More old posts

And this is from March 8

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Good Thing of today: we're getting a lunch. I completely thought we were going to blast through till 6 (jesus! It's 3 right now) without any break. So yes, delicious food. Although ANY food at this point will make me happy. Changing one's diet is always hard, but for someone like me, who was so used to super fatty foods almost all the time... I'm just happy I'm more used to it, and it's been paying off (15 pounds gone, can you fucking believe that?! It's just as easy as eating sensibly and exercising as much as you can, although lately my exercise regime has been Just Get up Every Once In A While, and Would It Kill You To Not Eat So Many Snacks has been my diet. I want to step it up, if I want to lose as much as I want, and to get more fit... been a lazy bum lately. I guess that's coming with the depression that comes from no job and no jobs on the horizon.

Now they're giving notes, so I guess I should pay more attention. Bleh, usually they don't notice me up here, and I should enjoy this downtime; when the show starts, I'll have so much to do with all these different scene changes. But when it comes down to it, I'm sure I'll be streamlined enough to have some writing time as the longer scenes are going on. Whatever, we'll see how it goes throughout dress rehearsal and the first few shows.

I can't believe we're opening. I never thought this would happen. There are some shows that you think will never go up... and this was definitely one of them. It seemed too far off, especially when I originally was hired as SM. So far away, and now it's here. I betcha that's going to happen more and more during my life. Yep.

Bringing another online

This one is from March 7

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I love my laptop, and I think it's mostly because it's a simple way to get my ideas down, or anything down while I'm waiting. My 9 cell battery even came, but I'm still using my old 3 cell with a wall plug; thinking the new battery's only going to be for travel or if I won't be near an outlet for an entire day... which now that I think about it seems a little odd in this day and age, but you never know. Hey, at least it cost the same as a 6 cell, so I think I'm getting my money's worth. And even if I'm not, I can still brag for a 7-9 hour charge with the FUCKING HUGE battery.

Maybe it was a bad purchase; been getting a lot of flak for it from my friends, but when it comes down to it, it's already done, and I really am not going to send it back, always good to have a spare battery, even if it pushes up the back of my cute little netbook.

Wow, been writing a lot about this little computer of mine; I guess I know what's been on my mind lately. It's funny, when I'm not using it, I feel like I'm wasting it, but when it is used, I am so happy to have it... so I think it was the right decision. Even if it wasn't, warranty's void after installing this ram... so haha to me.

This rehearsal, while slow, is very productive; I'm proud of this production. Taking one more step back and giving the actors more time to explore and create with the new space was the right idea. Having more solid direction is better as well; gotta hand it to our director, she really has improved, and is learning something new every day. Maybe she'll be a great director after all, it's a little late for perfection for this show, but everyone has to start somewhere. So GOOD FOR YOU, Dot! You're working hard, and it's paying off – this show's going to be a great one.

However, from delays and an extra long lunch break, we're going to be much later than intended; we're supposed to be done at 6, ten minutes from now... I doubt this will happen on time... and it's more important to have a run in than getting out on time... right? Well, I know where my vote is, really. More organization would mean a watchmen showing for me tonight, as is, I'll be lucky to be home by 9.

Also, I love OpenOffice. Friends don't let friends use Word.

I wrote this March 4.. and am just posting it.

This was from one of the last rehearsals. Over today I guess I'll put up some of my entries that I've been writing without internet access.

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There's no more focus this evening; the play is done, and we should go home. The problem is... we have very amateur directors. One is so much better than the other, but still, her insights are hardly something trained. One somewhat trained, the other just running on something incredibly linear and unimaginative. It's frustrating, and every single time I'm here I wish I didn't agree to something like this. I think mom thinks the same way.

The biggest problem and frustration is really the idea that this how might be successful, as successful as shows can get at the EXIT. The type of people that come to the show are definitely the type that would like tripe like this. Who knows? Worse shows have been given greenlights, and many “professional” theatres around this area would put something as awful as this up; they seem to not really know what the theatre world should be, they're just caught up in what would be neat – oh it's new, so it must be fantastic!

Let's hope she'll lose interest after this piece. Well, even if she goes on to found a groundbreaking company, I've already made the choice of never coming back and working for her. Just too unprofessional. This of course, is being typed when they're giving notes; who's the professional now? Tee hee.

Also, I'm using my new laptop to type this, and couldn't be happier. Now when the new battery comes in, I'll charge it, and see how long it lasts in a setting like this; maybe one of the show days that will last for fucking ever. Well, typing's fun. Next up, playing up some videos on this thing.

Rehearsing Rehearsal

There's no more focus this evening; the play is done, and we should go home. The problem is... we have very amateur directors. One is so much better than the other, but still, her insights are hardly something trained. One somewhat trained, the other just running on something incredibly linear and unimaginative. It's frustrating, and every single time I'm here I wish I didn't agree to something like this. I think mom thinks the same way.

The biggest problem and frustration is really the idea that this how might be successful, as successful as shows can get at the EXIT. The type of people that come to the show are definitely the type that would like tripe like this. Who knows? Worse shows have been given greenlights, and many “professional” theatres around this area would put something as awful as this up; they seem to not really know what the theatre world should be, they're just caught up in what would be neat – oh it's new, so it must be fantastic!

Let's hope she'll lose interest after this piece. Well, even if she goes on to found a groundbreaking company, I've already made the choice of never coming back and working for her. Just too unprofessional. This of course, is being typed when they're giving notes; who's the professional now? Tee hee.

Also, I'm using my new laptop to type this, and couldn't be happier. Now when the new battery comes in, I'll charge it, and see how long it lasts in a setting like this; maybe one of the show days that will last for fucking ever. Well, typing's fun. Next up, playing up some videos on this thing.

Many things have happened since I've last posted, mostly having to do with my inner turmoils in buying a netbook (MSI Wind) and the "what the fuck" or "didn't I want a gaming laptop" or "why did I pay for this?" but it all turned out well, and I now have a really cool netbook, with a 9 cell battery in the mail for my longer trips. I'm super excited about this prospect.

I spent the bulk of the day updating and fiddling around with stuff, eventually coming to a roadblock in my computerdom when I tried to... er... "flash" the "bios" to give my Wind a turbo mode as well as an eco mode to save battery life. I wasn't able to get the bios to work... I think I might actually need a helping hand; stabbing in the dark on these things isn't always the best way to get things done.

And right now, since I've been awake doing computer stuff all night, I've zipped from mom's to my apartment and am trying to set up the wireless here, but the airport express isn't working. So, resetting it yet again to see what's going on. This has been a continuing problem for a while now, but it's sometimes fun troubleshooting things like this. So. Here we are.

Back from the Midwest, and fruitless (except for the dried fruit in my bag). Over the weekend I used my dad's laptop, and got a little laptop crazy for a while, but I think that will go away once I get to my wonderful computer.

I am still a little laptop crazy though, and Monica's is really pretty; I may have to go to best buy and get the same one she has. But then again, I really don't need one - I don't travel enough, and when I need to use a computer, there's one that's handy. So... I think I'll wait for a little bit and see if I genuinely need one. In the meantime, maybe I'll find a job so it will be justified. Here's my promise to myself though: if I get more stage management gigs, I'll buy a laptop for rehearsals.

Because of my frustration this weekend, I've brainstormed what the reason I may be not as successful as I want to be is because of my weight... so I've stepped up working out, and it has been pretty wonderful so far, and not as hard as I thought it would be; I'm stronger than I realize.

Now just to get a little bit more cardio in my days. A walk or some DDR each day would be useful.

Hi Folks, I'm in St. Louis

I love my home.  As stated before, I love my dad and Laurie (stepmom) as well.  But there's something about being home that cures what ails you.  Well, except if you hated your home, but I've been lucky to have had a pretty good time here, aside from the times when I didn't.  

Every time I turn a corner here in St. Louis, I see something I remember, or something is new, but great; this place is actually starting to look like a real city.  I can definitely see myself, after becoming a mega super box office smash, coming back here and starting my own theatre company, or branching out with the People's Theatre company.  This is a good place.  

The only downside that's been happening here is that many of my old friends have been a little flakey in getting back to me and meeting up.  Not Nick, he's still awesome, just incredibly busy, but some of my really good friends from college who live around here, they're either nonexistent or being very cold in our correspondence.  Strange.  Maybe they're jealous.  Yeah, sure, that's it.

I'm not letting me spoil this trip.  Even if I stay close to home, it's still fun to walk around this old neighborhood, or take a short drive to the Zoo, or the Science Center or the ANYTHING.  It's a really good place.  

Mostly about Dad

Gathering dust in the corner, my ever increasingly unused blog. I guess I'll say something today, why not?

I've been busy as a sexy bee lately SMing Lead, Dot's new play, of which my mom is a major character, and a bunch of our friends are the rest of the parts. It's been fun so far, but as in all SM gigs, I've seen over and over again at how I'd run the rehearsal differently, or how that I could be a pretty bitchin director. After all, I do have a lot of experience in this field. Maybe someday, especially with the great news... that's not solidified, so I really shouldn't send it out there in the world, but let's just say that a new theatre company may be out in the wild pretty soon. Now if only I could get dreamweaver to work, and set up a website so that it really WILL be out there in the world.

Still haven't found an official slot for the MWTA, but I'm on their list, and that's a good thing; because of this, I'm heading out to St. Louis next weekend, serving the purpose of auditioning for a fuckton of theatre companies, but also seeing my family whom I miss very much. I haven't seen my dad in almost a year. That's a funny thing to think about, especially since I don't really think about it too often, and then have pangs of overwhelming homesickness.

Dad and I had never been close until I moved away to college, and even then, we were really only vaguely friends. I remember when I was very young having tons of fun with my dad, memories of water gun fights, or road trips to Kansas City, or trips to the Science Center where he dropped his slice of pizza on his lap - remember that, dad? Then, as all things do, we grew apart, as I grew into my own person. It happens overnight, really, and it's an evolution to get back. But we never stopped loving each other, that's for sure. I always had the luxury of knowing my dad loves me. Not a lot of people can say that.

When I started my professional actor/writer/administrative life, we talked less and less, but the times we did talk were great, or at least funny. I started to think about him at least every day; wondering how he's doing, what he's been up to, the usual stuff when it comes to people you care about that happen to live 2000 miles away. More and more when we talk on the phone it's about discussions that normal people have with their fathers: advice on career, girl troubles, money issues... and I love my dad, and am lucky to say that.

He married again, after my mom and him were divorced. Laurie is a good person, and even though we clashed a lot, we love each other. I love how people evolve, and especially I love it that I've evolved.

It'll be great to see them.

Grumpy Gus

So um yeah.

I've been having some great auditions lately, and yet none have been coming to fruition. Great shit. Great feedback, people saying "spot on" stuff like that. And yet, nothing comes of it.

Granted, these people are mostly idiots in any aspect, so if they hire me, it's whether or not they deign to use me on a whim, because I smiled the right way, or said something they particularly liked. Well, moreso than normal like; I do believe they like me, I do believe we're friends... but something that amuses them in particular.

It's just been silly lately, that's all. When hearing about this guy who gets cast here all the time (yes, I know, people other than me can get cast) but he's not better than anyone else, he just is from LA. And I wrote about these people last year, in regards to the same person, who is now, in fact, Don Quixote in the Mountain play. I still think he's a very pleasant fellow, but way too young for that role/can't sing.

Whatever. Something good will happen sometime. It's bound to.

And the first step is starting an experiment. I will update to see if it works.

Horrible Rampant Unemployment... but still I bitch.

It's taken me a total of 3 days to hate my new job.  Granted, I had some hatred for it before I even started: part time, $10 an hour, almost nothing to do.  Some people might think this is a good thing, the whole nothing to do.  Yes, I got very good at it at SWA, for sure, but there's something different here.  Maybe it's because the computer desk I have here is so unergonomical that I'm ending up with huge painful marks on the bottom of my wrists.  Or maybe it's because I've had little to no training as to what I'm supposed to be doing today/at all.  Or maybe it's because I actually have some semblance of how work should be filled with doing something that I feel bad when I'm checking my google reader.  Also, the chair is bad.

I've had a pretty good couple of weeks aside from that.  It's been pretty relaxing, and I've had a few auditions that have been going pretty well.  Aside from the fact that last Decemberish I forgot to sign up for the TBA auditions, I feel pretty good as to how my career is going, especially with the opportunities I've been having lately, and the fact that I've had to turn down projects.  Rad.  

Tomorrow David wants me to come in and help with lights, and I am completely down with that; I love doing light hangs and such... the poopy part of this is that I'm feeling kinda shitty - yes, it might just be because I'm at a place that I don't really want to spend the next... jesus, 5 and a half hours, but my sickeyness has been a bit more than just appearing at work - bad last night, bad this morning... who knows.  If I get sick, so be it, and I won't go.

Tuesday Monica and I went on a date to see Burn The Floor at the Post Street Theatre.  It was an amazing dance performance, albeit a little flashy at times, and one that I need to post on EDGE tonight.

Aaand I need to make it up to Target or Best Buy (probably Target; have something to return there) to bite the bullet and buy a new printer.  The one I got from Kele (thanks, Kele!) just exploded and will not for the life of it do anything other than stutter while trying to munch down paper.  It's a hand me down anyway.  Here's my conversation with the poor ol' girl:

Me:  Hey printer, print out this application, will ya?

Printer: I LIKE THE FLOWERS.

Me:  Time for the shotgun, ol' girl.