Hrm, hm.

Had an extended weekend and am grateful. I needed an extra day to sort of jumpstart the beginning of my grad school auditions, and even though I won't take off another day this Friday, I will keep going with the knowledge that next week is Hawaii. So yeah, better than a sick day, and I can survive until next Tuesday.

Had a slightly depressing weekend with the rejection from ACT. The realization that I've met approximentally 3-4 horrible to mediocre actors that graduated from ACT didn't give me confidence in my abilities. And the later realization that they only really accept 10 people helped, but not much. And then I got over it, because they're really just casting a show, and they probably have their character actor.

Had a better day after that, Monica came and picked me up from the city so I didn't have to take the ferry in. I was happily crying for a while after the audition, but I was better after that. I didn't even want to go to that school anyway! Well, maybe I did a little. The rest of the day was pretty fantastic; relaxing and full of delicious foods that I shouldn't have eaten because they are too fatty. But what the hell. It was a great day aside from the list. Made me remember the not so good times about school. (Although Arthur Keng got called back - he's an awesome dude who's a good nervous actor, plus he's Asian, so if you're going for a character actor, that's who they need if you are unimaginative. Bitter Ben? A little. Benjamin Pither got in too. He's just a plain good ol' actor who's been around the bay area a lot longer than I have.)

Next day was fun! I got to sleep in a little and had a fun morning. My audition for San Francisco Shakespeare was good as well - probably the best I've ever done Edmund. (Thanks for the help, mum!) Who knows if they'll call me in; just gotta keep trying. If you don't try, nothing will happen.

I think a belated resolution for this year (and the years to come) is that I need to play the game of acting a little bit more. That means a little bit more schmoozing and maybe some business card printing, but it also means that I need to take classes and workshops - I've already thought of this, of course, but I haven't actually worked on bettering myself like that. I think that this is the time to really do it; so even if I don't get into grad school, I can still take a few courses, make connections, and rock shit out. (Hopefully the connections will get me to grad school. Pay it forward and all that shit.)

Dinner Club was fun last night too. It was lacking a few of our players, (3) but we had a great time at Crepevine, where I had delicious Pumpkin Pancakes. Gotta love our friends! Well, except for the ones who didn't show up.

And now I'm back at the grind. Two more SP programs this week; I get out of work early Tuesday and Thursday to do some acting. That's nice, even if the acting if not exactly on track I wanted to be. But that's the truth isn't it? I'm not exactly the person I wanted to be either. That's something I can work on. I want to be proud of myself again. I remember I used to be to the point of cockiness. I should not get to that level... just to feel like what I'm doing is important. Lately I've not been believing myself.