Back from the Midwest, and fruitless (except for the dried fruit in my bag). Over the weekend I used my dad's laptop, and got a little laptop crazy for a while, but I think that will go away once I get to my wonderful computer.

I am still a little laptop crazy though, and Monica's is really pretty; I may have to go to best buy and get the same one she has. But then again, I really don't need one - I don't travel enough, and when I need to use a computer, there's one that's handy. So... I think I'll wait for a little bit and see if I genuinely need one. In the meantime, maybe I'll find a job so it will be justified. Here's my promise to myself though: if I get more stage management gigs, I'll buy a laptop for rehearsals.

Because of my frustration this weekend, I've brainstormed what the reason I may be not as successful as I want to be is because of my weight... so I've stepped up working out, and it has been pretty wonderful so far, and not as hard as I thought it would be; I'm stronger than I realize.

Now just to get a little bit more cardio in my days. A walk or some DDR each day would be useful.

Hi Folks, I'm in St. Louis

I love my home.  As stated before, I love my dad and Laurie (stepmom) as well.  But there's something about being home that cures what ails you.  Well, except if you hated your home, but I've been lucky to have had a pretty good time here, aside from the times when I didn't.  

Every time I turn a corner here in St. Louis, I see something I remember, or something is new, but great; this place is actually starting to look like a real city.  I can definitely see myself, after becoming a mega super box office smash, coming back here and starting my own theatre company, or branching out with the People's Theatre company.  This is a good place.  

The only downside that's been happening here is that many of my old friends have been a little flakey in getting back to me and meeting up.  Not Nick, he's still awesome, just incredibly busy, but some of my really good friends from college who live around here, they're either nonexistent or being very cold in our correspondence.  Strange.  Maybe they're jealous.  Yeah, sure, that's it.

I'm not letting me spoil this trip.  Even if I stay close to home, it's still fun to walk around this old neighborhood, or take a short drive to the Zoo, or the Science Center or the ANYTHING.  It's a really good place.  

Mostly about Dad

Gathering dust in the corner, my ever increasingly unused blog. I guess I'll say something today, why not?

I've been busy as a sexy bee lately SMing Lead, Dot's new play, of which my mom is a major character, and a bunch of our friends are the rest of the parts. It's been fun so far, but as in all SM gigs, I've seen over and over again at how I'd run the rehearsal differently, or how that I could be a pretty bitchin director. After all, I do have a lot of experience in this field. Maybe someday, especially with the great news... that's not solidified, so I really shouldn't send it out there in the world, but let's just say that a new theatre company may be out in the wild pretty soon. Now if only I could get dreamweaver to work, and set up a website so that it really WILL be out there in the world.

Still haven't found an official slot for the MWTA, but I'm on their list, and that's a good thing; because of this, I'm heading out to St. Louis next weekend, serving the purpose of auditioning for a fuckton of theatre companies, but also seeing my family whom I miss very much. I haven't seen my dad in almost a year. That's a funny thing to think about, especially since I don't really think about it too often, and then have pangs of overwhelming homesickness.

Dad and I had never been close until I moved away to college, and even then, we were really only vaguely friends. I remember when I was very young having tons of fun with my dad, memories of water gun fights, or road trips to Kansas City, or trips to the Science Center where he dropped his slice of pizza on his lap - remember that, dad? Then, as all things do, we grew apart, as I grew into my own person. It happens overnight, really, and it's an evolution to get back. But we never stopped loving each other, that's for sure. I always had the luxury of knowing my dad loves me. Not a lot of people can say that.

When I started my professional actor/writer/administrative life, we talked less and less, but the times we did talk were great, or at least funny. I started to think about him at least every day; wondering how he's doing, what he's been up to, the usual stuff when it comes to people you care about that happen to live 2000 miles away. More and more when we talk on the phone it's about discussions that normal people have with their fathers: advice on career, girl troubles, money issues... and I love my dad, and am lucky to say that.

He married again, after my mom and him were divorced. Laurie is a good person, and even though we clashed a lot, we love each other. I love how people evolve, and especially I love it that I've evolved.

It'll be great to see them.

Grumpy Gus

So um yeah.

I've been having some great auditions lately, and yet none have been coming to fruition. Great shit. Great feedback, people saying "spot on" stuff like that. And yet, nothing comes of it.

Granted, these people are mostly idiots in any aspect, so if they hire me, it's whether or not they deign to use me on a whim, because I smiled the right way, or said something they particularly liked. Well, moreso than normal like; I do believe they like me, I do believe we're friends... but something that amuses them in particular.

It's just been silly lately, that's all. When hearing about this guy who gets cast here all the time (yes, I know, people other than me can get cast) but he's not better than anyone else, he just is from LA. And I wrote about these people last year, in regards to the same person, who is now, in fact, Don Quixote in the Mountain play. I still think he's a very pleasant fellow, but way too young for that role/can't sing.

Whatever. Something good will happen sometime. It's bound to.

And the first step is starting an experiment. I will update to see if it works.

Horrible Rampant Unemployment... but still I bitch.

It's taken me a total of 3 days to hate my new job.  Granted, I had some hatred for it before I even started: part time, $10 an hour, almost nothing to do.  Some people might think this is a good thing, the whole nothing to do.  Yes, I got very good at it at SWA, for sure, but there's something different here.  Maybe it's because the computer desk I have here is so unergonomical that I'm ending up with huge painful marks on the bottom of my wrists.  Or maybe it's because I've had little to no training as to what I'm supposed to be doing today/at all.  Or maybe it's because I actually have some semblance of how work should be filled with doing something that I feel bad when I'm checking my google reader.  Also, the chair is bad.

I've had a pretty good couple of weeks aside from that.  It's been pretty relaxing, and I've had a few auditions that have been going pretty well.  Aside from the fact that last Decemberish I forgot to sign up for the TBA auditions, I feel pretty good as to how my career is going, especially with the opportunities I've been having lately, and the fact that I've had to turn down projects.  Rad.  

Tomorrow David wants me to come in and help with lights, and I am completely down with that; I love doing light hangs and such... the poopy part of this is that I'm feeling kinda shitty - yes, it might just be because I'm at a place that I don't really want to spend the next... jesus, 5 and a half hours, but my sickeyness has been a bit more than just appearing at work - bad last night, bad this morning... who knows.  If I get sick, so be it, and I won't go.

Tuesday Monica and I went on a date to see Burn The Floor at the Post Street Theatre.  It was an amazing dance performance, albeit a little flashy at times, and one that I need to post on EDGE tonight.

Aaand I need to make it up to Target or Best Buy (probably Target; have something to return there) to bite the bullet and buy a new printer.  The one I got from Kele (thanks, Kele!) just exploded and will not for the life of it do anything other than stutter while trying to munch down paper.  It's a hand me down anyway.  Here's my conversation with the poor ol' girl:

Me:  Hey printer, print out this application, will ya?

Printer: I LIKE THE FLOWERS.

Me:  Time for the shotgun, ol' girl.