Woo(t)!

Went to Best Buy last night for some retail therapy, even after checking my bank account and realizing that retail therapy at this point might keep me from actual good things in life like groceries or getting a used car. Doesn't matter to me! Haha! Live in the moment, it's what I say! So I went and bought me some Super Smash Bros. Brawl! I haven't tried it yet, but that will be for tonight. Also, on a whim I bought the new Crystal Chronicles - so far the action sequences are very similar to Rune Factory, without all the farming. So I'm cool with that sorta, it's just more action, less farming. We'll see how it progresses; right now I'm just wading around in the shallows of the first few chapters - it looks like it might be a great game.

I've been working on my UNLV paper. Mostly vague work finding books and such that I can look through for some facts that I want to touch on. I have a feeling once I really start to dive into the writing process this weekend, things will turn out okay, and I will enjoy writing about a show I want to direct. After all, it's something I want to do, and if you enjoy your job, you never have to work a day in your life. I'm not certain that it will get me in the school - it's a tough program that only accepts a few directors, plus, I haven't really been directing around here - no one will hire me in that capacity! They say I don't have enough experience... but but... without experience I can't get hired or in a school that would give me experience! Ah the joys of this world we live in. Maybe it's just this country... I might have to get out of here and experience how wonderful the rest of the world is and finally see either how lucky I've been back at home or how much of a shithole my life really is in the states.

Wow, I think my concentration is off today, I just spent the last 10 minutes staring at various old emails about workshops and shit that are coming up, and realizing I probably couldn't make it to any one of them, let alone pay for them. This stupid business of connections is expensive - I guess I'm tired of it too. And of course there's the part of me that doesn't quite want to get a monologue critiqued, because, I, of course, have the best rendition of this monologue and no one can make it better ever in a million years. Then, once they DO make it better, I'll be like, oh cool! But then retreat into my defensive and criticized state that I usually do, even if I have PAYED for the class and am actually PAYING for this service. I don't know why I get defensive. So that's why I don't want to go. Of course, on the other hand, I really should get over that, and the best way to get over that stupid block is to just keep doing it and keep getting critiqued (because there are tons of people who will do it for you, some for free!). We'll see if I I do it. After all, classes will always be there, and I have a lot on my plate right now, what with new video games.

This window has now been open for an hour with me writing for bouts of 10-15 minutes at a time, thinking of what to say, then getting distracted by things I apply for or what my friends are doing. A lot of my buddies from Truman have been getting a lot of work. Good for them. Jealous a bit, yes. Not like I'd really want to do low paying summer stock or live in a historical reinactment mansion... but I would like to work some more. Come on guys. This one play every 4 months shit is getting to me.

Oh yeah, I am in Sunrise at Campobello! That's a good sign, and gettin' me some equity points. Just emailed their casting director about a general audition slot, but it's right when Nick's wedding is scheduled, so maybe I can just get to callbacks. That reminds me of a few others I should send my information to. Man, doing my own thing at work takes time!