Got an email from our director; she's a great director, very different from what I've been used to this summer, so that's cool, but for some reason the super attentiveness is getting to me. Anyway, this email was about the receptions after the show, giving a dress code about what all the men should wear.

Yes, okay. Receptions are important. But... maybe just a reminder that we have one?

Anyway, I plan on getting WASTED and throwing up everywhere. But at least I'll be wearing something nice.

Catching up on all the new seasons of shows; glad Danko's dead, and I am so over Sylar. That's it really. The actor is great, but the character is getting super boring for me. Other shows are starting super great. So that's awesome. I like television. I just don't like watching TV.

The awesomer stuff is that Call Me Madam is going really well, and I'm actually having fun with theatre again! It's almost like the past 12 weeks of summer are washing away from me! Yay! Almost.

Throw Money At It

One hundred and fifty dollars later, the power of the arctic blows freely in my car! Turns out, all it needed was a recharge, and the reason my gauge wasn't saying it needed a recharge was because it was still pressurized.... so the moral of the story is to throw money at it. Luckily, I saved about 200 bucks by going to a different place than our regular mechanic, happy about that, but still, I don't have a lot of money.... but hopefully the drag that is saved in gas money will pay for itself. Also comfort has a price.

Also, I'm hungry. Time for a sandwich.

Okay, there's no sandwich fixin's here, so I might have to make a excursion to Trader Joe's for some deliciousness. Or I might just be lazy and eat some pretzels. Hey, it's junk food with no fat. Besides, I took a nice walk today. WHY AM I DEFENDING MYSELF TO A JOURNAL?

Insomnia Makes Me Type

Tomorrow's going to be a day of doing stuff. I need to get the air conditioner in my car fixed, especially since I plan to have it for many years to come, and I've been putting it off for way too long. The stupid thing about the whole situation is that I really don't have a trusted mechanic around here, and checking on yelp, there's no person in the area that pops out. My plan is to go to the guy I usually go to tomorrow (if there's time) and if not, I have an appointment with another place on Tuesday. Yes, boring, I know, but once I have blisteringly cold air coming out of my vents, everyone will want to be riding in my car!

Brigadoon is over and done with. Thank gods. We were rained out of our last performance, so woo hoo to that! And I've been on to complain sometimes about Call Me Madam, but for the most part it's been an incredibly positive experience, especially with my disrespectful experiences I've been having earlier, and of course it's nice to be in a show where they actually utilize me as the triple threat that I am. Booya!

Monica and I went to Sacramento the other day, so that she can talk to her advisor about restarting her thesis and graduating. It was an incredibly positive meeting, and we were able to spend the rest of the day doodling around Sac, which is always fun, especially when we end up at a costume store and find an Awesome Parasol, a Dance Macabre mask, and a Sweet Pocketwatch (working!); it was a great day for everyone. Plus we ate a whole lot. They got some good restaurants there in Sac.

The rest of life is okay. The car is the biggest task of the next couple of days, and I hope it to be done by tomorrow (my theory, it's a wire that needs to be kajiggered back into place). After that, I'm probably going to be a beach exerciser; I want to take advantage of the beauty around me, it seems like for a LONG time I've just been taking for granted the fact I live on the coast. Many people don't ever see the ocean, let alone such a beautiful area as mine... so I need to be grateful.

Now that I'm working on a show where I'm respected (for the most part) and used (for the most part), I'm beginning to love my career again. It's not a perfect place, nothing is, and at this point in my life I'm very sensitive to things like disrespect and taking advantage of your performers, so it's easy to see some mostly innocent requests coming from the production team as criticisms, which puts me on the defensive. But I'll get past that, if they continue to release me early, and I learn my shit, which I will, of course.

This morning I've rediscovered my love of oatmeal, and how it helped me lose so much weight earlier in the year. It fills me up for hours, and all I need as a snack later is some almonds or some other thing that fills me up. That's the key folks, just don't eat a whole lot. Unlike me, who had a huge in and out burger last night, but hey, that's a once in a while treat.

Monica's back from sad times down in LA; her aunt (and general cool person) died late last week, and the whole family went down there to pay their respects and to start figuring out the estate that she left behind. From what I can see, it's pretty awkward, but there's a ton of love in that family... so it ends up being kind of heartwarming in the end, as she talks about some of the good stuff that happened. Some of the bad stuff that happened, however, is pretty terrible, but does seem like normal familial hate in these normal situations.

Late Late show

Candy is getting me through this horrible rehearsal process. This whole thing is just in the ARGH stage, which happens at theatres that I even like, so one can only imagine what it's like at a theatre I have the hatred of a thousand suns. And candy isn't a person, it's candy. Delicious candy from World Market. Gotta love that british candy.

I also worked on my schedule for Call Me Madam, hopefully we'll get shit done in time for me to not feel completely in the dark when it comes to music, dancing, or blocking. Luckily, this part is SUPER small, and that means less time at the theatre! I'm happy for a smaller role... soon I bet I'll be happy for something bigger, but for right now, I'm doing just fine.

When I was watching CSI during the day, there were many commercials for trade schools or nursing schools. At first, I didn't put two and two together, but it eventually dawned on me, and it made me feel a little odd that I was actually considering the Motorcycle Institute at UTI. Yes, that's an actual school. I think I'm just yearning for something, and school is certainly something I can have control over... but maybe I'll focus on something like dance rather than learning how to fix a bike.

Also, my insomnia's back. I'm incredibly tired, but unable to sleep. Sigh.

Here I am

Kennedy dying sucks. But he was old and sick. But he was cool. It happens.

So I've just been keeping busy with Brigadoon; Singin' in the Rain ended a few weeks ago. I have a lot more to do in this one, but it's still the same old shit at this theatre company that I've been complaining about this whole season, and I tried to stop complaining so I don't loathe the rehearsal process. Never again, that's what's pushing me through the whole thing. I don't know why people would ever go back there. Granted, if I was equity, I'd go back there... so maybe that's the thing.

My life has been pretty much the same, job search, rehearsal, exercise, video games, maybe hanging out with friends. I need to get back on the ball with some auditions, but with this past year of theatrey goodness, I think I might want to take a short break for a while. After all, with The People's Theatre, I'll pretty much always have a part.

In the meantime, I'll try and get back on the ball with writing, and maybe I'll start reviewing other things, like shows and movies that Monica and I go see, to keep things fresh. My other writing is slow, but it's happening, so there you go. The best thing to do is write.

I also need to shave.

Just stuff

Things have been super busy in the Ben world as of late. And yet, I still have plenty of time to watch my new favorite, albeit very short, show, Freaks and Geeks; why has it taken me super duper long to find this in my life? Jeez.

Anyway, Singin' in the Rain is going alright for the most part, it's just a constant struggle working with a slightly unprofessional thing when it comes to the running of the entire place; if there's one turnoff in my life, it's disrespect, and this company has it in spades. It was slightly (really slightly) better today at the end - the stage manager really listened to my concern, and actually made some changes in the way the scene change was done. So a high note.

I've been stupidly depressed about not having money, or being in a job that could support me... I'm just tired of being completely dependent. Not completely of course, as devotees know, I'm a super writer and actor and singer, etc., but for some reason my mind has been wandering down the different paths my life could have taken. Weird thoughts happen after a 12 hour rehearsal process.

Also, I'm going to Ikea tomorrow, I think.

What Actually Happened

Yesterday I called in sick to rehearsal, feverish, unable to sleep, I dialed the stage manager's number, telling her I need to get rest, and that I would try to make it, but would call her if I could. I slept the rest of the day.

I mean, what really happened is because of the horrible disrespect they've given me, and other actors (yet most others they don't seem to see it) my little rebellion is calling in sick to a show, something I've never done before, something that made me feel a little weird at first, but then simply washed away. Also, bunches of other people aren't showing up. I guess it comes down to a respect thing.

What I REALLY did yesterday was go to the SF Theater Festival and watch/film the performance of Crazy! We turned out to be the stars of the morning, better than a lot of the stuff that was going on earlier in the day... and later in the day for that matter. I say we, because the cast gratefully emphasized that I'm in the cast as well was directed. And we were approached bunches of times afterwords. So cool.

Now I'm watching Fringe, and going to go on a super big hike later today, to start getting back into shape. Fringe is... very formulaic. Yet big casts interest me. And it's fun.

Surprisingly hard to write lately. I really need to write a little bit every day.

So I really just said to myself, "okay, one more episode, then I'm playing some video games."

I love me some life right now.

Except for some frustrating rehearsals, but eh. Don't want to stress about that a third time.