Thursday, February 28, 2008

Future Shit

Wow, coming as a surprise, the future's been on my mind a lot. Were you surprised? I am.

Been going through other options in case I don't get into an MFA program. I still hope I do, but in case I don't, I still want to try and continue on my career path. I don't know what that means, but I do know it means more than just getting shitty roles in a shitty market for theatre.

Internships are a way to this, I guess. I've only been an intern once, for the costume shop, and I loved it. It was a great job with cool shit to do. The only problem is that I'm not a costume designer, nor am I a tailor. It is a skill set that will undoubtably come in handy, but I don't have that burning desire for it, like I do for acting, or shit, even stage managing. I could see myself as a stage management intern.

I guess it's the same ol thing that passion for the art and drive will not make me successful. It's luck and who you know. And maybe an internship will get me in with someone who would know me. Or maybe an MFA program will pick me up, and then more people will know me. I just want to do the art I love. That's all I want. I shouldn't have to fight to do my passion, I should just be able to do it!

I don't regret going to Truman. I just wish I made a different decision. Even an arts school would have been a better fit for me, and a better thing for my future. But I was blinded by silliness. God! Even staying at Truman for their MAE... I would have a master's now, and be able to teach, or at least be able to say I have a master's. No use for regrets though. All I can do is plug on ahead. No regrets, just frustration. I think frustration's going to be okay.

I just need to get out of this area. I'm glad I moved, but I think it wasn't a step in the right direction for my career, especially if I want to live fully from my art. This is NOT the place to do it.

Well, no time like the present to start changing your life. I'm going to sign up for some classes and see where that takes me.

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