Stayed home today, thanks to the cold. Of course, for most of the day, I felt fine, and my usual guilt of not going to work crept to the surface. I never know why my brain does that to me; I hate my job and loathe every minute of it, but every time I take time to myself it seems like I'm doing something wrong.
I hate it. I hate that that's what happened to me. It's the stupid American Ideal:
- Work all the time and never have any free time.
- ?
- Profit!
I don't think it works like that. I suppose it's security over freedom. I'm secure in my job, and if I lose it, I would have a shit ton of time, but no money to do anything. Give and take? I hear that if you love the job you never work a day in your life. Until then, I need to keep saying it's only a means to an end. Someday I'll support myself fully with my art. I almost hope that they fire me or give me the means to leave so that I can push myself in that direction even more. Soon enough I'll be out of there, fired or no.
Other news: I feel shitty again, I thought I was all better... I love this cold! It's amazing!
More other news: I have the
Midsummer callbacks tonight. Don't want to go. Don't know why I auditioned. Also, I have Drew's rehearsal tonight, and am testing out the dual location
technique. Or just bust my ass and do both. Woo.
Here's my color headshot that I've been fucking with in photoshop.
technique. Or just bust my ass and do both. Woo.
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