Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Our Year in Rants

Even the things I want to do are pushed to the side by my Apathy. Yes, you heard me right, it's coming back. I want to make a website for my ACTING, but instead I laze around in the evenings, "recovering" from my day. I have a feeling this is why I missed all the whatcha call it, general motherfucking auditions for everything across the country, and have not even started sending my shit out to agents as a good little actor should. And yet, apathy and knowledge of my stagnating career aside, I'm still doing alright. Sure, who doesn't cry a little and get depressed a little? My emotions have been in flux lately, but they mostly turn up "groovy" when all is said and done.

Still still still, I need to get off my ass and do what I promised myself to do: better myself and my art. While applying for grad schools and auditioning certainly is a good step in the right direction, my zeal for the big schools left the little ones behind, and I'm now finding some really cool MFA programs at other places across the country that no doubt would have helped me with what I wanted. There's always another year, certainly. I am not worried about my future. If I don't get into these schools, I think I'm finally at ease. I just need to play the game some more. If programs won't let me in now, maybe a year of acting professionally and taking workshops will encourage them, especially if they're from acknowledged institutions. Like I said, play the game. Take a page from Michael Cassidy's book. He and I are both good actors, yet he's getting more work; it's all about the people you know.

Monica has an excellent mantra: 2008 is OUR year. No matter what that entials, grad school or no, this year will not only be one of change, but change for the better. With these plans in my head, I can already feel my life changing around me, and my outlook a little bit brighter. Even at my stinky, depressing, boring 9 hours in my day, my perspective will stay positive and focused on the future.

Oh yeah, and fuck today. Jesus, the worst sport even infects my favorite site.

That will change tomorrow though; it will be a new day.

1 comment:

Apothecary of Discombobulation said...

Yeah, it took me a while to make a website for my theater stuff too.

Freewebs has a pretty good setup. I suggest using them.