Friday, May 23, 2008

The Happening (not by M. Night Shymalan

(Before starting this post, meebo signed me off, stupid meebo.)

It's finally happened. We all knew it would, but I never thought it would be this quick. Bonny left about 2 weeks ago, and I've been working alone (now with a temp) for a little bit now. Leah's on vacation until Thursday, and here I am. I would be fine without a temp; I would just take no lunch or put it on night phones. Whatever, I don't care. But since we have this (getting better) dumb temp, I've been roped in to being responsible for this place, yes, this very same soul sucking place that I've talked about many a time.

Why do I feel this way? Why do I worry about how this office would be? Calling in sick is not an option any more, that's the problem. When I lose the ability, nay, the thought of calling in sick in my own mind, I know something's snapped and I need to get out of here. This is how it happened:

I woke up this morning, surprisingly tired, definitely in need of rest; this play has been catching up more and more to my limit of tiredness. It was an issue I brought up when originally hired here: sometimes I would just need time off to rest as well as time for shows. It's approaching that time (probably next Friday, I'd imagine). Anyway, my headache/migraine from last night was still there, subdued by sleep and healing. The usual thought that goes through my head on any day is "wonder if I'm going to work today" but on days where I even have a slight pain, I call in sick. Today, none of those thoughts ran through my head. My first thought was, Time to get there, to deal with this idiot. What happened to me? What happened to my freedom of mind?

Obviously, I've been here too long, and need to be gone. However, some strange force is prohibiting me from quitting as well; I'm the only admin here, and I actually respect Leah as a person, so no just up and quitting. That is, unless I get a job at a theatre or in a film or at a film or ANYWHERE ELSE THAT MAY PAY BETTER. Then again, it would be hard leaving her in the lurch, but it's what we have to do in life. But still, there's this stupid nagging feeling. All the more reason to Get The Fuck Out Of Here.

Also, I'm going to lunch with granpa today, that's fun.

Also, cast list for Seussical is up; obviously I can't do it, but Monica got Sour Kangaroo! Excellent excellent excellent role for her! And a bunch more of my friends are involved with the show, including Kacie as Gertrude and Kelly as Mrs. Mayor! Wonderful! I'm so happy for them, and sad I can't be involved with the show.

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