This is to see if I can remember this monologue

Launce from Two Gentlemen of Verona.

Nay, twill be this hour ere I've done weeping
All of the kind of hte launces have this very fault.
I hae received my proportion, like the prodigious son
And am going with Sir Proteus to the imperial court.
I think Crab, my dog, be the sourest natured dog
There is: my mother weeping, my father wailing
My sister crying, our maid howling, our cat
Ringing her hands, and did not this cruel hearted
Cur shed one tear. He is a stone, a very pebble stone.
And has no more pity in him than a dog! Why
My grandam, having no eyes, look you, wept herself
Blind at my parting. And all this while the dog sheds
Not a tear not speaks a word, but see how I lay the dust
With my tears.

I think the scancion's wrong, but I don't really care, since it's a comedic monologue, it is a little piecemeal from a longer bit.

Got in trouble yet again for taking late lunches. I'm not doing too well here.