Home Again Home Again

It's odd, preparing to sleep in a bed I haven't slept in for a month.. or two. It's odd. It really is. Staying at mom's, because Monica and I's house is spooky (zzz) when it's just one person there.

Things are good; I'm going to start working for Bruce's brother on Friday. Pay's bad, but it's in cash, and fun and delicious. New skills, all that shit. This will come well, especially after I just paid my student loan bill, the last one for a bit before my deferment starts.

Still feel a little weirded out about working for this little money at this time in my life. I need to save up as much as I can get. Sure as hell I wasn't weirded out about getting work. Perhaps that's why I've been... not avoiding this phone call to this company in the city, but just not super eager to get contacted with them. I have dreams and shit that I wish I could accomplish. I have dreams that I don't have to do admin shit for the rest of my life. But... tomorrow I'm going to call, and set up an interview, and see what's going on.

Aaaand, working with Kele tomorrow on music! I don't know how we're going to start, but I printed out somet stuff that I'm thinking of using for auditions. She's the teacher though, so starting at the beginning always works well.

Title

I haven't watched Criminal Minds ever, and there's probably a reason; it's not a super great show, but since Wil Wheaton was a guest star on an episode a week ago, I downloaded the episode and am watching it now. Yeeesh, hardcore shit. And I like Wil a lot, reading his blog about his technique and then watching his performance is a really neat exercise.

But fuck it this show doesn't pump up the melodrama when shit happens. Meh, William Mapother is pretty awesome too, and Joe Mantegna is pretty great. Everyone else though has the traditional Frowney Eyes that comes with a crime drama. Especially a Crime Drama. I don't think this will be a massive download that comes with my love of a series (Battlestar Galactica, LOST, etc.). A good sampling of it though, but if I want crime drama, I'm going to stick with my CSI.

Also, I can make it to the Mountain Play Benefit, a wonderful decision that makes me happy, especially if I can pull of the song well again.

42nd Street Moon starts soon. I hope I like it. I think I will.

Back again.

I think I've been hung up rehearsing and such to really update, and to be completely honest, it's been more of the same. I've not had much update from the job front, and I continue to apply for at least 10 places a day, more if I'm really on the ball. But for the most part lately, I've been having fun singing "Fantasies Come True" with Monica, and working on Goodnight, Daniel. It's going to be a good show, not a great one, but that's okay, it's a very new piece, and new pieces are hard.... the author is lucky to have a really good guy as a director, who really loves the piece.

Breast of Broadway was last night, and was really really fun. Deb said I was perfect with my delivery, but the most important part is that I had a blast. When it boils down to it, having fun was the goal of the whole evening, and when I stopped being such an ass and dwelling on things, realizing that no matter what we're going to do well, then it turned out better than we could have possibly even imagined. And seeing Monica's face at the end, full of pride and love, was the true prize for me. Plus, free booze was cool.

So, job interview this afternoon with Bruce's brother. Then rehearsal. Then I think I'm going to buy a chair. Short post, but I've always had the problem of writing less than necessary.

Oh right, we went to Vegas last week. Did I forget to mention that?

Also I'm starting to exercise again. Went back to week 3 of hundredpushups.com. I couldn't make it through the first day... so I figure I'll just repeat the day until I can. I'll try again on Wednesday. In the meantime, I'll have a walk today and try and be easy on my stomach when I get cravings for fatty shit.

It's not like I took a long break. After all, we've been pretty active all weekend.

Wow, I just went a while without thinking about theatre. Maybe I need to find more passions - variety is the spice of life, after all!

I'm Fucking Awesome

I didn't get called back for Into the Woods. I've evolved from being disappointed to being curious about who these fuckers are! Luckily, they've posted everyone who's been called back online, so I can do a little research, and for the most part, I'm a little too young for what they're looking for, and probably too old for some of their other parts. Story of my acting life. It'll be better later in life, I'd imagine, but it's frustrating now, especially since that's my Favorite Musical. Well, One Of My Favorite.

There's one hope; the post at the bottom of the page says they're not calling back anyone for a few parts, particularly Jack. This could be simply because the parts are already cast, but maybe not, and maybe I've been cast as Jack. In any case, I emailed them asking as much... well not asking if I had the part, but asking if those who had not been called back could still be considered. Wow, acting is boring, isn't it? I need to start up my own theatre company so I can have that stress.

In any case, I think my disappointment (especially because I recognize some names on that list...) is just focused in a different form now, instead of pouting, I get curious. This is not to say I don't pout, that still happens a lot, but it just seems like in these situations I don't feel that emotion draining-ness that I've felt so often. Maybe it's a natural evolution, and maybe someday I really won't feel curiosity or poutness, just the general bummer and release, as you realize there will be more opportunities, and maybe ones that will come when you're better trained. As an actor, it's being prepared when luck strikes; that's something you can control. And because I talked through my bummer, I'm feeling better, and is why I'm Fucking Awesome.

I'm wearing a necklace I bought in hawaii

Just got called into Impact to read for Lysander. Kind of a funny situation, but it should be interesting. And besides, I'll be able to get myself seen there; always a good thing. I do indeed love that theatre, and hope to work there someday. Also! I have an audition this Friday for Into the Woods. I don't know what to sing yet... I'm debating between "No More" or "Unworthy of your Love." Either would work; I sing both pretty well.

So anyway, this post isn't a long one, I have to leave in about a half an hour in order to get to the workshop thing absurdly early like I usually do. Meh, maybe I'll leave at 5:15. If I'm late, I didn't make a monetary reservation. Man. Why am I so weird about this thing tonight? I'm just nervous. We say we like change, but it's always a little odd and scary. I'm of course worried for the worst, that this teacher will be weird and belittling. But you know what's the strangest? Totally nervous about working in front of people; part of the course is to be on the mic during the evening.

Whatever though. If it goes well, I've done something good with my life during this downtime. And if it sucks, I'll never have to see them again. Funny. I barely have enough cash right now... I don't know why I'm doing this tonight. But. It is pretty cheap. That's the benefit of going to one of these pickup workshops.

And 15 places applied today.

Sigh.

Does anybody read this? I guess it's a personal journal.

Last night was pretty bad. It's been a while since I've had my time wasted like that for an audition... or anything for that matter. I won't go into details, since I did my bitching last night to Monica (thanks!), but it's safe to say that they lost a pretty good actor last night, unless they give equity points or something. I mean, they do have a good reputation, but it doesn't help if that reputation is flushed down the toilet in an night of disorganization and making people wait only to not see them. Seriously, I sang 3 songs for them at the audition, did they need me to drive 30 miles just to see me sing one more? Whatever, I'm done with it.

My plan for today was to go to the DMV and finally get my license changed to a California one, but I read that Wednesday at 10:30 is the best time to go to the DMV; presumably, by Wednesday, people are working hard on some project at their jobs, succumbing to the pressure of work like I did for so long. So instead, I'm going to continue the job hunt (3 so far this morning) and pride myself the fact that I cleaned the apartment a little this morning.

I'm obscenely excited for the rock poster festival this weekend; Monica gets press passes or something for being with the Marin History Museum, and I guess I get to come and be eye candy. Honestly, that's what this outfit's for, right? Although the crotchless panties really ride up... what are you gonna do, it's a free ticket! The rest of Saturday's going to be a little hectic: pumpkin festival, and then going to see Tony n' Tina's Wedding at Pier 39, to study for my new show. Buahahaha. I assume it won't be a long evening, and I should probably check to see when it starts. 7. I would have gone at 8. Thanks blog, for making me take a look!

Nothing else. I lead a boring life now that Midsummer's over. At least I have a ton of new friends.

Did not put enough peanut butter and jelly on this peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Pretty much the title is what's been going through my mind as I eat my lunch. What was I thinking? Was I thinking we'd stretch the pb&j longer than necessary? I opened the stuff for the first time this morning. I'm a fool, and now I only taste bread with a hint of the joy that should be beneath the two slices. Also there looks like there's mold on this bread. Yum. We have to eat this shit fast. Not literal shit though, that would be grossness.

Oh! I just came up with an idea. BRB.

Idea implemented. Booya.

So anyway, I have my callback for La Cage aux Folles tonight. I hope hope hope they really consider me for Albin - the Nathan Lane role in the movie. He's the intelligent, cool dude. And I can finally play a part that's written as gay, rather than put gay subtext in the lines. Awesome. I don't do that all the time, just when it's fun.

And Midsummer is over. Closing night was fun, if a slightly unresponsive audience. And I already miss my new friends that I made throughout this run, and I'm already jealous that some of them are now working at Berkeley Rep for their next shows as understudies. But bleh, it'll happen for me someday, and they deserve to succeed. They're great people. (How's the new 'tude workin? Haha!)

Currently I'm studying my songs and sides, and in a bit I'll look over the script for Goodnight, Daniel. So much stuff on my plate, it's weird to think that this is over, but I have so much left in the year, and so much coming up next year, hopefully... In any case, gotta keep plugging along and enjoy myself, and enjoy this break from the working world to help pushing myself into a positive place in my life.

When it rains.

Had my audition for Tony n' Tina yesterday. Blew them out of the water, got a call today saying they want me for a role. I'm going to see the show next Saturday and see if I like it, if I want to be in it. I've done some research, and from what I've heard is that if they like you now, they like you for a long time, and that you can take breaks from the show in order to pursue other projects; they have tons of people they can call on for a performance. 50 bucks a show. Not bad.

I still haven't figured out what my schedule would be, but I think I'm going to call them tomorrow to see what's going on, and talk to them about when I would start, what I would play, etc. Even though I'm sure they'd talk to me on Saturday about the whole thing. Needless to say, I'm pretty excited - there's a lot of stupid theatre in this world, but getting experience at a long running thing like that, experience with improv, dinner theatre, and tourist theatre... it's something that I need to learn if I'm going to stay in this business for any length of time. So yes, excited. Plus, I'll be working right next to that mini donut stand. Delish.

I was just sidetracked for 15 minutes reading some stuff about video games. This in turn happened because I'm easily sidetracked when I'm a little drunk. The drunkness happened because I went to a bar tonight after the first act of Midsummer. I didn't do the second act because it's raining pretty hard here and it was getting dangerous. I've never had a show called after the first act before, but I felt pretty good about it, and pretty good about the beverage I had afterwards with a MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL PLAYER friend of Joe's. He loved the show, and will come back on Sunday to see the rest of it. He plays for San Diego. He loved me. It was neat to be in the presence of a bit of a celebrity, even though I don't like baseball. He seemed to like me as a friend, and honestly, I'd consider us getting closer to friendship... maybe acquaintanceship.

In any case. I'm still a little buzzed. Hence the fact that I had to retype that last sentence thrice. Thrice. I'm weird.

Okay, less type, more relax.

2 in one day.

I'm leaving at 6 to go to this stand in thing. I hope it's fun; I'm a little apprehensive about this whole stand in thing. I mean, if they needed a stand in, wouldn't the stage manager do it? But whatever, helping is helping, and having a few bucks in my jeans is fine enough for me. Just have fun is my new thing. Is it? It is. At least that's what I'm trying to be.

Wow, Eureka's on in the background, and a really cool scene just came on. Wow. I'm sad I missed this show... or maybe not, since now I have all of them and can watch SO MUCH AT ONCE. And now this next scene is really good. What a cool show. Makes me feel better about the state of entertainment now a days. And that I have a place in it eventually. For example, do you remember when they used to make fun of fat people, like really make fun of fat people? You don't see that much anymore. Or at all, except maybe in some show that has bad writing. We're finally evolving. Let's hope that keeps up. Besides, fat people are sexy. Our bodies are hot, no matter the shapes.

Tomorrow I have a day full of fun. An interview for the Mountain Play for some kind fof work, not sure if it's just stuffing envelopes or actual admin stuff, but hopefully it'll be competitive with... Starbucks or something.

Aaaand, I just got an email from 6th Street Playhouse saying that they want me to audition for La Cage Aux Follies. Not sure if I'm quite prepared for an audition like this, especially since it's a huge dance show, but, it would be a nice free workout this Saturday. I'll think about it and send them an email tonight, why not? It seems more of a step in the wrong direction for my career though, plus it's a fucking long commute. Perhaps I've just given myself an answer. We'll see how I feel later about the whole thing. In the meantime, downloading the music to check out the style of the piece to see if it's something I want to be a part of.

Oddly Very Disappointed

Didn't get into the St. Louis touring thing. I didn't think I would, given the strangeness I've been given from the people in charge there, but whatever. The funny thing is, the response from them was such a copy paste email saying, "actors from Chicago or Louisville often times come in and audition in person." Yes, people do come from places other than the St. Louis area, but I called specifically to ask if I could submit something electronically, and they said yes. Their other excuses were the normal ones: we need to make an ensemble of 25 characters, needs to be tight knit, etc., but as its so often true, they probably just saw that I lived here, and didn't give me a second glance. Either that or they already have their fat guy. Because of that, I have a feeling if I did audition in person, I wouldn't have been given a callback.

It's no point being bitter, and I'm not, but it's just strange how I can figure out what their thinking so easily. Maybe it's different. Maybe they thought I was spectacular but just couldn't use me. After all, I think I'm spectacular... maybe it's just a monologue thing. Maybe my monologues just aren't as wonderful as I think they are. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm living 2000 miles away at the moment that gives them pause when casting me. Or maybe they're just shallow. Sure, lets say all of the above. Although, I do think my monologues are pretty rockin, if I do say so myself.

Tonight I'm doing some stand in work for Rocky. I'm not too sure how to feel about it. It's with friends, but they won't be there, and I hear the director's a bit of a give an inch, asks for a mile type. So dunno what's that going to be about. I'm just happy I get to help out my friends whom I see very little of now a days; our circle just doesn't intersect.

Man, why am I so bummed at the St. Louis thing? It's not like it would have been much. Maybe it's me missing where I grew up, and this would be an opportunity to work and play there every day for a little bit. Plus equity points, that always is appealing.