My job is becoming more and more unbearable. Luckily, there may be an end in sight. Joe (big boss dude) is acting very strange around me, and Leah (my boss) is acting the same. Either they're both hiding the fact that they want to fire me, or they want to repremand me for something pretty big. But they need to have John, who is the even bigger boss, to seal the deal. Or maybe it's just overuse of internet. Or maybe... I don't know. I do know that without internet I would not have lasted as long as I have, probably not even a week. Especially now, since I've been writing more - just blogs, nothing to change the world - but still, it gives me an outlet to put out there into the world, and then I can copy them all and put them on my computer so I have them with me forever, and can see how weird I am many years down the road when we can make log entries with our brains.
Dinner Club was amazing last night. We talked about a lot of really cool things, probably because we weren't at a restaurant and we weren't trying to wreck up the place (Drew's House), and we had a little more invested in the meal since we were making the food. Well, I bought a cake, so I wasn't really making anything. We talked about what we want from art and how we wish the world was a place to make art. We talked about how I should just quit my job and find a job in my field, and how I can't do that, because the world we live in isn't like that and there isn't just a magical theatre job I can get. He even said, to help my sanity, that he would give me voice lessons, after my complaint that I'm not that great of a singer. I said last night that I'm coming to the conclusion that I am not what everyone wants, and the parts I get are and will always be rare; they need thin handsome leading men. Then everyone was very supportive of me and gave me a lot of compliments, which honestly I wasn't fishing for; I was genuinely sad about my prospects. Needless to say, I felt better about what they said. They certainly wouldn't lie to me - I have really good friends. Except that they're only advice was to move to New York. Which, ya know, is great advice, but I already know that I need to get out of this shithole theatre community.
I've been trying a bit as well. Yesterday I sent out my info to 3 agencies, and today I'm going to send out to some more. I think my next step really is to find a color copy of my headshot, but a part of me thinks that's just nitpicking the whole theatrical experience. Sure, the trend is definetly going towards color, but it doesn't really matter in the long run whether I get it now or later. However, if there is a good copy somewhere of my beautiful shining face, I will grab that and print them out at some professional place. Like I said, it's time to play the game. So maybe I'll take a workshop or two (and blow my money) and then hopefully someone will notice me and I'll get an agent that way, or a show that way, or something that way. It's all about getting seen, and being known, and I don't know shit about that, really.
Which is why tonight I am going to take up Drew on his offer and go into the city and see a concert. I have no idea who these people are or what they're going to sound like, and it certainly doesn't seem like any connections in the theatre community, but what the hell, I'm going to go out and meet more people and have a good time. Even if it's not meeting people that will further my career, I will be meeting people and having new experiences, which is certainly very important for life in general. And you never know who may be involved with theatre or in the future might. It sure beats sitting at home and playing Knighthood or LOTRO tonight. Even though it won't stop my stagnation, it will help me be more confident in experiencing new things, and that will help me leave the area.
Speaking of Knighthood, people have been stealing my vassals. Yeah, I know, that's the name of the game, really, but it's hard to get them back. I don't know if I can rescue Holly today; the Baron who stole her is now superly more powerful than I am. I guess the only thing to do is ask for a ransom or something... or just build up my defenses and offenses for a while and take her back at some later date. Yes, I'm a dork.
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