My Day

Rehearsal tonight seemed like two steps forward one step back. While Hector is still, indeed, the best director I've ever worked with, he really needs to step back and let us get to 10, as he always says. We need time to get to that point, and his directions are really amazing, sometimes it gets to be too much, when we have great stuff going on. Why do we need to pull stuff out or change perfectly good things? He's just being a director who's bored. It happens. I did however really go over the top with some of my stuff, so that was fun in the end.

Today was good. I worked on my lines, and applied for about 20 jobs, all the while working through a shoddy internet connection through earthlink. I totally even didn't play any video games today. Can you believe that? The one thing I love to do all the time, and instead I spent my entire day applying for jobs, getting a smog check, and going to the DMV.. and tomorrow I need to go back to the DMV! Wow! Fun shit! I hope tomorrow I have a job; tried to set up an interview for tomorrow afternoon, but I haven't heard anything back so far. Maybe they've already hired, maybe they hate me, whatever, I just know I will find something. OH! And I applied for unemployment.

Woo. One glass of wine has made me tipsy already. I have really a weak constitution when it comes to alcohol. And you can tell that I'm tipsy because I used words like constitution and had to retype this sentence 3 times while my typing gets back to normal.

Anyway, to bed.

In Which He Mostly Bitches About Not Having A Job

Day two of unemployment. I've applied for roughly 20 jobs and it's not even 3:30 yet. It rocks to have all the time in the world to apply for another thing I'm going to hate after two weeks! Yay.

Goddamn world.

Anyway. Got my car smog checked today, because the DMV says you need it smog checked! Another bit o' money, and then another bit o' money to transfer the title over to me. Sigh. This wasn't that hard when I had a job and really, honestly, didn't worry about money. Here we go then. I need to find a job, and hopefully that will happen sooner than later. Until then, I've applied for unemployment. And am continuing to apply for jobs. This Friday, hopefully I'll also have an interview with a temp agency to get my name back out in the temping circuit. Funny phrase, that.

So a little nervous, but I'm okay for the time being, as long as I stay on top of things. Getting a job is a full time job, after all. Also, Perfect Timing found me a job pretty quickly after I applied with them not too long ago, hopefully I can recreate that experience and get something quickly. Alright, going to email them and set up a time to go in. Here we go.

Keep an ear out for jobs, will ya?

Unexpected Presents

Tonight I was given the night off from rehearsal, and tomorrow, rehearsal is only until 1! Therefore I can get out and run down to Pacifica to officially buy this goddamned car earlier than usual, and make it back in time for possibly a hot date with Monica. I shouldn't say possibly, it should be probable. We need to go on a hot date that actually happens, not one that ends up us not going to the city because the traffic is so bad. Maybe up to a mid range restaurant? We like eating...

I've officially become a Tool. I spent the better part of this morning writing some thank you cards to all these assholes here. Some not assholes, but mostly its to the higher ups saying what a joy it was to work here, and great jobs are because there's great leadership. Completely out of my ass. My ass is pretty vocal when it needs to be. But it's something you need to do, like swallowing (your pride) and sucking up to casting directors or agents or workshops, it's just what you have to do. Might as well keep the swallowing (of pride) in practice and do it here; I have to swallow (pride) enough in the acting world.

It's an odd dichotomy though; as actors we are supposed to have pride, but we need to know the humility that comes from not getting cast at all ever in a million years oh my god i'm never getting a part again. I think I'm getting it down, and the more people I meet, the more I realize it's a completely universal trait; I'm happy to have more friends from this show that think the same way I do. This has been a Good Thing, and tomorrow I'm going to ask Hector if he needs any tech help, specifically stage managerial tech help, for his shows coming up this season.

Still very much worried about what I'm going to do after this job: so far, no one's called me in for an interview. I think it's back to temp work for a while, and focus on starting my school career; I think I'm going to sign up for some classes at CoM, and maybe a few workshops around the area. Who knows if it'll do anything good, but at least I'll make some friends, and there are a few non theatre (yes, I know, WEIRD) classes that I want. Maybe even an... yes, I'm going to say it, accounting class. I'm more likely to take a flash class though, get started on the way of computers; that's where everything's headed anyway, I'm tired of being out of the loop. First thing's first though, I need a vocal coach.

But not right now! Right now I need a granola bar!

Try as I might, I can't seem to find a reference to the new animated Batman that's out. I thought it was called Tales of the Dark Knight, but that's not it; I'm always redirected to The Dark Knight, which is fun to read about, but still, not what I'm looking for, people! I want a nice, fine way to try and legally obtain in downloadable format, these great things shows. I'm sure there's a torrent of information out there just waiting to be found in tiny bite sized chunks.

The Drowsy Chaperone was amazing. More than amazing. Spectacular. What makes me laugh a bit is that it's succeeding in every single way what Moon has been trying to do for years (and failing, because of the lack of respect of their actors, did I mention my new name was bitterman?). It was an amazing performance by everyone in the cast, and even though at some points I could see how true broadway stars would be better in the roles, it is just a touring company after all, and I had a grin on my face the entire time, so they did something right. It's the kind of show that makes me want to continue to do theatre; if something like that exists in this world, I can help make some good art too.

The downside for all of that is that I missed going to the photoshoot yesterday for Midsummer. Photoshoots are perhaps one of my most favorite things about being in a show; you get your name up there, and there's documentation that you did something, there, right there, on a website or some shit like that! Remember when I was Bottom? There it is! I rocked. Don't believe me? There I am! I know there's probably going to be another photo opportunity at some point, but it's still sucky that I don't get to be in the promo shots. Kind of disappointing yes, but I'll be fine, of course. And there will be documentation somehow.. SOMEWAY!

Tired! Going to zone out.

There's a firing happening in the conference room next to me.

My goal for the past few weeks was to apply for at least 5 jobs a day. For the most part, I do it, and have applied for 10 or more a day for the past 3 days. Pretty fun stuff. Hey, at least it keeps me away from doing the previously mentioned nonwork that I do here. It's been okay so far, aside from the silly things that Leah's been saying. Obviously she's wanted me out of here as much as I've wanted to be out of here. Good thing she's passive aggressive; for the most part I can just ignore her.

Of course, my other goal was to walk during lunch, and that's not been too well. But I've been busy, so that happens.

Good news though! Completely off book for Midsummer! It took me much less time than I originally planned, I just had to plug away at it and the roadblocks vanished! I wonder how our minds work like this; one second the monologue won't get in your head, the next it's there solid like some sort of rock like thing. It's the magic of theatre. Now if only I could get behind actually working harder at rehearsals. For the most part, I've been doing the same thing over and over... my goal for this week is to add some more humanity, and conversely, some more equinity to him. Last night I was just so fucking tired. But that's what I gotta do.

Woo 4:20! Time to... sit here and be bored for another 40 minutes.

Fucking Days

This morning I was awoken by the dulcet tones of the Futurama theme song from my phone. Glancing down, I saw "Joan Scout," and then slightly above that, "7:13." Fuck if I'm answering that, I thought, coyly. No doubt it was about her car and my purchase; indeed, we had been having some troubles in contacting one another on the phone. I admit, I haven't been the most easy person to contact, but then again, I have a full time job as well as another full time job as an actor, while she... is a stay at home mom. With another stay at home mom. Suffice it to say that my day is a tad more busy than hers.

Don't get me wrong, raising a child is busy, important, and honorable work. However, so is theatre, and working to try and raise money to live. And they... well they have all the money they will ever need. So there's a little bitterness. Who cares?

I listened to the message. "Okay, Ben, this is getting ridiculous. We need to settle this, now." Oooh, I thought, sounds like a deathmatch. "Either you need to get the car from me or you need to bring the car back to me, but it needs to be done now. We're sleep training right now, so our nights are really busy, and I don't know if we can do it in the evenings. So yeah, call me back so we can figure this out." Very hostile.

Huh, thought I, it almost as if she didn't have another car that she could drive.

My way to work was fought with boredom. Then, upon coming to work, I received an email, found last night:

"I do ask that you remain professional until the end. It is inappropriate to make an appointment and not return, no matter where you work. If you're looking for a job, you need to do it within reasonable business hours, just like anybody else - people usually do this before or after work.

Also, please minimize browsing on the net. There is work to do - such as filing, installing that Mayline for A, etc.

l"*

I have been remaining professional, but if I have opportunities, I will jump at them, like always. It's just that they simply did not ever really support my art, so I have to lie about where I go and what I do. I'm tired of that, especially in the waning hours of my working here. And I've received little respect from them, it's hard to be overly nice in an environment such as this. Also, I do get my work done. But when it's done, I surf the internet. After all, there's nothing else to do.

Yes yes, of course we could make our own work, but why bother, really? I'm leaving in a little over a week. Who do you know ever really pushes the limit the last week they're there? Especially after being laid off. What a silly girl.

Also that Mayline is TOTALLY the wrong style for the table it's being installed on.

---

My audition went pretty well yesterday, but there was another strange anecdote: "Since I always sing the same songs for you, I decided to work on another song, it's not quite ready, but I could give it a shot."

"You should sing a song you're comfortable with."

"Sure, of course! But I was just thinking, you hear the same song all the time."

The blonde non actress producer piped in, "You really should have 6 songs you could perform for us!"

"Well, I do have over a dozen songs I could sing for you, but they're pretty contemporary."

"You really need to learn some songs of this time, it's good to have a couple."

"Well, that's why I'm learning this one!" (It reads a little more sarcastically here, that's what I was going for, but I was more jovial than sarcastic.)

So I sang my normal song. It went well. Very well really. And I read fine, and danced wonderfully. It just leaves an odd taste in my mouth (as usual) that first of all their reputation of ostracising people from shows for being unable to do them (family emergencies, etc.) as well as... attacking is a strong word, more like ridiculing, people who come in, unpaid, actually paying to be there - talking bout bridge and gas money - and then this shaming. I'm sorry we can't all live fully from our art and therefore have time to know a hundred different songs from the EXTREMELY LIMITED place of theatre you're taking from, and I'm sorry I can't pull something out of a hat, and I'm sorry I can't sing with no characterization like you do, it just looks like this is what you're going to get.

They need to shut the fuck up and learn to work with actors. Have auditions on Sunday and Monday evenings. Not in the day when people WORK FOR A LIVING. We know this is what you do to live, GOOD FOR YOU. I am jealous. Someday, I hope that to be me up there, being a dick to someone, but you know what, it will be on a night that's convenient for them.

---

Other news, the photoshoot for Midsummer is tonight, even though I've had a conflict on the schedule for 3 weeks now. They said it was okay for me not to come tonight, but I know in their heart of hearts they would love to have me acting like an ass (haha, I'm so witty) for them and to make the Titania look better. So, I'm going to try and move my tickets around to tomorrow night for Drowsy Chaperone. What could be the problem? I don't think there will be one, anyway; I just need to get the person on the phone and tell them. I think leaving messages is out of the question right now.

Anywho. I'm an actor, not a reviewer. So in any case, I will be going to the photo shoot. Unless I don't.

*Names abbreviated because I felt like it.

Quickly Now

I go in 5 minutes or so to Moon and another one of their Will They Waste My Time auditions. My answer based on previous events: yes. I should stay positive though.

I'm so tired. I'm about to fall asleep, which is exactly what I will do when I head on back. I'm not coming back to work.

And off I go.

Last Full Week

Here we are! My last full week at SWA! How do I feel about this? Pretty good, actually. Still worried about the whole finding a job thing, but for the most part I'm happy that this is ending, and I'm happy that they made the decision for me, rather than I did it myself. Because of that, I can be happily on unemployment for a little bit. Wow, hungry all of a sudden; gonna go grab a snack.

And of course, Elaine is gone even though I have to leave now to get to my *ahem* "Dentist Appointment." Whatever, I'll be late and say I had to run from work. Sucks though, wish I could leave now.

Anyway, I have an audition tonight with Theatreworks, and an audition tomorrow for 42nd Street Moon. I'm staying positive and realistic, and I'm going to give them a show and do my best, even though it might be a waste of time. Well, to be honest, it's never really a waste of time getting my face out there; even if they don't use me, if I keep plugging it they'll remember me more and more. Besides, I can brag about it to Hector.

I guess this is a short blog entry; not feeling too hot today, so I'm going to zone out for a bit and just focus on my job.

Oh, also I saw The Dark Knight last night with Bruce. AMAZING.

WTF Mate?

Joan originally, as you recall, was going to sell me for $500, well under the bluebook price, which she also knew when telling me she would sell it to me for $500, of $2000. Nice. Very nice, I thought. I've had the car for a while now, and as you recall, I received the car back in April. She has been very generous about letting me use the car, but from what I can tell, she hasn't been really missing it - I've received NO phone calls of any urgency from her until recently.. and that probably was only because I called her like 5 weeks ago.

Anyway. It sucks. My plan is to call her back today, after our brief conversation ("well, I have to check my funds.") and tell her that because of the repairs I paid for, and the repairs that it will need in the upcoming weeks (breaks, probably), that I simply can't afford the extra $500, and kind of budgeted myself for just the original price. If she gives me shit, or time to pay, or anything like that, I might just stick to my guns and say I can only pay 500. It's what she agreed upon, she's just being greedy, and that makes me sick. They are incredibly rich. Super rich. Not just oh, let's go to hawaii for a few weeks rich like my other friends are, they will never need to work. Ever. And she was poor for so long... I just think she's lost perspective on what it's like to be a normal peon.

Whatever. I'll call her and leave a message later.

Jesus, just found out a friend of mine might need surgery on her collerbone from a fall earlier this year. Shit. So much for 2008 being nice. Lets hope it gets better. Or at the very least let's hope I get a serindipidous call from someone asking me to run a theatre company. That would be fine too.... still waiting on that call, friend.

We're always meanest to those we're closest to.

Well no shit, it's not like I've stumbled on some secret revelation here, but still, it always makes me angry how we're meanest to those we love. Anyway, she did give some good advice, but I'm simply tired of everything that's going on in my life: midsummer, losing my job, etc. and I think everything caught up to me last night and today, making me Cranky McCrank. And when I'm cranky, you know something's wrong.

I just finished doing an edit of my resume. It's now about a page and a half long, with references it's two pages. I've been doing a lot of reading about resume etiquette, and all of them say that one page is great, two pages is perfectly acceptable as well. So that's pretty cool, and I'm using it. There's just so much of me that I have to offer! Ugh, that made me feel weird saying that; way too cynical for this shit. Anyway, I am actually pretty excited about this edit; it's sort of a combination of the one I have been using and the skills style resume I tooled with earlier. Thus making it longer, but still, in the virtual world, it'll be fine.

Bruce and I are planning on seeing The Dark Knight sometime this weekend, and I couldn't be more excited. YEEAH. Then I will probably be seeing Hellboy 2, which I am equally excited about - super big fan of the comics! Woo hoo spending money I don't have! Let's all celebrate that.

Quiet sobbing.

I think I finished memorizing my lines for Midsummer. Now I just need to run them with friends and in rehearsal. Honestly, it's just about plugging away at them, even when I was feeling shitty about it and thinking that I was making no progress, I still worked hard on what I was doing, finally getting to the point where they were coming naturally. I'm happy that I did. Also, that I worked on them so much earlier than some other people are. I started memorization about a month before rehearsal started, so I had a good chunk of the first act down when we walked in, it's just getting it on its feet now. Fun fun shit. This is going to be a pretty fantastic show, and I don't feel that way about just any show.

Auditions coming up. Sunday is the callback for Rocky Horror - not prepared. Monday is TheatreWorks - pretty prepared, but will go over monologues this weekend. Tuesday is 42nd Street Moon - not prepared, but will go over on Sunday. They, yet again, are holding their callbacks in the day time, not respecting their actors normal work schedules and keeping people longer than they need to be. I'm tired of them wasting my time, but honestly, what can we do? I was called in, so I'm going to go in, that's that. I think I will send in an email asking if there is any other time I can come in, saying my schedule is incredibly busy or something next week, but if I need to, I would go at that point. Just wish it was in a few weeks; after July 31, won't really matter when audition times are.

You know what though? I am going to email them; it doesn't hurt to ask, and I've come out for them enough... maybe they'll be around later that evening for some auditions.

In any case, that's what's going on. You know what else is strange? My lines are coming along, but the hardest ones are the Pyramus and Thisby scenes, and I talked with Snout last night about it, and he said it's because they're poorly written. He's totally right! Normally, Shakespeare's lines are so easy to get into your brain because they make SO much sense when you're really thinking about them, but these, Shakespeare purposefully wrote bad lines for the play within the play, and THAT'S why it's hard to understand. It made a lot of sense when he said that. It was fun to think about, in any case.

Um, nothing much else. I'm going to try and take a shower before rehearsal tonight. Scratch that 'try': I WILL take a shower tonight.

Nothing Much

Whole day went by without me popping open this little box to write. For the most part, there was nothing to report, as usual. I applied for 5 billion jobs, then helped Elaine to try and stop being a dumbass (continuing process) when she gave me some suggestions on jobs that were actually good ones. Okay, she's not that bad. But then she immediately asked a stupid question I answered for her last week. So, she still is kinda bad.

Anyway.

I'm stinky today. Both a little gassy and feet very smelly. That's the first thing I need to take care of tonight. (Gas taken care of by the way, yum mint tea.) I'm going to wash my feet and maybe the rest of my body. We'll see if that happens, but who knows.

For the most part, I think the whole not having a job thing is really catching up to me. I'm getting really worried about what's going on and what I'm going to do; obviously, I'm applying for jobs, really working harder on adapting my cover letter for specific things and getting at least 5 done a day, but as we all know, it's exhausting work, and the looming job that I still am at still requires a lot of my time. Add a show to that, and well, I'm exhausted and worried and tired. On top of that, Monica and I haven't been communicating well and so we've been annoying each other. Gragh.

I just want to sleep for a billion years! That might be too long, maybe just a day or two.

Since I Want To Kill Her I Will Distract Myself

When my cue comes, call me and I will answer. My next is "Most fair Pyramus!" Heigh-Ho! Peter Quine? Flute, the bellows mender? Snout the tinker? Starveling? God's my life, stolen hence and left me asleep! I have had the most rare vision. I have had a dream, past the wit of man to say what dream it was: man is but an ass, if he go about to expound upon this dream. Methought I was... there is no man can tell what. Methought I was... and methought I had... but man is a patched fool to offer to say what methought I had. The eye of man hath not heard, the ear of man hath not seen, man's hand is not able to taste, his tongue to conceive, nor his heart to report what my dream was. I will get Peter Quince to write a ballad of this dream: it shall be called Bottom's Dream, for it hath no bottom. And I will sing it in the latter end of a play, before the duke. Peradventure, to make it the more gracious, I shall sing it at her death.

almost... it's hard to do when the phones ring.

What DID Happen This Weekend?

Honestly, I'm not quite sure. I'm exhausted, but I don't know of anything else really. Let me try and go through what I did... step by step.

Friday was a normal stupid day, as I recall, and rehearsal was that night for some scenes. I hung out with mom and Tim for a bit, eating some popcorn and going to Trader Joe's for some easily eatable lunches this week, and headed up to Novato to get to rehearsal at 7; WRONG TIME. We were supposed to be there at 6, and when I got there, I received a sense of... nothing from the actors. Nobody cared that I was an hour late, partially because there was really no notice of this, and partially because they had just been sitting around for an hour, while Hector was doing Lovers' scenes. That might be my fault, but I don't think it is; I think the rehearsals are scheduled very oddly. That reminds me, I'm going to write the Stage Manager and ask her to send out reminders on where we're going; she's a nice person, bringing cookies, but it would be nice for an email reminder every day. Done. Good.

Saturday was a sleep in day for a bit. I had more rehearsal later in the day, worked my ass off, and was given very specific directions. I understand what Hector is doing, but I'm more of the "don't marry your actions so early" camp. But I'll do whatever he wants and find other things if I want to change things around. Whatever. It's a short run, so we do what we can. Example: going to work on lines at lunch. I'm actually doing pretty good on them, which is semi rare for me. But then again, we don't have much time until we're OH EM GEE STARTING THE SHOW! I'm lucky I'm rocking out these lines so well. Unlike. Others.

Sunday was Bubba's Diner! Woo! Chocolate chip pamcakes. Then I played video games all day, and worked on some lines... and then stormed the cast party at the bowling alley, hanging out with Monica, Bruce, and Jessica. They all seemed happy the show was over, but proud of the production they helped create. Plus there was pizza and cupcakes, and I was able to meet some of the people from the cast; good people all!

Today is back to work. For the past hour, Elaine has been struggling (almost wrote struffling, which doesn't come up as a misspelled word, so I may have to look that up later) with doing the mail. Correction, hour and 30 minutes now. Keep this in mind that the mail has to be done at 11, and she started at 10:30. Granted, it's monday, so a lot of mail, and graned she's new, but honestly folks, I've shown her how to do the mail four times - actually spelling out the word four makes it more important, just so you know - and still she struggles. I have to hand it to her, she doesn't ask me for help more than 10 times, so good for her. She's trying, she's just not very efficient.

Kai said something good about this situation though; if she were not going to be my replacement, would I still be as annoyed with her as I am? And I thought long and hard about it, before finally saying: Yes, I would. She's kind of an idiot.

Tra la la la la la la.

Last night was a terrific performance by the one and only Monica a fantastic Seussical, directed by my best buddy Bruce. Other performers were Kasie, Kele, Chloe and many other friends; they really put on a fantastic show! I was very moved throughout the whole thing, getting a little teary at some of the songs. It was a fun evening, and Yet Wah was afterwards, which was hilariously understaffed for the enormous amount of people we brought. I had chicken fried rice.

I've been wearing filp flops all week. I'm a fan of flip flops, and they have served me well in this cooler weather. Unfortunately, today is a mite chilly, and my feet are a mite freezing of my mite legs. Time for mail, be right back.

OH MY GOD BUSY WORK TALK TO YOU LATER.

What's been giving me trouble

Good master Mustardseed! I know your patience well;
It was the same cowardly, giant-like ox-beef that hath
devoured many gentlemen of your house. I promise you,
your kindred hath made my eyes water ere now. I shall desire
your more acquaintance, good Master Mustardseed!

now let's see if I got it right.

shit.

Good Master Mustardseed, I know your patience well;
that same cowardly, giant-like ox-beef hath devoured
Many a gentlemen of your house: I promise you,
Your kindred had made my eyes water ere now. I
desire your more acquaintance, good Master Mustardseed.

Not that bad... still paraphrasing a bit; gotta nail those down.

Oh Noes!

The Singing Stage is only by invite only now! This is where I found some great albums! Oh noes! NOEEESSS! It happens and was good while it lasted; in the meantime, however, I have requested an invite to be one of the VIP members of the blog, so my reviewing and deleting them within the legal 24 hour period can continue. Then I will buy the albums through normal legal means. I like to hear the music before I hear the music; it's only fair.

What have I done today, you ask? Why thank you for being interested in my life. I've applied for two (count 'em!) theatre jobs in the bay area, and have actually looked at the TBA website for some more. It's actually pretty exciting, I fit into these administrative positions better than my current one, AND I would be enjoying some theatre stuff! Woot! Let's hope they come through. Pleaseohpleaseohplease. The rest of the morning was more training for Elaine, who keeps forgetting everything I tell her the second I'm done talking. Oh well. Won't have to put up with her much longer.

Computer was just screwy; restarted, and now everything's fine. Further emphasizing that everything's better after a restart.

Last night at rehearsal I learned two things: Hector is an amazing director and our Quince is terrible. I'm hoping it's just a one night out of his head I'm tired sort of thing, but it seemed deeper than that, especially when he put equal emphasis on every. Single. Word. He. Said. That just takes the emphasis away from everything! It's like if you only eat ice cream all the time, soon you'll be tired of ice cream because it's not a thing you do once in a while. Or if you eat ice cream all the time, but add whipped cream only sometimes, that's another way of saying it.

I really want some ice cream.

Tonight is the thieve's production of Seussical! One of my favorite shows! And my favorite girl is the Sour Kangaroo! I'm excited. She said last night, "well, we have a show." So that put my mind out of fear. And I believe this evening is the cast party, so yummers!

Back on my head.

The Nerve

So I thanked Eavie for sending me the boxes of stuff and have heard back nothing. The beauty of facebook is that it's pretty impersonal when it comes to that kind of thing, but nothing whatsoever, not even a "you're welcome!" that brays half heartedly from her direction. Obviously she wants nothing to do with me, and that's fine, but there's no reason we can't be civil. Whatever. It's completely over now, and I probably will never see her again. More the pity; we'd be good friends if she wasn't so crazy.

The day has been horrifically uneventful. The hours, as usual, are achingly slow, but today just seems all the more excruciating. Granted, we're a little slow now, but usually I keep myself occupied in one manner or another. Whatever. I'll find something to do. Wait, I am! If I keep typing, the day will go faster and eventually it'll be time to go home. Yep. Just keep typing. Yep. Sigh. Annoying Elaine moment of the day: She's been very eager to help out. So every 15 minutes she cleans the counter. No foolin.

Tonight is the second rehearsal for Midsummer. I'm very excited to get things started, especially because after tonight we'll (hopefully) have all the mechanical's scene's blocked, including the Pyramus and Thisby play at the end! That should be fun. It's a lot to cram into a rehearsal though; we might just do the other scenes and start working on P & T later. Who knows? Whatever we're doing, it should be fun; we're not doing those boring lovers' scenes or the long winded Oberon scenes after all. Hehe, I like being the clown in shows.

And as if the universe were listening to me about how bored I was, it provided 10 Gnomes. Those little fuckers are everywhere in these pictures, and are damned hard to find. Find them. And love yourself for being a puzzle master. I'm going back to it.

The Blowers!

The Blowers are here.

These mystical beings come from a land far south of here, for their language hints at one I've studied in my University days, but, in practice, have not kept up, so we have a barrier when it comes to communication. They stand, statue-like, in front of our building with orange pieces of equipment that seem to somehow push debris around with air! Ask me not how this is done, for I would say witchcraft! Yet, my employer seems to continue to let them appear on our doorstep, speaking strange languages and pushing the air and debris around in circles, trapping them in black bags, G-d only knows where they take this! To further their wicked intentions no doubt.

I ask them what they want, who they need, why they need our leaves and dirt, but they only look at me with confused eyes, their brows furrowed in concentration. They are a noble people, I think, and the leaves, dirt, and dust they take with them seem merely a task; there is more to any person than what they do in the day, but it is especially true with these folk.

Hrm. HRM I SAY.

Long fun weekend. Friday was the Marin County Fair, where I ate myself silly and rode some rides and stayed for fireworks. It was profoundly American, especially the end where we were trapped in an inefficiently run parking lot for 2 and a half hours, and everyone's pride in one another and one's country is thrown out the window while they cut you off in the parking lot. But most of the day was great! We hung out with Bruce and Jessica and Mom and Tim and had a blast walking around the fair. Great times. Good fireworks too.

For the most part, Saturday was pretty chill. Monica and I went to see Pericles that evening, and thought it was pretty well done, aside from some not so good actors. It was a combination Deadwood/O, Brother, Where Art Thou world, and the style worked for the piece. And honestly, Pericles needs some help when it comes to the text; it's not a very well written show. Mom was, of course, brilliant, and Tim was, of course, amazing. The rest was good, aside from some other clunkers as stated before. Lotro was played earlier in the day. A good day.

Sunday was full of fights with Kai! Woo! How fun was that. We fought for 2 and a half hours at Gerstle Park, and had a break for lunch, heading over to the Playhouse to bring Monica some delicious foods. We then continued to fight, and then finished the fight! Oh man, it was great. 5 hours total, and I'm still sore from the fight. Next time, knee braces as well. I miss fighting. Afterwords we went and saw Hancock, which was terrific, but nothing to be really excited about. It wasn't like Kung Fu Panda or Wall*E, where I think about it for days after. That's how I can tell if a movie has really affected me.

Monday was The Interview. Or rather it was Flight Canceled/Do I Really Want To Do This? I took out a piece of paper and wrote down the go line and the stay line, and it boiled down to me not really wanting to move to LA right now. I'm loving my life here, and yes, there's some strife and stupidity, but I do love where I am, and this is the time of my life, I should enjoy it before I head on out into the unknown. Besides, I'm getting cast in some terrific roles, so it's not all that bad. I also would like to say that my mom is the best: she picked me up from the airport when I wanted to come home. I love my mum. The rest of the day I should have worked on lines, but didn't, playing Lotro instead. I must work on lines this afternoon while I have the evening off, at lunch as well.

I feel good about my decision. It was one of those decisions that I think I made a while ago, but just pretened to be debating about it for a few days. Yeah. I didn't want to move to LA right now anyway, and that's not just being sour grapes. That's the truth. My life here is good, why should I change it early? I'm going to have fun for now.

Last night was the first rehearsal for Midsummer. Of course I'm worried about lines, that's not the point. I'm really worried that it's going to be a horrible show, even with Hector directing it. I think it was the exact right thing to do to accept this part, but... hm. It's going to be a very much step in the backwards direction if I'm looking for professionalism. Hector, of course, will be very fun to work with, but some of the other actors seemed not too bright. It is just the read through. They'll improve. I hope hope hope. In any case, I'll be great, yes? It's going to be hard. I need to work on these lines. Well, an hour today and some tonight, with a bit of gaming afterwards.

It is a good life.

On My Adventure

Heading out to LA today. I'm excited nervous and a little bit bored.
In my killing time mode, I've been tryingnto find a bus or a train to
the area where I'm going; unable to find one. Well, found a few, but
have been a little confused by the website. I'm not going to worry
about it right now, cab's fine for me. Besides, I'm still incredibly
tired.

A muzak version of "When I'm Sixty-Four" just came on and it made me
smile. Nothing much else to report, I think I'll be twittering more if
I can: twitter.com/balk. But that's pretty much it.

Love
Ben

Good News, Everyone!

I have another interview with Equity on Monday. In LA. They bought my ticket. I'm looking at it right now. It's conversely really exciting and incredibly nerve wracking. I've never had a second interview before, let alone one that takes me to LA. Or anywhere for that matter. And I do have problems with the job, as discussed before. I have a feeling, however, that if they want to use me, like REALLY like me, then they might listen to what I have to say and what I have to offer. Which is basically that I want to be a union actor.

The other fact of the matter is that I'm not quite ready to head on down to LA. I mean, I'm certainly accepting their free trip, and we never know what will happen; after all, I might fall in love with the place. AND you never know what will happen if you keep the door open. They may reopen the office here in San Francisco and use me as the rep... who knows? I sure don't. After all, they've already bought the tickets, and I'll get the rental car... and get to see more of Southern California, at least for a bit. I love it down there. At least for the 4 days I was there last time I loved it.

It's an adventure, pure and simple. I'm not one to turn down an adventure.

School, Work, and Play

Hawaii keeps sending me new student information. I've already told them and they've agreed to defer my acceptance a year (well, the department did, I'd have to reapply to the university itself). It's just hard, seeing these other people getting excited about it.. and I'm not really excited about going there. It seems like it would be a blast, and who knows, maybe next year I'd go, but for now, I'm not really ready to take the plunge and go all the way over there to study acting, which while being beneficial, and would build contacts, is not really in the spot that has the contacts I would really want to further my career. Not to badmouth you, Hawaii, I'm sure I'd make some good friends and great contacts, but right now I'm shooting more for Los Angeles. It's still kind of flattering though; almost like they have a huge crush on me, but damn, they just live so far away.

Anywho. Nothing much else to report as usual. Mountain Days last night went pretty well; we had a nice full house, only mild fuckups, and I'm getting to know more of the cast. They're pretty good people, and Willows regulars.. or at least musical regulars. I think that's why I've never met any of them before, when the Willows casts a straight play, they rarely cast musicians, and vice versa. It's a way do to things, but I'd much rather cast actors who can sing than singers. But whatever. Not my company. Pay it forward. It'll be nice though when I can start my walks at lunch again... you know what, I'm not really worried about the music anymore, I'm going to start walks again today! Unless Monica comes down to visit me, that is. We'll see! I sure hope we see each other at lunch in any case, I have a party tonight with the Willows that I don't want to miss because I'm an asshole actor and need to talk to people in the industry.

Elaine is still being dumb, and reacting too much to things that I say. She's a very fake person. I miss Bonny. I miss Myra. Oh well, I won't be here much longer, so here's to not giving a fuck for the next few weeks. I sure hope I find a job though so I can quit this one; that'll show them all.

Oop. Gotta get the milk.

Back. Had a nice talk with Monica where she let me bitcha little bit about Elaine. You know what I think figured out during that conversation? I'm not really letting myself like her because she is my replacement, and is already probably being paid more than I am. And that's okay with me. I'm fine with not liking her - in a month I'll be gone and she'll be stuck here. And maybe they'll want to keep me on part time, if so, great, and I'll still try and look for other places; if they've wanted to get rid of me now, part time won't want them to keep me anyway.

Just got a call from mum. Apparently Eavie sent me a package of my stuff. That's nice of her. It's probably all my coats that I have no idea where they are. That'll be nice to have those back, but it's still a weird feeling. I didn't even get a courtesy email that she was going to send them. You'd think that we'd at least be cordial to one another... but then again, I'm just done trying to be friends with her; if she doesn't want to be my friend, her loss.

Wow. Just got a call from AEA. They want to see me in person. I don't know what to say. I do know that I will call them at lunch time and see what they have to say... and if they feel like flying me down for an interview, I'd try and do it, but I don't know if I can afford the funds to do a day trip to LA for that kind of thing. Wow. Flattering. I'm going to call them back and see if I can. It's hard though, because of the conflict of interest; I've always wanted to be a union actor... and if I can't be one because I'm working for the union... well yeah... Also the fact that I'd have to pick up and move pretty quickly, missing Bottom. Hm. Hm. Well, it doesn't hurt to talk to them. And if anything, chalk it up to experience.

That's an exciting thing right there. I must have done something right at the interview. Gosh. Now I'd need some sort of shirt and tie or something. Maybe my blue shirt... stop. We don't even know what's going on. And I don't even know where my blue shirt is... although I have some leads. (Closet at Monica's or closet in Room.) We'll see.

Events! Or, Whatever Happened to Sarcasm?

Hi folks. The past days have been pretty cool. Monday evening mom helped me out with my interview etiquette (specifically for my interview on Tuesday for AEA, but the tips were great in general). It was lovely to spend some time with my mom. I miss her a lot. It also made me realize how messy my room was. Funny how that works; we only realize how messy it is until other people come into our lives. Not that she cared.. it's just awkward at times.

Also on Monday - did I mention this already? - Leah told me that my last day would be July 31st. Our new person, Elaine would be starting on Tuesday. It shook me up a little, but I know I'm going to find a new soul sucking job sometime soon. I just have to keep putting my energy out there and look for something new. Besides, I have some resumes in the works, and hopefully Good Earth will call me any time now... *begins quiet sobbing*. I think I need to call them today and remind them that I'm interested; that's a good thing right? When someone kindly asks about a job, the worst thing they can say is no.

Until July 31. I wonder if they thought I'd be productive with the knowledge of when I leave. The answer is I will still be as productive as I've ever been. And now to load some Puzzle Pirates. Seriously though, there's some filing to do, and stuff that has needed to be done for a while, because there wasn't a second person here. Oh right, that thing, the fact that we need more than 1 person running the front office; that little gem. If they need a third person, I'm going to try and make sure that I have another job if they try and offer me my old job back.

I'm also still debating whether or not I should quit my job in this time, or have them do the lay off. I'll talk to Leah about this sometime this week to see what the status would be here. Shit, I sound like a real grown up person.

Tuesday I met Elaine. My replacement. It's an odd relationship. On one hand, I'm giving her some training, which is helping me with my "I can train people" skills. On the other, she's my replacement. On the other, she's kind of a dipshit. It's really strange. She's better than some people for certain, and maybe it's just a learning curve. But I was a little better than this when I first started. Nervous and chatty yes, but then again, I'm 20 years younger than she is, and infinitely more confident. Maybe it's the theatreblood that runs through my veins. We trained a bit on filing, phones, email, etc. The normal shit. She confessed to me that she's not very good with computers. Terrific. Had an encounter with Short Man Syndrome, and he reiterated some Important Information that he Commanded yesterday. How fun.

Leaving at 2:30, I was full of glee and nervousness myself; I had my phone interview with AEA at 3:30. I got home, dressed nicely (for I am one to use psychology in this situation) and sat down to go over my notes. At EXACTLY 3:30, I called, and proceeded to have an amazing interview for the next hour. It would be a good job for me. It would be a life changing job though, and I'd have to give up theatre if have it; too much travel. Sounds counterintuitive to move to LA and work with the union to not be able to act. It's not like I've accepted it; if they want me, I'll definitely think about it before saying no.

Monica and I had Macho Burritos for dinner, and I've just now digested mine. It sure hit the spot for TWELVE HOURS. Of course, now I'm hungry again. It was good to see her at a point when we weren't either asleep or frantically trying to kill a rat. By the way, we have rats.

Yesterday evening was the opening night of Mountian Days! Woohoo! I knew most of the words, and didn't fuck up as much as I thought I would. It is a good show, and more importantly, it'll help me more to be in with the Willows - equity card anyone? It's only a 3 show run - very good - and I've made some fun friends, as well as just now realizing there's a cool party this Friday after the show! Hello talking to people and drinking! This'll be a blast.

(bleh, speaking of drinking, this coffee is way too strong.)

This morning was more of the same working with Elaine. She's smarter than the average bear, but not as intuitive as I am. It takes a few times for her to get something down, but once she gets it, it looks like she gets it. That's good, but still annoying in the learning process. My hope is that once she learns everything, she'll truly understand it, and maybe the fury of the ages that this person is getting paid more than me will cease.

Tonight is more Mountain Days, a thank you note to AEA, and probably some Team Fortress 2 beforehand. The day itself will be full of boredom. Hurray.