Saturday, February 9, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
Timeline
In a little over 24 hours I'll be doing my auditions. I am extremely nervous and excited. I'm trying to tell myself that this is no different than any other of my auditions; which is true. However, what that really is telling myself is that I should take all of my auditions, weird shows, dumb shows, etc. with the same amount of respect and effort that I'm giving these this weekend. I keep on telling myself that I need to put it out there, maybe this is part of it, committing myself fully to every piece of art I do. After all, an actor's job is really to audition, getting a show is just a perk.
In a little over 4 days I'll be on my way to Hawaii. I'm so extremely pleased that this was worked out that the day after my auditions, I go to Hawaii. No matter what happens, I'm still going to be in motherfucking Hawaii. I have a feeling if I go there and do absolutely nothing, I'll have an amazing time. However, I will be doing a lot, so rock and roll!
Thank god for the new season of LOST. It's turning out to be as amazing as I thought it would be. Unlike a bunch of other people, I have not lost interest in the show with all its awkward twists and turns (Although you almost lost me at Mr. Eko's demise... and wasn't he building a church with Charlie? Oh, guess that doesn't matter now anyway.) but I've stayed through it and have been through everything. No other show has made me actually watch it every week, and that's saying something. Well, then Heroes came along, but this was first. It put my faith back into a career that I may have one day in film. If this is the direction Hollywood's going, I have faith that there's a place for me there.
Anyway, I hope for positive energy to be sent my way for my auditions. I will need it.
In a little over 4 days I'll be on my way to Hawaii. I'm so extremely pleased that this was worked out that the day after my auditions, I go to Hawaii. No matter what happens, I'm still going to be in motherfucking Hawaii. I have a feeling if I go there and do absolutely nothing, I'll have an amazing time. However, I will be doing a lot, so rock and roll!
Thank god for the new season of LOST. It's turning out to be as amazing as I thought it would be. Unlike a bunch of other people, I have not lost interest in the show with all its awkward twists and turns (Although you almost lost me at Mr. Eko's demise... and wasn't he building a church with Charlie? Oh, guess that doesn't matter now anyway.) but I've stayed through it and have been through everything. No other show has made me actually watch it every week, and that's saying something. Well, then Heroes came along, but this was first. It put my faith back into a career that I may have one day in film. If this is the direction Hollywood's going, I have faith that there's a place for me there.
Anyway, I hope for positive energy to be sent my way for my auditions. I will need it.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Waiting In A Cafeteria
that my life has been taking. So here I am. Wow.
It'll be done soon. All I can say is that this thing isn't downright
bad, just silly mediocre.
I hope your day is better.
Just a day
Nothing really to report today. I've been doing a little searching for an external hard drive, especially if I'm going to be in the online video buying crowd now. I was drooling a bit at this but then realized that if after a year and a half I'm just now needing an external hard drive, I can probably settle for something more reasonable. Also, since I'm on a shopping spree, I've been checking out some fingerless gloves and messenger bags. But the bags are more of a fancy, I might actually get those gloves to warm my hands up at work. And can someone say deduction! WOOT!
Today's the last day of [edited for content]. Last time was kinda [edited for content] and [edited for content], but a little bit more [edited for content]. Needless to say, I'm ready for it to be [edited for content]. At least I get to leave work early.
Only 5 more days till Hawaii! I AM SO EXCITED. One more state to add to my list. It's going to be a blast! And I have the number for that interview tour theatre thingy position there that I applied for (and didn't get since I wasn't local) but, hell, it's an informational interview, and that's really a win win situation! No pressure at all!
And in those 5 days I have 5 auditions! I AM SO NERVOUS. I've revised my audition to have Edmund from King Lear and Tim's monologue, simply because people like to laugh, and the mentally challenged dude, while an awesome acting thing, isn't great for the idiots that cast a show; everyone wants to be entertained. However, if they ask for another monologue, I'll do Boy Who Ate The Moon.
And 55 more minutes until I can leave this wonderful place I spend most of my time now. I am so glad I'm doing something wonderful and benefiting the world around me by supporting people in building the tallest, most econonfriendly building in the world in the Vegas^10 place we all know and love, Dubai. What a fucking terrific place I work for.
There is a recycling bin, though, I see it over there. Whew.
Other news: I'm hongry.
Today's the last day of [edited for content]. Last time was kinda [edited for content] and [edited for content], but a little bit more [edited for content]. Needless to say, I'm ready for it to be [edited for content]. At least I get to leave work early.
Only 5 more days till Hawaii! I AM SO EXCITED. One more state to add to my list. It's going to be a blast! And I have the number for that interview tour theatre thingy position there that I applied for (and didn't get since I wasn't local) but, hell, it's an informational interview, and that's really a win win situation! No pressure at all!
And in those 5 days I have 5 auditions! I AM SO NERVOUS. I've revised my audition to have Edmund from King Lear and Tim's monologue, simply because people like to laugh, and the mentally challenged dude, while an awesome acting thing, isn't great for the idiots that cast a show; everyone wants to be entertained. However, if they ask for another monologue, I'll do Boy Who Ate The Moon.
And 55 more minutes until I can leave this wonderful place I spend most of my time now. I am so glad I'm doing something wonderful and benefiting the world around me by supporting people in building the tallest, most econonfriendly building in the world in the Vegas^10 place we all know and love, Dubai. What a fucking terrific place I work for.
There is a recycling bin, though, I see it over there. Whew.
Other news: I'm hongry.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Our Year in Rants
Even the things I want to do are pushed to the side by my Apathy. Yes, you heard me right, it's coming back. I want to make a website for my ACTING, but instead I laze around in the evenings, "recovering" from my day. I have a feeling this is why I missed all the whatcha call it, general motherfucking auditions for everything across the country, and have not even started sending my shit out to agents as a good little actor should. And yet, apathy and knowledge of my stagnating career aside, I'm still doing alright. Sure, who doesn't cry a little and get depressed a little? My emotions have been in flux lately, but they mostly turn up "groovy" when all is said and done.
Still still still, I need to get off my ass and do what I promised myself to do: better myself and my art. While applying for grad schools and auditioning certainly is a good step in the right direction, my zeal for the big schools left the little ones behind, and I'm now finding some really cool MFA programs at other places across the country that no doubt would have helped me with what I wanted. There's always another year, certainly. I am not worried about my future. If I don't get into these schools, I think I'm finally at ease. I just need to play the game some more. If programs won't let me in now, maybe a year of acting professionally and taking workshops will encourage them, especially if they're from acknowledged institutions. Like I said, play the game. Take a page from Michael Cassidy's book. He and I are both good actors, yet he's getting more work; it's all about the people you know.
Monica has an excellent mantra: 2008 is OUR year. No matter what that entials, grad school or no, this year will not only be one of change, but change for the better. With these plans in my head, I can already feel my life changing around me, and my outlook a little bit brighter. Even at my stinky, depressing, boring 9 hours in my day, my perspective will stay positive and focused on the future.
Oh yeah, and fuck woot.com today. Jesus, the worst sport even infects my favorite site.
That will change tomorrow though; it will be a new day.
Still still still, I need to get off my ass and do what I promised myself to do: better myself and my art. While applying for grad schools and auditioning certainly is a good step in the right direction, my zeal for the big schools left the little ones behind, and I'm now finding some really cool MFA programs at other places across the country that no doubt would have helped me with what I wanted. There's always another year, certainly. I am not worried about my future. If I don't get into these schools, I think I'm finally at ease. I just need to play the game some more. If programs won't let me in now, maybe a year of acting professionally and taking workshops will encourage them, especially if they're from acknowledged institutions. Like I said, play the game. Take a page from Michael Cassidy's book. He and I are both good actors, yet he's getting more work; it's all about the people you know.
Monica has an excellent mantra: 2008 is OUR year. No matter what that entials, grad school or no, this year will not only be one of change, but change for the better. With these plans in my head, I can already feel my life changing around me, and my outlook a little bit brighter. Even at my stinky, depressing, boring 9 hours in my day, my perspective will stay positive and focused on the future.
Oh yeah, and fuck woot.com today. Jesus, the worst sport even infects my favorite site.
That will change tomorrow though; it will be a new day.
You Know That Funny Feeling
warm. There's a mild sense of relief that it's not cold and then the
slow realization that someone else's ass was just comfortably sitting
there a few moments before.
Anyway, I try to think of it positively and think how great it is to
not have an icicle ass.
And how is your day?
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
At My Other Job
didn't have to get here till 4. Excellent! Thus! I'm here chilling by
Panda Express with the other SP peeps wondering when we'll actually be
doing something.
Plusses on all accounts, really. Because of the lateness, that means
we have less time with the actual doctors. Woooooooo yeah.
Anyway. I'm tired of feeling elitest and typing with my thumbs.
Snuggled to all!
No Music
I thought I heard music playing a second ago, but I guess there wasn't any. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking. I really need to get something to help me through my day, I guess.
Today's been really hectic so far. I'm double checking my auditions coming up this weekend (HOLY FUCK) and was wondering why USC hadn't sent me any confirmation on an audition timeslot. Oh right, it turns out I filled out (and paid for) the wrong application all together, and now, like a tool, have to go and do a walk in appointment (with another fee) this weekend. It's probably going to be Monday, to tell the truth. This is only a slight happiness as to not be in work, it would be that PLUS me waiting there all day for a walk in appointment because, in theory, they'll have more slots open, being a Monday.
In an hour I get off work (woohoo) to go to the UCSF program (boo) and pretend to be religious (meh). I'm happy I get off work, but I won't have much time for eats' I guess I'll have to figure something out.
I also was confused about some of my UHM application stuff not being submittted. But it turns out it had, and now is only waiting for my transcripts to arrive. I even talked to a nice Hawaiian (or work study student) at the school. Rock and roll.
See the difference? LA is weird and uninformative, Hawaii is nice and supportive. That's why it's only SEVEN MORE DAYS. WOOOYEAH.
http://www.sweet-juniper.com/ is pretty cool.
The only thing that's been keeping me really steady lately is the wonderful people in my life. Even when I am rejected and am crying and want to smash someone's face in, Monica's there to hold me and give me a piece of pie. And if I need a little help with music, she's there too! And if I need help with some food, well, we can find that somewhere else. And the new Dinner Club we've created... I'm beginning to have so much fun with those people.
All in all, I'm very stressed but very very happy. I'm glad I have wonderful people in my life.
Except for Drew, he's working on his album so I hate him.
Today's been really hectic so far. I'm double checking my auditions coming up this weekend (HOLY FUCK) and was wondering why USC hadn't sent me any confirmation on an audition timeslot. Oh right, it turns out I filled out (and paid for) the wrong application all together, and now, like a tool, have to go and do a walk in appointment (with another fee) this weekend. It's probably going to be Monday, to tell the truth. This is only a slight happiness as to not be in work, it would be that PLUS me waiting there all day for a walk in appointment because, in theory, they'll have more slots open, being a Monday.
In an hour I get off work (woohoo) to go to the UCSF program (boo) and pretend to be religious (meh). I'm happy I get off work, but I won't have much time for eats' I guess I'll have to figure something out.
I also was confused about some of my UHM application stuff not being submittted. But it turns out it had, and now is only waiting for my transcripts to arrive. I even talked to a nice Hawaiian (or work study student) at the school. Rock and roll.
See the difference? LA is weird and uninformative, Hawaii is nice and supportive. That's why it's only SEVEN MORE DAYS. WOOOYEAH.
http://www.sweet-juniper.com/ is pretty cool.
The only thing that's been keeping me really steady lately is the wonderful people in my life. Even when I am rejected and am crying and want to smash someone's face in, Monica's there to hold me and give me a piece of pie. And if I need a little help with music, she's there too! And if I need help with some food, well, we can find that somewhere else. And the new Dinner Club we've created... I'm beginning to have so much fun with those people.
All in all, I'm very stressed but very very happy. I'm glad I have wonderful people in my life.
Except for Drew, he's working on his album so I hate him.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Hrm, hm.
Had an extended weekend and am grateful. I needed an extra day to sort of jumpstart the beginning of my grad school auditions, and even though I won't take off another day this Friday, I will keep going with the knowledge that next week is Hawaii. So yeah, better than a sick day, and I can survive until next Tuesday.
Had a slightly depressing weekend with the rejection from ACT. The realization that I've met approximentally 3-4 horrible to mediocre actors that graduated from ACT didn't give me confidence in my abilities. And the later realization that they only really accept 10 people helped, but not much. And then I got over it, because they're really just casting a show, and they probably have their character actor.
Had a better day after that, Monica came and picked me up from the city so I didn't have to take the ferry in. I was happily crying for a while after the audition, but I was better after that. I didn't even want to go to that school anyway! Well, maybe I did a little. The rest of the day was pretty fantastic; relaxing and full of delicious foods that I shouldn't have eaten because they are too fatty. But what the hell. It was a great day aside from the list. Made me remember the not so good times about school. (Although Arthur Keng got called back - he's an awesome dude who's a good nervous actor, plus he's Asian, so if you're going for a character actor, that's who they need if you are unimaginative. Bitter Ben? A little. Benjamin Pither got in too. He's just a plain good ol' actor who's been around the bay area a lot longer than I have.)
Next day was fun! I got to sleep in a little and had a fun morning. My audition for San Francisco Shakespeare was good as well - probably the best I've ever done Edmund. (Thanks for the help, mum!) Who knows if they'll call me in; just gotta keep trying. If you don't try, nothing will happen.
I think a belated resolution for this year (and the years to come) is that I need to play the game of acting a little bit more. That means a little bit more schmoozing and maybe some business card printing, but it also means that I need to take classes and workshops - I've already thought of this, of course, but I haven't actually worked on bettering myself like that. I think that this is the time to really do it; so even if I don't get into grad school, I can still take a few courses, make connections, and rock shit out. (Hopefully the connections will get me to grad school. Pay it forward and all that shit.)
Dinner Club was fun last night too. It was lacking a few of our players, (3) but we had a great time at Crepevine, where I had delicious Pumpkin Pancakes. Gotta love our friends! Well, except for the ones who didn't show up.
And now I'm back at the grind. Two more SP programs this week; I get out of work early Tuesday and Thursday to do some acting. That's nice, even if the acting if not exactly on track I wanted to be. But that's the truth isn't it? I'm not exactly the person I wanted to be either. That's something I can work on. I want to be proud of myself again. I remember I used to be to the point of cockiness. I should not get to that level... just to feel like what I'm doing is important. Lately I've not been believing myself.
Had a slightly depressing weekend with the rejection from ACT. The realization that I've met approximentally 3-4 horrible to mediocre actors that graduated from ACT didn't give me confidence in my abilities. And the later realization that they only really accept 10 people helped, but not much. And then I got over it, because they're really just casting a show, and they probably have their character actor.
Had a better day after that, Monica came and picked me up from the city so I didn't have to take the ferry in. I was happily crying for a while after the audition, but I was better after that. I didn't even want to go to that school anyway! Well, maybe I did a little. The rest of the day was pretty fantastic; relaxing and full of delicious foods that I shouldn't have eaten because they are too fatty. But what the hell. It was a great day aside from the list. Made me remember the not so good times about school. (Although Arthur Keng got called back - he's an awesome dude who's a good nervous actor, plus he's Asian, so if you're going for a character actor, that's who they need if you are unimaginative. Bitter Ben? A little. Benjamin Pither got in too. He's just a plain good ol' actor who's been around the bay area a lot longer than I have.)
Next day was fun! I got to sleep in a little and had a fun morning. My audition for San Francisco Shakespeare was good as well - probably the best I've ever done Edmund. (Thanks for the help, mum!) Who knows if they'll call me in; just gotta keep trying. If you don't try, nothing will happen.
I think a belated resolution for this year (and the years to come) is that I need to play the game of acting a little bit more. That means a little bit more schmoozing and maybe some business card printing, but it also means that I need to take classes and workshops - I've already thought of this, of course, but I haven't actually worked on bettering myself like that. I think that this is the time to really do it; so even if I don't get into grad school, I can still take a few courses, make connections, and rock shit out. (Hopefully the connections will get me to grad school. Pay it forward and all that shit.)
Dinner Club was fun last night too. It was lacking a few of our players, (3) but we had a great time at Crepevine, where I had delicious Pumpkin Pancakes. Gotta love our friends! Well, except for the ones who didn't show up.
And now I'm back at the grind. Two more SP programs this week; I get out of work early Tuesday and Thursday to do some acting. That's nice, even if the acting if not exactly on track I wanted to be. But that's the truth isn't it? I'm not exactly the person I wanted to be either. That's something I can work on. I want to be proud of myself again. I remember I used to be to the point of cockiness. I should not get to that level... just to feel like what I'm doing is important. Lately I've not been believing myself.
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