and did a great job would call... ) And it would be $75! Not bad for an addition to a reel too.

I'm really happy for Monica and her new job. Jealous too, but that's to be expected - she's doing something in her field that she will (hopefully) enjoy! I'm totally stoked for her. AND if I get the thing in Santa Rosa, we may move up there and I can get a part time shitty job up there, do my shows, and she can work at the museum. Win/win. Also, win/doing something different with my life. I'm ready for a change.

Wow, more good news. Zeum just called, "WOULD YOU LIKE A PHONE INTERVIEW NOW?!?!" No, I say, let's do it later tonight. No, we can't! I'm leaving early, they say. So I scheduled it for tomorrow at 1. Cool beans! We'll see how that goes, and I can look up stuff about what I'd do at Zeum. Rock and roll. My day is looking up... now lets just have some shows call me up!

Going on a walk today. Then to Best Buy for a big ol' external hard drive.

Um. That's it.

Yikes.

Wow.

I just had that strange weightless feeling you get after thinking you've lost something very important. The relief that comes from finding it afterwards is almost worth the quick loss. (It was the key to the car, totally not in my pocket, but on the floor here. Whew.)

One long laborious hour left in the day, luckily I hope that half of that hour will be full of delicious barbeque and beer, or at the very least, soda. I do have to drive at 5, after all, and I sure as fuck am not pulling a Myra and getting too drunk to go home, and then staying at work. Yeesh. I wonder how she's doing. Rocking out in a job she actually wants, probably; she's very much an office person. I sure as fuck hope I can spend the majority of my life outside an office, changing the world one piece of art at a time.

Hulu is pretty cool. Too bad I don't have a private enough place to watch videos here at work. Maybe it can work to my advantage someday, and then I can watch tv to my heart's content. No LOST there yet, so I'm not chomping at the bit to get a free subscription. That's valuable time that is wasted signing up for a subscription! I could be... staring at entertainment weekly... or writing a blog entry... or... fuck it I'm signing up.

I also found this through my newest best friend, google reader. It's a graph on how you can stomp those cravings out with nuts or with specific healthy foods. For example, you want chocolate? You probably just need Magnesium, which is found in nuts and fruits! This is gonna be wicked awesomez. Unless what I really want is chocolate, and in that case it won't be as awesome.

Monica and I may go see Spike and Mike in the Mission. It's a weird animation thing that I've really only heard of in snipits before she told me how awesome it's going to be. We may do it, may not, I'm kinda tired tonight from this shitstorm week of hell that was this last week. And fuck, I really still want to see Horton Hears a Who.

It's after noon!

Obama requested -- by didn't appear to get -- $4.8 million for another light-emitting diode project. This one uses LEDs to heal.

Rock and roll! Star Trek here we come! This is why I want a younger guy in office, I can totally see Barack and I hanging out in our parents' basement, drinking mountain dew, watching a Star Trek marathon and then rocking out on Guitar Hero. This is the person I want for president.

Also, he's really cool on a shit ton of other issues. I hope that more young folks like myself get up off our asses on election day and elect him. That's the only way we're ever going to change this country; they need to stop worrying about the swing voters and work on the non voters to come in and vote. If appealing to something else, giving them something more to think about, then maybe, just maybe, all my friends who've said they have never voted will come out of their stupidness and take 15 goddamn minutes out of their lives to try and change this country for the better. This is why I would have to change my attitude a bit if I ever went into politics - I get too heated about topics and lose my cool. That's pretty much my only flaw. Well, that and my gay prostitution ring.

KIDDING.

Just about lunch time and I'm not hungry. I've been munching on (healthy) shit all morning, and I feel great. This new eating regime is really working, I think, and it's making me starve less when going through my day - add a walk on top of that and I should be biting my arm off, but nope! Seems fine to me! Today I'm planning on going on a walk, but it may rain, so we'll see how the sky looks in an hour, and if it's bad, I'll just save it for some ddr and weights tonight. All are good decisions. Although I really have to get a new DDR mix; the songs on this one are getting so boring.

Apparently my dad didn't get or chose not to any of the emails I had been sending him about my upcoming trip with Moncia to Nick's wedding. We'll be in St. Louis for about 7 days, and I was hoping to be able to stay with him at the house. So I have to try and ask him (again) if we can stay there (answer was yes, but still, it's awkward), and he blames me for never asking him in the first place. He's such a weird fucker, why can't we just help each other out? It's not like I'm going to be there all the time; I have a bachelor party on the 9th, and the rest of the time Monica and are going to rock out the great city of St. Louis. And "rock out" means scramble and try to find something interesting to do. No no, it's a great town.

I'm also probably going to send my stuff to Quin at Arrow Rock. Like he'll cast me, but maybe with an updated resume and some San Francisco Sparkle (ha!), it might cause him to sway his opinion and give me a little role in one of those silly shows down there. Meh, not really, I doubt he'll give me much time of day; we're kinda acquaintences, but he goes to New York and LA and blah blah - I'm sure he's found all he's looking for throughout these auditions. But still, doesn't hurt to try, he says with the enthusiasm of Ben Stein.

Yum. Eating leftover turkey burger from Iron Springs last night. That was a fun night. Played a little Smash Bros. (controls are VERY weird, gotta get used to them) and then walked down there with Monica. There we met Bruce and David, and had a lovely dinner and drink (I had their Barley Wine, something of which I've wanted to try for a long time, good shit) and there was varying degrees of friendship going on. David and Bruce have been friends for a billion years, and David and Monica have as well, while Bruce and I have been friends for years, and Bruce and Monica haven't. This was the 3rd time I've met David. Anyway, just struck me as a different dynamic; the different styles of relationship we have with each other, etc. Don't really know where I'm going with that, but it struck me as interesting at the time.

Played a little Warcraft III, fun shit. I'm surprised that I never tried out that game when I was playing Starcraft. It's the same game, just fantacised! So much fun. I may have to go pick up the first few warcrafts as well, and then try out Diablo again. My next big purchase, however will be Xbox 360, when they get their Blu-Ray Player bundle. If that doesn't happen, I guess I'm going to just have to get a car. I mean, sheesh. I do really want one of those fortwos though. If I were to get a new car, that would be it.

Did I just end on a preposition? Sorry about that. I've never got the hang of how that works. Or shouldn't work.

Skies cleared up, looks like it's going to be a beautiful walk this afternoon. This place is beautiful. That's really the only thing I'll miss once I leave. That and the high gas prices. What?!

Other news: Gassy today. Must be the meat. Haven't been eating meat as often as I used to, and this gas... let's just say I feel sorry for anyone who comes near me. Luckily, they leave quickly, hopefully to spread the word that I'm stinky so no one will come near me. I hate them all.

Phone Thing

This is weird. Blogger just teamed up with GrandCentral to make web dialing that keeps numbers private and shit. That's pretty cool. So I put one at the bottom of my blog here. Right on. We'll see how it goes, but if it's stupid, I'll take it off. If it does nothing, then I won't do anything with it. If it rocks, then I will give GrandCentral a hug and fuck around with their services some more.

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Bleh, so I'm eating much healthier than I was before, but maybe celery has gone too far. I'm giving it a shot, and I might be able to get through this tiny plastic bag, but I'm not making any promises. I'm only thinking of the time I can eat this airlike meal and actually be full. I just need to eat periodically more throughout the day, and have bigger breakfasts. Just so fucking tired all the time. Maybe that means I need to be more active anyway. That'll help me not want to sleep everywhere at every chance. I just wish that our culture respected the individual more, rather than the concept of working. Of course, we need to work, it's just the nature of the beast, but if companies believed in the personal more, helping people in need, then maybe we'd have happier workers who weren't always trying to get out of their job. I wouldn't mind forced exercise every day too.

But here we are, the sitting at a desk employee. Ever more sedintary at work, even more in the evenings. That's why I'm looking for full time acting work. And after that, I'm looking for full time tech work, where only part of the time I'll be sitting and contacting people, the other part I might be up and screwing in a light or building a set or managing scene changes. I love the theatre. I wish I had more insight with it than just saying "man I love it." (This blog comes to mind when thinking of theatre's cool ideas.)

As for me, I think I know my shit, I just have been so numbed by the past 2 years that I think I'm getting stupider towards the art that I love. Of course, what to do? Maybe just read some more, read about my art or technique or whatever. Take a class. Or not, I think I missed that deadline too. Sigh. Well, this week, Ben: Get off your ass and apply to the rest of the shit you've been meaning to apply for. You've been pretty good, honestly, but you just need to keep doing it. Play the game. Do it from work when you don't feel like your soul is being sucked.

Why is it so hard to do this stuff from work, anyway? I mean, for the most part I'm not doing anything. Just reading and doing mostly random tasks for people. Like now, delivering this box to Mike Pon's desk. One moment. There, easy as pie. I guess I'll give some of this a good start. Like that paper for UNLV. Or maybe some other stuff. I'm on to my B list schools. Judging by the length of time UHM is taking, I have a feeling I won't be doing that. I dont' think I have enough youth theatre experience to really qualify the training. But that's why we learn, isn't it? I mean, why hire someone who already knows everything? Shit, I hate that.

Rant rant rant. Anyway. I hope to have a good workout tonight. I'm also going to go for a walk today, it's an amazingly beautiful day. That's the good thing about working around here, the walks are gorgeous.