Friday, May 16, 2008

6 crazy weeks

Not sure if Boston is where I'm going to be this summer. The staff (one person?) has been very weird about information: giving me wrong dates for the tuition payment, saying there are scholarships, then giving me information about payment plans, and when I ask a question, they say I need to turn in a headshot and another $50 fee for the program. It would probably be a grand adventure, yes, but for the most part, the reason why I would want to go is to stop working here. And that's not a very good reason at all. I should go somewhere, to something that I want to go to, not just a place that will get me away from this area.

Granted, I've been sick of Marin for a while. But there is a lot of good about it, and I am relatively happy here. I have good friends (most of which are moving, but that's beside the point) and good family. My job is soul sucking, yes, but it's not terrible, and there's plenty of time for me to go on the aethernet and spend my time doing nothing/looking for other jobs and auditions. And, if my scheme goes according to plan, I might be dropping to part time or 3/4 time anyway, so I can focus more on my acting career, maybe by even *gasp* taking a class or two! I never thought it would come to this... but that's how it's done. Yep.

But anyway. It's just been frustrating lately. As stated before, a ton of my friends are becoming more and more successful and me? Well, I just got a rejection letter for a job that honestly I didn't have in the bag, but still frustrating nonetheless. What's even more frustrating is the fact that I'm honestly not doing that bad, I've been in shows pretty consistently and have a few shows coming up that I'm pretty sure I'll be in. It's a weird time right now, I guess, and there hasn't even been much time for me to pick through this junk in my head; every time I get home and have time to look on the computer and do some research, I end up watching movies or playing games - I do miss my computer. And at work it's no better; there's work at work, and when I'm done with that, do I really want to work and worry about what might happen this fall? No, not really. Top it off, my mom's quitting her job and looking for another one.

It's a good thing for her; that job's been sucking her soul for 7 years now, but it's a dangerous game in this economy. She will find something else, that's for sure - she's a very talented legal secretary - but it's just spooky right now.

Other news. If I do stay around here through the mystical 6 weeks that the program would take up, I want to take a trip out to Denver and see my friends there. Maybe it'll be a spiritual journey through my darkest demons as I take a 20 hour route to get there, or maybe I'll just bite the bullet and grab a plane and rent a car. WHO KNOWS! (Hint: It'll be the second option: Ben needs his comfort.) Anyway, if it happens, it would be fantastic, but if not, whatevs.

Man, I think I do need a dark trip of self discovery to awaken my demons. Or awaken something for god's sake. Either that or an XBox 360. Hm. Both?

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