This went a lot of directions.

Did I mention I had an audition on Saturday? Did I also mention how well it went? Did I also mention that they called me the very same day to come in today and read for Bottom? Didn't I mention that? Oh, it's a pity, because it's true. The callbacks are tonight from 4-8, so I'm going to get there at a fashionable-yet-just-got-out-of-work style of 6, with slightly rumpled clothes and haggard features. It's all the rage with most of young adults age 22-28. And up!

There's me getting distracted again and not finishing a blog post. You know, I should really just stick with microblogging, and when I go away from a page, I'll post it to show you all how short my attention span is. All 1 of my readers. Today's distraction: lolcats.

As per usual, I'm a little worried that I haven't been vocal enough about when I'm going to leave. I think, long ago, I said I was going to take a half a day on tuesday (tomorrow) and I'm pretty sure that I said that. I'm almost super positive that I said that. Almost... whatever. I think, as always, I am making a mountain out of a molehill, and in the long run, they do want to keep me because they don't want to train anyone new. Oh, and I'm a pretty good employee I guess.

Okay, THAT 40 minute non blogging break wasn't my fault; I needed to install a keyboard tray. However, the last 10 minutes have really been my fault; I was sipping tea in the kitchen. I made it too strong, but that's okay, it'll give me the boost I need until I feel horrible crippling boredom again. And then I'll do another blog entry! Wow! Fun!

Woo. I can tell it's going to be a weird day today. Tons of people meandering around my desk and behind to go to the supply room. Makes me want a different position of a desk so no one can see what I'm doing. Not that what I'm doing is BAD. I mean, come on! It's just... I'm looking up information to better the company... yeah. And the more I write, that means the faster I get for when I need to actually write the really important boring shit that they make me do here every single day. That, and I've still been messing around with Ikariam. Although, that game's been a little boring lately, I'd rather just bite the bullet and go out and play civ.

I think my next step in being bored at the office, however, is getting a portable 1gig drive and put some emulators and roms on it, so I can run it directly from the flash drive. And then when people aren't looking/are at lunch, I can totally play video games all day. The problem, however, is saving my progress; if I want to play later in the day at home, I'd have to reload it. Hm. It's something to think about, for sure.

CSULA still hasn't been back to me about the MFA program. It may be because my transcript got lost somewhere in the US postal system (thanks guys!) or maybe they're just taking a long time to decide. I know I had a fighting chance; I really hope I get it. I'd much rather go to a state school than UHM, even though I'd LOVE the place, I really wouldn't like the expense and being so far away from my friends. It's definetly something to mull over. Lets just hope they get back to me! Oh please oh please oh please. I think about it almost every day. I really want to get in there, especially after what Monica told me about the differences between universities and state schools - state's just nicer! And I believe it. I think that's probably very similar when it comes to state and university across the country.

And another break. I was hoping if I took a short break I'd get a call or something from LA saying I got in. I guess this trip coming up is going to be a good one - get my mind off all this shit, just go, and have fun! And maybe work on some lines too. That's pretty important for me to have those done by the time I get back - hit the ground running with these scenes and, oh right, the show that I still don't have the rehearsal schedule for. I'm in such a great state right now. BAAAGHSHDLRPOIUYFGH.

And thus ends the rambling blog post.

This is to see if I can remember this monologue

Launce from Two Gentlemen of Verona.

Nay, twill be this hour ere I've done weeping
All of the kind of hte launces have this very fault.
I hae received my proportion, like the prodigious son
And am going with Sir Proteus to the imperial court.
I think Crab, my dog, be the sourest natured dog
There is: my mother weeping, my father wailing
My sister crying, our maid howling, our cat
Ringing her hands, and did not this cruel hearted
Cur shed one tear. He is a stone, a very pebble stone.
And has no more pity in him than a dog! Why
My grandam, having no eyes, look you, wept herself
Blind at my parting. And all this while the dog sheds
Not a tear not speaks a word, but see how I lay the dust
With my tears.

I think the scancion's wrong, but I don't really care, since it's a comedic monologue, it is a little piecemeal from a longer bit.

Got in trouble yet again for taking late lunches. I'm not doing too well here.

Oh right.

I was wondering where Bonny left off to. Today's one of her class days. I totally forgot. I would have said, "Have a good weekend," yesterday. Oh well, I'm sure she will.

"Wow Ben, you sure are hidden behind that wall."

"Yep."

"Why don't you sit out here in the open more?"

"This is where they put me."

"But no one can see you."

"I know."

"Well, you should come out here."

These people really need to get a better hobby than "Talk To Ben In The Morning."

Oh! My UCSF check finally came in the mail two days ago. I'm going to rock that shit out with all sorts of delicious "putting in the bank" action! Yeah! Maybe I'll even put it in my saving's. WOO! HARDCORE SPRING BREAK!

I'm sort of scheduling my day today, and I may have to skip my walk to go to Grampa's house and check on the cat. That unfortunately also means I need to skip (again) looking at my lines at lunch. I'm not really weirded out that I haven't been looking at my lines, after all, I'm going on a trip that will probably have a LOT of boredom in it. And as we all know boredom = lines. It's just that I'm trying to be a better theatre professional, and I need to start taking this a little more seriously. After all, I'm even going to an audition tomorrow that I don't want to go to, simply because the director is someone I would like to work with. This is how it's done!

The main weirdness is that it's Midsummer. I am so tired of that show. I've seen it at least 10 times, all of them with varying degrees of success, but all pretty good. It's not a matter of not liking the show, it's more of it's done to motherfucking death. It's not the only good funny Shakespeare show out there guys! And also, oh wait, Shakespeare isn't the only public domain playwright that is awesome? What about Marlowe? Moliere? Aristophanes? Come on people, get with the program and rock out! And if you want to sing, try out Gilbert and Sullivan! Geez.

But the fact of the matter is... why not audition for everything I can, even if it's a show that's done to death. I would enjoy being in a show, and all the hoople heads that like Shakespeare will be like, "OH! He was in Midsummer! That's an amazing show!" And the murmurs of agreement and excitment will continue. Although, who knows, it might be a "new" production set on the moon or something.

Actually, I'd get behind that.

Puppy!

Megan brought her puppy in today! I always forget she brings them in on Fridays!

I also got repremanded this morning about a Visa application thing that I had nothing to do with yesterday!

Man, today looks great!

This is a test

This is set to post when I am having a rockin' good time tonight with Monica at her "I'm getting the fuck out of this company" party at the Mayflower. Trivia night's tonight. I predict that I'm answering a question very wrong, and then getting one really right. For some reason, it'll be a sport's one. I have no idea why.

Sent off some correspondence to UHM and CSULA for some shit tonight. I also hope that Carmel or Santa Rosa gets back to me soon, I'm getting antsy.

And just cause I'm bored, I'll also say that I'm picking my mom up from the fairy and will be studying my lines there.

And now, a haiku:

Trying not to rage
He sits at his desk waiting
For 5... finally!

Love,
Ben

I like the new logo

For draft.blogger. It's a blueprint slightly tilted to the left. Pretty rockin, if you ask me. Also, the new features are enough to keep me entertained for a little while while I numb from the inside out and my brain boils from not enough creativity in my life.

Wow, funny, I forgot I was even typing here, I was just fucking around on the internet absentmindedly not working on this post. And now I'm calling posts "work." Now I really need to get out of the depths of despair and realize this is supposed to be fun. Or at least chronicling stuff for the future, keep me spry when it comes to writing.

I started this blog in order to get used to writing every day. So far it's worked pretty well, and I'm doing a lot more writing than I did before. This is not to say that I've completed anything yet, just minor tidbits here and there. And it's also not to say that I have actually started anything new; quite the contrary. It's just keeping me updated and letting me vent when I need to, but ultimately is a resource so that when I do start writing actual things again (scholarly or otherwise) I'll be used to it, and able to make something fun and coherent, even if not spelled correctly.

Sensitivity, Weddings, Grandpa, blah blah blah

Been talking with my mom a bit this morning about how I think I'm on the ropes here. I sent her an email that Leah sent to me, and she says I'm just being overly sensitive, "and that makes you cool." Yeah, my mom says I'm cool, but it makes a lot of sense, really. I mean, instead of being a petty fool and a stupid wage slave like everyone else in the office, I'm sensitive to more things in this world, and that makes me a little paranoid sometimes, when in reality people don't really pay attention to anything I'm doing. For example, I forgot to install a keyboard tray LAST WEEK, and just now was told that I needed to do it. I really did forget though, big time. I meant to do it so long ago; so that's totally my fault.

Monica and I had dinner with Grampa and Gramma (Chris and Erica) last night. I'm house sitting for them for a few days while they go to Japan (!) chaperoning students from Grampa's (so obviously privileged) school. We ordered Chinese and it was delicious and numerous! There's still over half the meal at their house - to be eaten by me later. It's going to be another fun visit, I think. I have to take care of their cat now too, and I think she will hide from me the entire time, the only evidence of her presence being the food missing and the lovely poo she leaves behind. Ah, to have a cat again.

Anywho. I'm only watching the place for a few days because on the 8th is my trip to St. Louis. I haven't been hearing ANY updates about anything from Nick; I assume he's busy with you know, getting married, but it would be nice to have some info about rehearsal dinner and where the actual ceremony's going to be. I mean, I still have my invitation, but am not very sure I know where everything is around there. It'll all work out, I'm confident that Nick actually wants me there at his wedding, since I am a groomsman and all. Ya know. That sorta thing. Woo.

The sort of bittersweet thing about the whole trip is that my dad and Laurie have a trip to another wedding; one that I would be going to if Nick's wasn't at the same time. (Man, this is the time for weddings, isn't it? Weird. Like many things, it's doing the exact opposite for me, I'm even more not interested in getting married. It just doesn't really seem fair that some people who love each other get married and I can get married to whoever I want, even if I don't love them, as long as it's female. I think it's time to move to France.) Anyway, I'll miss them almost the entire trip, and we won't get to hang out with my family, something I'd like to do. However - the SWEET - is that we get the house and the car the entire time all to ourselves. Wicked awesome. St. Louis has some cool shit, and I'm happy we get to explore it a bit. And we get to take care of my puppies! My hometown does have some charm. The only weird thing about it is I've never really done tourist stuff there, and now I'll feel obliged to. Or not. I might be too busy with wedding shit.

It always amazes me when I look at the clock around this time. I cannot fathom how I've only been here for 2 hours. Stemming from that is the amount I've work I actually have had to do. Lets see, answering phones aside, which is a little bit stressful at times, I organized the coffee and tea, ordered some more, and checked on the snack supply. We're already almost out of milk because people use it on their cereals. Now, I didn't mind this when we had milk deliveries from Safeway, but now that the front office has to go and buy milk 2 times a week. That's a fucking lot of milk. Yes, we have lots of people here, and yes, we have needy folks, but goddamn people. Everyone needs to use it. If you want milk for your cereal or for a glass or two, bring your own! We need to make this stuff last a week. Whatever. At least it gets me out of the office.

So much for staying positive. Haha.

Afternoon Headache

I used to get headaches in the afternoon almost every day. The workaday world was just fucking stressing me out and giving me bad vibes. I think lately it's mostly just been me being an asshole to everyone in my personal life that has been the outlet for all this weird pent up stuff in my head, but since I've been on my positive outlook kick, my afternoon headache might be back for now.

Cool though is I just got the dates for the SM gig for Shotgun. Might not be able to do it; it's right after we get back from The Lou, and Sunrise at Blah blah starts up shortly therafter. (I counted my lines, I have 5. Easiest equity points ever.) We'll see if I can schedule both, I probably can since it's only 2 days, and it would be building up some contacts, but if not... what the fuck it's only contacts in an area I'm leaving.

I've been playing Ikariam today. It's like Civ, but web based. (found it through Kotaku.) I've always liked the civ games, but stopped playing sometime in my junior year of high school and never really went back. It's not that I didn't like them, I just didn't have the time, I guess. Or maybe the energy. After all, I was pretty hardcore into roleplaying games at that point. The cool thing is, is that there are some pretty cool Civ inspired games coming out soon, or have been out, and I just haven't fucked around with them. Simcity Societies, for one, looks amazing! And Spore, when it gets out (the end of linear time, last I checked) is going to be probably the best game ever. It looks like it's a good time to be a gamer - oh right I can't afford any of them. Oops.

Officially got my taxes done. Found an email in my box from TurboTax saying "your taxes have been accepted! Now mail this off!" So I did, it's in the mailbox now. I dont' like doing taxes, and I have a feeling that once I book more gigs and get paid more frequently with theatres, I'm going to need to do something different. For example, Willows probably doesn't do no funny bizness. Oh well, next year I'll get a tax preparer and have piece of mind, I guess. Or not. I'll figure something out; it all depends on where I'll be. I hope I'll be somewhere that makes me flourish.

8 minutes to go.

So Tim's eyes have become infected because of his old contacts he has been using. He's really strapped for cash, so he hasn't bought any new contacts OR new glasses. So now he's practically blind, and is on antibiotics (which probably cost more than contacts would) and still needs glasses/contacts. Too bad he doesn't have a vision plan with his job. Isn't that wonderful? I love it how if someone needs to see they will have to pay out the ass for it. Wonderful. Great world we live in.

Anyway, his eyes are al puffy and gross and stuff, so if I get home before he leaves for my mom's ferry pickup, I'm going to offer to pick mom up from the ferry. He just needs to rest, poor dude. At least he didn't go to work for the past 2 days. That's more of a shitty thing though; I hate staying home when I'm actually sick.

Freddy is here trying to mail stuff with the mail machine. Freddy's a really cool dude; he works for Snaps, the repro company that shares our building, and he's our janitor. He's awesome. Unfortunately, he's not very tech savvy, so it always comes down to him trying really hard to get the machine to work, and then asking reluctantly for our help. I know he wants to know how to do it by himself; after all, he's been using it longer than I have, but I just think there's a mental block. I kinda feel sorry for him.

And it's all figured out. What a nice guy.

Alright, time to close up shop. Time to go home and take care of this headache with a good old fashioned round of "Trying To Beat Portal."

Behind on my reading

I came to work today, and as usual popped open google reader to see all the blogs and shit I poke around in every day. Frustration set in when I saw I had over 400 unread articles, I thought, This is because I missed work yesterday! It was pretty funny, considering that's what I was upset about missing work. Not missing pay or helping around the office, but not being able to catch up on my blogs. (Kotaku is at 207 right now, gotta catch up on that.) I've learned a lot of stuff from those blogs, especially Lifehacker. That's where I found out about ZiPhone, the iPhone jailbreaker that apparently only takes 45 seconds to glorious 1.14 jailbroken glory.

Just another kinda funny comment though, last night, around 4:55, Bonny and I received an email from one of the architects here: "out of milk. thanks." was the subject and there was a blank main field. I love it how these people treat us here. At least they said thanks. Of course, I didn't see this email until this morning, so milk was obtained. Huzzah for those milk drinkers. That sounds really nasty after having to go away from the computer and coming back... reading that last sentence. Anyway.

I do want to say, though, that when it rains shit, it pours, and when it rains gossimer wonders, it pours. I'm now doing a LOT of theatre work, and now I have so many lines to learn. It's really stupid how much I should stop fucking around on the internet at night and just work on those goddamn lines. I should really even do some at lunch, meaning I need to cut my walks a little short. Give up exercise for homework? Not the first time. Just wish I had an exercise bike or elliptical machine so I can study like I did in college. By rocking out. Hardcore. Or taking a shorter walk and working on my lines in the car. I should work on them an hour a day or more. I think an hour is where I start to get frustrated though... so maybe an hour of lines and an hour of Portal.

Oh right, I have lunch with gramps today. Balls. No walk OR lines. Guess I'll do some tonight. I better do some tonight. That means portal too maybe... although that fucking last boss keeps killing me. That's what unlimited lives are for! Yay!

Great

After me feeling terrific about myself going and doing my taxes
practically on my own, I was rejected. I must have done something
super wrong. Or not. Who knows how nitpicky they are.

On the boat to Art. I have 2 scenes today; makes me feel like it's
college again.