Phishing!

I am Barrister Jeff M. Brinko, An attorney at law. A deceased client of mine By name Rizal Knoll, that died by Airplane clash, that bear the same last name with you, who was heading to the capital of Indonesia (Jakarta) to attend a meeting with President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, on Tue Sep 6,2005 2:25pm. Leaving behind a deposit valued at $24 million dollars, the link below is the details http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/4214452.stm. With this i want to present you as the next of kin being that you share the same last name

This will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law, you can also contact me on my private EMAIL:(jeff_la88@hotmail.com).

Best Regards,
Barrister Jeff M. Brinko.

this is a true email from my inbox.

Awesome!

I have rehearsal in 10 minutes

There are a fantastic amount of wonderful activities that have been going throughout my life at the moment. The most fun being The Miser, and the mostest fun being my memories of New York that are still quite fresh in my mind. What a wonderful trip. It's good being back, and more fun still that I'm going to go to Vegas tomorrow (I'm trip happy at the moment), but the thoughts of NYC still linger in my mind. It's still weird to drive.

Speaking of which, I really need to pack my bags for the trip. And I really need to get to rehearsal. It's going to be an interesting show, I'd imagine. Very community theatre, but at least I know I'll be terrific. As if that really matters in this area.

So I went to New York City. It was probably one of the best vacations I've ever been on.

There Are A Lot of Electronics Next To Me

You know how you get that problem where you can't start writing and then you're just staring at a blank page and nothing's coming out? Yeah, writer's block? That's what it's called? Cool. Yeah, I have that shit. It'll go away once I start writing, but whenever I try and push through these stupid blocks, the writing always ends up being really shitty. Eh. Time to plough through it.

So in the meantime, maybe there's a little warmup course on blogger while watching Sunny, then maybe I can get through this review. It doesn't have to be that long after all, it's a one woman 70 minute show. Great show, to be honest. Sometimes the hardest thing is to write a review about a good show. Way to go theatre to actually make it hard for me to write something interesting!

It was a pretty awesome evening. She's an amazing performer. Very human. And... very absurd. Cool beans. What she does in a one woman show is better than most full fledged productions around the area. It certainly helps that she has TONS of experience, something like 20 years solo performance and writing experience. And boatloads of awards. Granted, awards don't mean anything around here, but in this case, it really does.

Three shows in three days is going to be my limit when it comes to watching and reviewing. It's an enlightening experience, and it certainly is fun to reread my writing from the past couple of days and seeing a marketable improvement; who knew that practice would actually work? *looks over at ukulele and guitar and piano and any other things that I've wanted to do for the past forever*

Also, it's been giving me an opportunity to wear some pretty cool outfits. Usually I'm in pajamas pretty much all day to save time in the evening where I don't need to need to wear pajamas. For example, today I'm wearing my vest and pocket watch. Rocking out that pocket watch.

Other stuff. I've been preparing for my audition on Monday for MTC. In contrast to most actors, I don't usually prepare enough, I don't think, so this time around there will be much more practicing of the monologues. At least a couple times a day, figuring out some other shit that I'd need to do, rather than just trotting it out like I usually do. Who knows, maybe it'll make a difference... positive thinking!

Addendum

Completely forgot to mention that we went to Asqew Grill last night before the show. It was delicious, if a little overpriced. They have a great happy hour, so that might be something to try out whenever we're free between 3-6.

Finished the review; thought I would write it this morning, but ended up not being able to sleep last night and writing it in the dead of night. I wish writing was always that easy; words just flew from my head onto the screen. Of course, I had to do a bit o' editing, but for the most part it was solid. I guess I like writing again.

---

Monica and I have been playing Beatles Rock Band more and more, and it's awesome to play some video games with the one you spend the most time with. I mean, it would be cool if I could get her to play an MMO sometime, but.. these things take time, and after all, there's always LEGO Universe coming out; she likes legos! We'll see.

Notes and an Observation

Just saw a pretty okay play this evening. At Marin Theatre Company. That seems the thing for this theatre company, mostly okay plays, sometimes really good ones, but mostly okay, and hell, they seem to be doing great by that; a sparkly theatre, plenty of sponsors, and lots of booze for the people who don't have the orgasmic feeling after seeing their shows. Ya see, that way, we can get drunk, and still like it? get it? It's not a perfect image, I'd imagine.

Anyway, just jotting down some stray ideas here so that the full thing is a little better when I plunk it out tomorrow. Funny, but unbelievable. Both main characters had no chemistry (which was the point, but it got a little tiresome). Third character broke the action too much, probably because there was really nothing going on with the first two. Brechtian in a good way at times, bad way in that it drug out the storyline a bit too much, and adding a subplot then tacking on an ending (who starts their own museum, anyway) was a little eh. The writing was good, the direction was a little off (no chemistry, weird blocking where every huge monologue was given center stage), and oops, the writing wasn't that great; up until the very end, the two main characters hated each other... there was no progression, it was even made more abundant with counting the times a certain character tried to hmph the hmph.

Good though. Just not well executed. Typical problem with MTC.

You know what I also just realized? Since installing windows 7 on my netbook, I deleted a bunch of writing I did on here when I was doing LEAD. Oh well. Obviously if I didn't care to back it up, I really didn't have much invested in it, but it's still a little disheartening; one should always keep every bit of writing. Anything helps, even if it's the writing that will never see the light of day.

Time to stew the play over over a good night's sitting awake for 3 hours and then getting spotty sleep throughout the rest of the night.

Currently Eating: frozen yogurt.

For the past year and some change, I've had a radio in my car that was unable to pick up any stations. For the past week and some change, flipping through the stations, to find my FM transmitter's station, it's flipped past a station that's crystal clear. Joy! And its the spanish language station! So I get international exposure, and something to end my crippling boredom while driving through meaningless traffic. I mean, totally, what's up with traffic these days? And turn signals? NO ONE uses turn signals anymore.

I'm such an old man, as stated by a facebook dialogue I had last night: okay, well I can't quite get the thing down right now... can't select all the text, but it was exactly that; instead of going out last night, I wanted to stay in and drink warm milk. It's more hilarious with the dialogue, but I'm way too lazy (and old) to work on it.

After writing this, I'm doing some organizing.

Today is a day of relaxing and staying warm. Even though it's quite warm outside, this lovely apartment I live in holds in the chill. It's quite refreshing, and gives me the excuse to sit in this chair with a blanket over my legs. Just practicing for when I'm 75 and in a nursing home on the moon.

Man, that would be awesome.

The Miser's going to be great. We have an excellent cast, which, like I said, was surprising, because it is pretty community theatre oriented (we have to do strike at the end of the run, for example)... but man, this cast is pretty nice. And it turns out I have a pretty awesome part; I always thought the other servant's role was the better one. I even have a little subplot! It's going to be cool. And I love having a fun part to do, in a really honored play. It's going to be great to have stuff on my resume that people know about. Not that it's going to really ever get me anything.

Speaking of not getting into some place, I have an audition at MTC coming up! I'm going to do an audition that *I* want to do, rather than something I think they want to see. Still having a hard time finding goat's blood though.

Shows

It's about four hours until I have my first rehearsal of The Miser. Now, this company is very community theatre oriented, and I certainly hope that this won't be a weird experience in the whole pantheon of shows that I've been doing lately. However, my very best friend is the director, so... when it comes down to it I'm sure everything will be pretty awesome. He's on the ball in many ways. And I don't mean on the ball in the sexual way.

Going to Target the other day, I found an excellent bowler hat and bought it for Monica, because I liked it. Because that's what we do for our loved ones; we find presents that we personally really love, and then get it for them, so we can play/use it ourselves. I love relationships. THEN, I found some gauntlet type gloves with the fingers cut out. So cool. Target is great. Capitalism is terrific.


The Hat


The Gloves. Yes; they're ladies' gloves.

I'm happy with my purchases.

Funny Coincidences

I think my chair is sinking. I suppose that happens when one gets a cheap chair from Ikea, and then moves into a soft floored house. Not that moving into a soft floored house is a bad thing, but it's just funny how low to the ground I am whilst playing my games. I mean, whilst applying for jobs. Yep. Jobs.

So anyway, furthering my acting studies, I've been watching 30 Rock, and then just started season 1 of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Both shows are pretty amazing, and finding jewels like these in the normal horrendousness that is television is awesome and good for my future. Even though everyone on these shows is super attractive and unrealistic... it's hard to get behind a show when everything seems unrealistic.

What's new? I have an callback tonight for The Miser, am very excited about it. In two weeks Monica and I are also going to New York! So everything's coming up Ben. Things are awesome now. And I love saying the word awesome. This holiday season is full of really fun shit. Super exciting.

As for the rest of the month before New York, I have to review four shows, and of course I haven't been keeping flexible in the writing department, so I'm a little worried about how I can push these out as quickly. But when it comes down to it, it's more about substance than length. Funny coincidence: that's what I tell everyone who's seen my penis, as well.

Halloweenrific

Taking Monica's nephews trick or treating last night was one of the sleeper awesome things for this Halloween season. Seeing those two kids' faces light up with candied delight was awesome! Not that I ever really want kids, but it's neat to rent them out for a little while.

That came out WAY wrong.

We had been invited to 5 parties later in the evening, but we bailed on them all to have chocolate beer at Iron Springs. And salad. Yeah, I was surprised at the salad part too.

So what I forgot to say was that we participated in a giant Thriller dance last weekend, breaking the world record for the most people dancing Thriller simultaneously. And my costume that I built won a costume contest. And also we should rent those out, because many people are asking if we rented them.

It's been a pretty wonderful couple of weeks. Especially considering two minutes before firing up the old blogger I said no to a gig on New Year's Eve to spend close to home and just relax with the lurve.

A few weeks

It's been a pretty amazing couple of weeks. I made a few awesome costumes - both that can and will be used for multiple occasions throughout this and every year. Awesome. I'm really proud of my work... even though in the middle of the costume making my sewing machine broke and the repair shop said it would cost more to fix than it would to just buy a new machine! So. I bought a new machine. And I complain about it (the buttonholes are automatic; at first I thought that would be amazing, but now I'm not so sure. When the buttonholes didn't work.) but everything's okay, and I seem to have a way to compensate, so that's all wonderful.

Hindsight: should have taken some pictures of the process and posted them.

Anyway, to complete my ensemble, I need me some suspenders and a tie tac. And also I'm probably going to try and make a holster for my steampunk gun. AND I MADE A STEAMPUNK GUN. Wow, stream of consciousness much?

Aaand the real reason I'm writing here is that I need to get back into practice; shows later this month. Also, writing is cool, right?

Love,

Ben

Octoberesque

Because I am a wasteful American, I am typing on my laptop while my other computer sits in the other room. It's strange to have more computers in my household than some people ever have.

Also, I had a little bit to drink tonight, some bad wine here at home, and some wine back at my mom's house. A good end to a pretty terrible day of not finding a place to park and having some awkward interactions with people during the show. It's weird, some days you really understand and like people, and it seems they like you, and other days, it's like everybody's being a dick. Sometimes there are just days of perfect storm assholery.

The good things that have been happening is that the weather has been cooling down, and they've started playing Halloween movies on TV... don't tell Monica, but this really is my favorite time of year. Unfortunately, Monica is sick tonight, so I'm keeping her company at a safe distance. But hey, at least there was scooby doo and horror movies made for kids.

Call Me Madam continues to be fun and successful. It's so much fun to be in a show I believe in and am having a blast with. So fuck yes. And my part gets goofier and goofier, and that's always excellent.

Working on my new computer is pretty awesome. And that it was cheap, awesome, and super duper fast equals even more amazing. I do love me some computing. And later, I'm going to install another partition and have some gaming fun! I am such a geek.

Woo!

Geek!

Holy fuck! My computer came super early! I was going to use today to back up my current computer and set everything up on my external hard drive. I'm still going to do that today, but I can't stop drooling over this new thing. The gaming capabilities... oh man! And also it's just joyful. So joyful.

And the play's going well. I'm actually liking going out with my castmates. I usually hate my castmates!

Got an email from our director; she's a great director, very different from what I've been used to this summer, so that's cool, but for some reason the super attentiveness is getting to me. Anyway, this email was about the receptions after the show, giving a dress code about what all the men should wear.

Yes, okay. Receptions are important. But... maybe just a reminder that we have one?

Anyway, I plan on getting WASTED and throwing up everywhere. But at least I'll be wearing something nice.

Catching up on all the new seasons of shows; glad Danko's dead, and I am so over Sylar. That's it really. The actor is great, but the character is getting super boring for me. Other shows are starting super great. So that's awesome. I like television. I just don't like watching TV.

The awesomer stuff is that Call Me Madam is going really well, and I'm actually having fun with theatre again! It's almost like the past 12 weeks of summer are washing away from me! Yay! Almost.

Throw Money At It

One hundred and fifty dollars later, the power of the arctic blows freely in my car! Turns out, all it needed was a recharge, and the reason my gauge wasn't saying it needed a recharge was because it was still pressurized.... so the moral of the story is to throw money at it. Luckily, I saved about 200 bucks by going to a different place than our regular mechanic, happy about that, but still, I don't have a lot of money.... but hopefully the drag that is saved in gas money will pay for itself. Also comfort has a price.

Also, I'm hungry. Time for a sandwich.

Okay, there's no sandwich fixin's here, so I might have to make a excursion to Trader Joe's for some deliciousness. Or I might just be lazy and eat some pretzels. Hey, it's junk food with no fat. Besides, I took a nice walk today. WHY AM I DEFENDING MYSELF TO A JOURNAL?

Insomnia Makes Me Type

Tomorrow's going to be a day of doing stuff. I need to get the air conditioner in my car fixed, especially since I plan to have it for many years to come, and I've been putting it off for way too long. The stupid thing about the whole situation is that I really don't have a trusted mechanic around here, and checking on yelp, there's no person in the area that pops out. My plan is to go to the guy I usually go to tomorrow (if there's time) and if not, I have an appointment with another place on Tuesday. Yes, boring, I know, but once I have blisteringly cold air coming out of my vents, everyone will want to be riding in my car!

Brigadoon is over and done with. Thank gods. We were rained out of our last performance, so woo hoo to that! And I've been on to complain sometimes about Call Me Madam, but for the most part it's been an incredibly positive experience, especially with my disrespectful experiences I've been having earlier, and of course it's nice to be in a show where they actually utilize me as the triple threat that I am. Booya!

Monica and I went to Sacramento the other day, so that she can talk to her advisor about restarting her thesis and graduating. It was an incredibly positive meeting, and we were able to spend the rest of the day doodling around Sac, which is always fun, especially when we end up at a costume store and find an Awesome Parasol, a Dance Macabre mask, and a Sweet Pocketwatch (working!); it was a great day for everyone. Plus we ate a whole lot. They got some good restaurants there in Sac.

The rest of life is okay. The car is the biggest task of the next couple of days, and I hope it to be done by tomorrow (my theory, it's a wire that needs to be kajiggered back into place). After that, I'm probably going to be a beach exerciser; I want to take advantage of the beauty around me, it seems like for a LONG time I've just been taking for granted the fact I live on the coast. Many people don't ever see the ocean, let alone such a beautiful area as mine... so I need to be grateful.

Now that I'm working on a show where I'm respected (for the most part) and used (for the most part), I'm beginning to love my career again. It's not a perfect place, nothing is, and at this point in my life I'm very sensitive to things like disrespect and taking advantage of your performers, so it's easy to see some mostly innocent requests coming from the production team as criticisms, which puts me on the defensive. But I'll get past that, if they continue to release me early, and I learn my shit, which I will, of course.

This morning I've rediscovered my love of oatmeal, and how it helped me lose so much weight earlier in the year. It fills me up for hours, and all I need as a snack later is some almonds or some other thing that fills me up. That's the key folks, just don't eat a whole lot. Unlike me, who had a huge in and out burger last night, but hey, that's a once in a while treat.

Monica's back from sad times down in LA; her aunt (and general cool person) died late last week, and the whole family went down there to pay their respects and to start figuring out the estate that she left behind. From what I can see, it's pretty awkward, but there's a ton of love in that family... so it ends up being kind of heartwarming in the end, as she talks about some of the good stuff that happened. Some of the bad stuff that happened, however, is pretty terrible, but does seem like normal familial hate in these normal situations.

Late Late show

Candy is getting me through this horrible rehearsal process. This whole thing is just in the ARGH stage, which happens at theatres that I even like, so one can only imagine what it's like at a theatre I have the hatred of a thousand suns. And candy isn't a person, it's candy. Delicious candy from World Market. Gotta love that british candy.

I also worked on my schedule for Call Me Madam, hopefully we'll get shit done in time for me to not feel completely in the dark when it comes to music, dancing, or blocking. Luckily, this part is SUPER small, and that means less time at the theatre! I'm happy for a smaller role... soon I bet I'll be happy for something bigger, but for right now, I'm doing just fine.

When I was watching CSI during the day, there were many commercials for trade schools or nursing schools. At first, I didn't put two and two together, but it eventually dawned on me, and it made me feel a little odd that I was actually considering the Motorcycle Institute at UTI. Yes, that's an actual school. I think I'm just yearning for something, and school is certainly something I can have control over... but maybe I'll focus on something like dance rather than learning how to fix a bike.

Also, my insomnia's back. I'm incredibly tired, but unable to sleep. Sigh.

Here I am

Kennedy dying sucks. But he was old and sick. But he was cool. It happens.

So I've just been keeping busy with Brigadoon; Singin' in the Rain ended a few weeks ago. I have a lot more to do in this one, but it's still the same old shit at this theatre company that I've been complaining about this whole season, and I tried to stop complaining so I don't loathe the rehearsal process. Never again, that's what's pushing me through the whole thing. I don't know why people would ever go back there. Granted, if I was equity, I'd go back there... so maybe that's the thing.

My life has been pretty much the same, job search, rehearsal, exercise, video games, maybe hanging out with friends. I need to get back on the ball with some auditions, but with this past year of theatrey goodness, I think I might want to take a short break for a while. After all, with The People's Theatre, I'll pretty much always have a part.

In the meantime, I'll try and get back on the ball with writing, and maybe I'll start reviewing other things, like shows and movies that Monica and I go see, to keep things fresh. My other writing is slow, but it's happening, so there you go. The best thing to do is write.

I also need to shave.

Just stuff

Things have been super busy in the Ben world as of late. And yet, I still have plenty of time to watch my new favorite, albeit very short, show, Freaks and Geeks; why has it taken me super duper long to find this in my life? Jeez.

Anyway, Singin' in the Rain is going alright for the most part, it's just a constant struggle working with a slightly unprofessional thing when it comes to the running of the entire place; if there's one turnoff in my life, it's disrespect, and this company has it in spades. It was slightly (really slightly) better today at the end - the stage manager really listened to my concern, and actually made some changes in the way the scene change was done. So a high note.

I've been stupidly depressed about not having money, or being in a job that could support me... I'm just tired of being completely dependent. Not completely of course, as devotees know, I'm a super writer and actor and singer, etc., but for some reason my mind has been wandering down the different paths my life could have taken. Weird thoughts happen after a 12 hour rehearsal process.

Also, I'm going to Ikea tomorrow, I think.

What Actually Happened

Yesterday I called in sick to rehearsal, feverish, unable to sleep, I dialed the stage manager's number, telling her I need to get rest, and that I would try to make it, but would call her if I could. I slept the rest of the day.

I mean, what really happened is because of the horrible disrespect they've given me, and other actors (yet most others they don't seem to see it) my little rebellion is calling in sick to a show, something I've never done before, something that made me feel a little weird at first, but then simply washed away. Also, bunches of other people aren't showing up. I guess it comes down to a respect thing.

What I REALLY did yesterday was go to the SF Theater Festival and watch/film the performance of Crazy! We turned out to be the stars of the morning, better than a lot of the stuff that was going on earlier in the day... and later in the day for that matter. I say we, because the cast gratefully emphasized that I'm in the cast as well was directed. And we were approached bunches of times afterwords. So cool.

Now I'm watching Fringe, and going to go on a super big hike later today, to start getting back into shape. Fringe is... very formulaic. Yet big casts interest me. And it's fun.

Surprisingly hard to write lately. I really need to write a little bit every day.

So I really just said to myself, "okay, one more episode, then I'm playing some video games."

I love me some life right now.

Except for some frustrating rehearsals, but eh. Don't want to stress about that a third time.

Takes a Turn For the Gross at The End

July 4 has come and gone, and I rehearsed the entire day. In fact, that's what I've been doing, and will be doing until the end of time. But it's good to be busy, and fun to be in this silly show. I'm confident the show is WAY more fun to be in than it is to watch, particularly because I have hours of time to just shoot the shit, and then a fun song, and then backstage to eat some chips.

It's a hard actor's life.

Granted, the rest of the summer's going to be hard, with ever harder shows that *gasp* I actually need to work on vocals. But not this one! So I'm going to take advantage of it while I can!

Yesterday, Monica and I went to gold country. It was amazing. We watched while people panned for gold, we dipped candles, and we ate ALL DAY LONG. Thus, my tummy still hurts, and my farts are extremely smelly. Yep, tmi, but that's what you get.

Stuff and Rehearsal

So what? I'm called at 6:00 tomorrow? What? Who calls people to rehearsal at 6:00? Especially when they're grown ups who (mostly) have work to do and such. I'm just a little bloopy (I just made a hilarious new word) because they said they would start at 7:30 sharp... rather than an hour and a half early. It's mostly just a principal thing, but whatever. I'll be there, and probably have nothing to do for a very long time. I've been having a great time, it's just... a little unorganized at times.

However, I did find a new D&D game, with real people! Let's hope that happens at some point in the near future.

Tomorrow, my mom and I are going to the Marin County Fair, where I'll probably have more funnel cake. And I haven't seen my mom in like.. weeks, so that'll be a good thing. Miss my mommy. She's awesome.

Monica's home! Time to be homey.

Marin County Fair

Had a night off from rehearsal last night (the suprisingly frustrating Peter Pan) and on mostly on a whim, Monica and I went to the Marin County Fair. Now, this really is a fair, with farm animal judging and stuff, but it also has a great art section; it's like a art museum of our neighbors. Always my favorite part of the whole event. Also, we saw a woman who was wearing a costume from Star Wars (no, not the Leia slave one, the red one where the mouth is covered), and her eyes looked exactly like Carrie Fisher's. It was pretty cool, and I hope she gets tons of work just for that fact. The only odd thing was that I kept on looking, and she kept on catching my eye, and I didn't want to get caught looking, so it was an awkward repeition of me looking down, etc.

As in all county fairs, I ate way too much and too horribly, so it's back on eating better and doing some exercises during the day. I was able to eat some really delicious Gyros, and an incredibly gross funnel cake. Gross = delicious... let's just say it's a good thing I only get those once a year. Bleh. It's always a miracle that I enjoy them.

Tonight it's back to Peter Pan and my Summer Of Musicals. I'm going to enjoy the short run of these plays and the relatively easy rehearsal process. After all, my contract says ensemble (singer), not dancer. So ha! Just wish they realized that I could dance; it's always frustrating when a capable performer like me gets underused. Oh well.

Tell you the truth, I am SO ready for a break.

Funemployment

Today marks the one year anniversary of my laidoffness from SWA. Remember those days? You probably can check previous blog entries from a year ago if you want... they're all pretty abysmal, but I do enjoy the one where I talk about how I had a cold at work. Ah, the office drone days.

I think I'm going to take a moment to reflect on all the things I've done since I've been laid off.

• Looked for jobs.
• Done a shit ton of theatre.
• Made some great connections at the Discovery Channel.
• Lost 30 pounds.
• Traveled to Memphis.
• Planned a trip to New York.
• Am a hair's breadth away from being in Equity.

So. All in all. I'm doing pretty well, and I have a wonderful support system around me; I'm very lucky in this horrible economy... I don't really have to worry, all I have to do is not eat out as much.

And now back to video games.

Crazyyyy

So Crazy, Just Like Me is over. It seems to me like I was just talking about the rehearsal process, and then all of a sudden I was hit with a wave of work - happy work, work that kept me busy and productive and really great artsy stuff, but so much that I took an internet vacation and stuck to zoning out when at a computer, mostly with Half-Life 2.

But. Here's a postmortum on Crazy: it was pretty much better than we could have ever anticipated. Technically speaking, it was a beautiful show, and the actors (including myself, I should toot my own horn sometimes) were fantastic. I was told it was better than the last version, which made me proud, and I genuinely think its true; it was a lot of hard work, but we all pulled our own weight, so I never was really worried it was going to be anything less of a sucess. We never had one of those "I can't believe it all came together somehow" - save the normal "I can't believe it all came together somehow" that all shows have... this one didn't seem as miraculous as some others I've worked on or have seen the processes of.

Good work, everyone. And now, I'm back to being online.. maybe. Who knows? First, I'm back to normal acting.

Love,

Ben

More Craziness

The trouble with the past couple of weeks? I've been way too busy for anything other than sleeping and eating, and the occasional video gaming (but even that's pretty rare, just ask my friends in Lord of the Rings Online). What have I been busy with? Well, that's easy, it's Crazy, Just Like Me, our revival of our production we did last year. It's going incredibly well, and we've had the great opportunity to film some backstage stuff; way more than we did for the last one. Plus, we're much better friends than we were the last time we put this up.

That and I've been lazy. And got a running stop sign ticket. That's fun.

So yes, nap time!

A Crazy Update

The first week of rehearsals for Crazy, Just Like Me, has been pretty fantastic. The read through was a little disappointing in terms of length of the script (my god, was it really 2 hours just to read?!) but actually sitting down and plugging away with the blocking of the first act was AMAZINGLY successful. In two days of rehearsing, we blocked the entire first act, and even had a musical rehearsal (of which I didn't participate in, but can only assume went well).

This cast is great, and working out the kinks from the last production is as easy as pie, and even evolving the good shit from the last production is great. I started this process in the beginning not wanting to change much - I liked how it was done the last time - but since we're in a bigger space, I wanted to use the entire venue, and try to have as few scene changes as possible. (So far, in the entire first act, we're up to 2, I predict 2 more in the second act (tailor scene and wedding). That reminds me, we need to get a trellis or something so they can walk through.

Anyway, these actors are really cool, and are responding very positively to my direction, even when it's something completely new from what they've tried before, the important thing is to play around with new things, exploring what these characters are going through from different angles. In a show that all of them have done before, the challenge is to find something new... and if it doesn't work, fuck! I quit. Or we can change it. (I'm taking my advice as well, trying to bring something different to the table. Yes, I'm in the show too.)

The next week we really kick it into high gear, and I plan on being off book for at least one of my scenes. Everyone else has the same amount of discipline, if not more so, but I know how awful it is to memorize lines... so good luck to us all.

Also, Stormfield is up! It's FUCKING BRILLIANT! Please check it out!

I was really looking for a name for our Glee Club...

So I found this http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/wikipedia-names-your-band/the_emo-band-name-generator and decided to try it out. Resulting in this:



I'm now addicted.

Documenting Stupidity

Hi friends.

Tonight (or rather last night, since it's now almost 3 am) I was pulled over by a cop, and was told I rolled through a stop sign. Not sure it was my fault, but in the end, I was the only person on the road... and well that cop wasn't an asshole.

In any case, I'm going to see how much it is, and if it's completely obscenely priced, THEN I'll try and fight it. I'm angry and said, especially because I'm a good guy. There are tons of horrible drivers out there, and me, the Good Guy, gets pulled over. Fuck. Well. If it's less than 200 bucks, I'll just do it and traffic school.

Fuck.

But I'll document it, because it's interesting in its horrible stupidness.

A day

One hour of pretty hard core exercise down, then a little bit of walking, then a nice healthy lunch. I am totally doing good today. I feel like I can do ANYTHING! Exercise really is the miracle drug. High on life. Sweet action.

Also, Legend of the Seeker is pretty good, if a little corny. But it's on the lines of Xena and Hercules, only a little darker... and I will accept this new direction this trusted fantasy guy is taking me. Even though Zedicus Zuul Zurander is a really stupid name. And wow, lightning on the sword? holy shit. This is getting weird.

Oh wow, in rambling stream of consciousness, google voice just sent me an email saying I have a new voicemail... and it's some dude talking about a laptop. Thought it was spam, but it turns out, it was an actual dude who called about a laptop and apparently this is the last number they had. This shit is pretty awesome.

Nothing much else to say. I hope to have a even more delicious dinner.

Wonderful walk with Monica this morning! She had a late meeting so we were able to walk into our small town and eat breakfast at the mediocre cafe I seem to like way too much. Oh, and hey my unemployment check came in.

Wish I was doing something more with this ton of time off... wish I really had the motivation to get into shape rather than just this halfassedly kinda thing, but when it comes to it, I really need more like a trainer to help me. Or at the very least a friend who is unemployed as well, and could go to the gym for 8 hours of a day. Well, maybe not that much. Don't think I'd be doing that much.

Smoke Detectoring

Should I wear shorts for the rest of the day or should I put on some pants? The temperature has dropped drastically, but I'm not really happy with the pants option. Not sure what I should do with this afternoon. No matter what, the worst I could be is cold, the best I could be is comfortable. I'm sticking with shorts.

This is my exciting news in my life lately. Also, the smoke detector is running low on batteries so it's being particularly annoying. Stupid safety and me having to go get some batteries. Sheesh.

AND I GOT MY NEW GLASSES! I'm super excited.

That's it.

Super Slow Internet

I'm convinced that no matter what internet is happening in this place, it will always be slow... at least this is consistently online... but no matter what, it's always dragging and awful. Even the surrounding wifi that I sometimes borrow around here is super incredibly sluggish.

Also, for some reason I really want to go to the Hollywood sign in LA. Like in all those movies where they're sitting around the sign. Can you do that? Is that possible? Or is that just a movie thing?

Also I want to go to Hawaii.

Also, I gained 2 pounds. Fuck.

Coupla Days

Has it been a while? Yeah, it happens, and a lack of events in my life have been keeping me from really writing anything else. Wildcat's been going well, and aside from some line flubs tonight, (and most every other nights) things have been smooth. Well, I'm always great, but those OTHER actors, well.. we can't all be a Ben.

Rocked out an audition tonight; trotted out a new song "Change in Me" - it turned out to be pretty amazing, and it impressed the audition people enough to have them read me for the three shows they're doing later this year.

wow, had to rewrite a bunch of these sentences - syntax is off in my tired state.

Saw Star Trek, Wolverine. Both were entertaining movies, Star Trek amazed my face off with it's awesomeness. Seriously, it's a wonderful new twist on the series that comes from people who really want the franchise to succeed. Thought nothing could pull back after Enterprise. Man, I might go see it again, and I don't really see movies twice in theatres anymore.

Okay, a pee and a tooth brush (hopefully not at the same time) and a bedtime for me.

Pokemon Saved My Life

Okay so I still haven't finished writing about my trip? Well, that'll just wait a few more days. Or just a day, because all my pictures are on my lovely laptop. So yeah.

The runs have been going well (not the diarrhea) and despite the fact I've been called 2 hours before the show actually starts, it's a good time. I guess we ARE still in rehearsal, so the 2 hours are useful for some people... but for those of us that are only in some scenes and NO dance numbers, it's a little bit of a long haul. Thank god for Pokemon, that's all I have to say. Also I'm bringing a book tonight. So much for that reading a play a week thing I meant to do this year. Oh yeah, remember that I was trying to do that? Didn't happen.

Mom's coming tonight, so that should be even more fun. Plus maybe some drinks afterwords. I love my mom. She's cool.

A Barfy Day

Threw up this morning. It must have been the super fatty fast food I had last night, but it could have been anything else; I've been feeling bad since yesterday afternoon. I hate throwing up (who really likes throwing up? Honestly.) although afterwords it certainly made me feel better in my tummy.

The big problem with this is that I was supposed to do something really cool today, a really cool internship that I have to keep quiet as it's still going on... but I'd rather not get other, more importanter people sick. And to be honest, Monica is right, I have to worry about myself (and my own career) before other things; I need to be well for the run through tonight.

Also, I'm sick of this voice actor that does the Clone Wars newsreel narrations; he's not a bad voice actor, he just has a very noticeable voice, and I'm tired of hearing it in all of my shows that I watch. Especially when I'm sitting here all barfy and trying to sleep. I much prefer Will Arnett's voice on Cartoon Network.

So. Cartoons and water with the occasional saltine today. Not a bad sick day, if I do say so myself.

5/3

I sit here with my lurve after an extremely long rehearsal, and I'm satisfied I'll sleep this evening, and that's a good thing, considering how stupidly unsleepy I've been for so long. All I've been doing this weekend is rehearsing, no movies, no video games, no nuthin. Especially none of the stuff that I've been planning to do, like watch Wolverine and Battle for Terra. (Both Reviewed Medocrely, but I want to see them still.)

In addition to rehearsal and my upcoming movies this week, I want to try and get back on the horse when it comes to exercise, and do my aerobics in addition to my normal shit of just getting out and walking; my weight loss is still happening, but it's happening at a slower pace than I'd want. Not that I'm getting weird about it! It's just that I need to get back on the ball. Shooting for 2 pounds a week, folks, lets keep that up.

Also on Tuesday I'm doing a very special internship that I hope will be as awesome as I think it is. Granted, I'm just going to be the sandwich guy thing, but this may be something I never forget. All thanks to monica.

And so to bed.

Just some stuff.

First run through tonight! And we open in less than a week; how did this happen? And I all of a sudden have an audition tomorrow! I need to actually prepare! How do these things happen?

Plan for tonight: work on monologues on the car ride into the city! I'm a genius. Also, when I'm not on stage, I'm totally going to work on them then! Or possibly play Pokemon. Actually, Pokemon will most definitely be played. Or monologues.

Anyway, I'm always nervous about auditions, but something that just came out of nowhere makes me even more nervous.

And blog out!

Rehearsal and Such

An email this morning: All called, Stumble-thru/work Act 2.

I've been critical of the scheduling and directorial process of wildcat in the past, and I know it's a hard thing to keep so many plates spinning at once when you're a director, but there are some scenes we just haven't touched throughout this process... and I'm still a little annoyed.

Perhaps it's just because I haven't been called that often that I haven't been in the habit of thinking I'm really in a show, it's more that I go to a rehearsal for an hour or two in the evening, and then head home to play prince of persia or whatever. It's been very odd, actually. Well, at least for the actual show I won't have a whole lot to do, and it's equity points. So there you have it.

I'm just tired of the incompetence of the various theatre companies around here. Sigh. It happens, and I feel I'm writing this more and more... but honestly the frustration doesn't go away, so what else should I write?

---

I really want a flying carpet lately. Is that weird? I think it is. But it'd be fun!

Saturday in St Louis

This was the day to try and get everything else done; and honestly, we put way too much on our plate for the trip... especially the time after getting back from Memphis. Did you know that practically everything was closed that Sunday? Yeah, it was Easter, but still... what about all the secular people? Huh? What about us? Nevertheless, it was pretty fun anyway.

After our harrowing trip back to get the car, and coming back home before collapsing in a heap on the bed the night before, we slept pretty well, and pretty late into the morning. This day was the day of more museums, and looking back on it now really makes me wonder why we had such a hard time figuring out our schedule that day... we went to the Scott Joplin house, as well as the art and history museum... and for some reason we had to leave early.... for something. Oh well, I'm sure Monica will tell me and I'll edit this later.

Scott Joplin house was first.



This was the place where Joplin lived from 1903 to 1906 or something like that; some very small period of time. It would have been fun, but the tour guide was an idiot, and the museum itself was talking about how houses were back then, rather than who Joplin was and his accomplishments. Several times, I looked over to Monica to see a look of sadness and the words I am sooo sorry on her lips. It was pretty hilarious.

As said, we went to the art museum, saw some cool old stuff. "I have exhibit envy." said Monica several times throughout the presentations. It's a cool place, (favorite: mummies) with a neat outside garden that I had a really arty picture of me taken.. but I can't find it, so here's a pic of me in front of the history museum.



History museum was fun as always, and we skipped the world's fair exhibit this time, to see other ones, like the one from the start of St. Louis as a city, through the fire, before we had to go for some reason... it was cut short. I have no idea why now that I'm writing this. Isn't that weird? I remember having to leave early, but for what... no idea.

We also tried to go to Crown Candy that day... but the line was literally stretching around the block, so we didn't do that.

Later that evening we headed out to O'Fallon (OH THAT'S RIGHT, WE WERE LEAVING TO GO HERE!) to visit Nick and Melissa, and to go to Dave and Buster's for delicious dinner and fun playing of games. We were going to go to the City Museum that evening, to keep our Day of Museums going, but I think that our friends didn't know what it was, so were hesitant to come to the city and see what it was. (Their loss... it's one of the best places to go ever.)

Always good to see Nick and Miss, and playing and winning at Dave and Busters was incredible as well!



It's a grown up arcade. Also, we had a huge dessert that was delicious. We also had an annoying waiter. As before, we drove home and collapsed in bed.

Did I mention we were sleeping on an air mattress? yeah, that got annoying after a while.

Maybe It's Swine Flu?

Lately all of my XP experiences have been filled with viruses and horrible things that pop up every now and then. I don't know where they're coming from, but I'm beginning to have an idea, and I don't like it... but if it means the goodness of my computer, I think I need to think of the bigger picture here, rather than games that I have a slight inkling of playing. So, no more games, no more questionable content... and we'll see if that helps.

Of course, if it doesn't help, I'm totally looking for Bioshock 2. KIDDING.

---

TV's on in background, and just played one of those Kay Jewlery commercials where there's a woman who only feels validated when she has diamonds and there's a guy who only feels like he has a penis if he gets his girl diamonds. Ended with: "I've never felt more beautiful." Bonus points for including kids in it; total exploitation.

Oh! That reminds me of my dad's commercial in St. Louis. They included a kid in that too, presumably as dad's kid. Whenever he has a kid in a commercial it is always just a little weird to me. It's happened before, but honestly, you really can't use me to exploit things in that direction anymore; I doubt they want a 6 foot slightly overweight man to make people want to shelter and protect something. Well, maybe protect me from diabeties.

---

Speaking of Swine Flu, I think it's all sensationalist media. More people have died from the common cold this year than have died or even been infected by Swine Flu. So stop talking about it please.

Although, it is funny to say every time Monica coughs that she has Swine Flu.

Okay, time for a walk. Been way too lazypants lately.

Friday In Memphis/Tunica

Woke up in Tunica, apparently sleeping through tornadoes reeling across the area. (Sidenote: did you know tornadoes is spelled with an es, like tomatoes? I just found that out. Thanks, spellcheck!) Our whole reason to go to Tunica was to stay at Harrah's, so we could go to the Paula Deen buffet, and by gum we were going to get there! Plus maybe play some games. We like casinos.

The buffet was everything it advertised and more. Amazing stuff. Favorites:

• Hoecakes (fried cornmeal pancakes)
• Fried green tomato eggs benedict
• Grits; and Monica has a great story involving a buffet attendant telling her off. It was pretty cool, but I honestly thought they would be Charming Southern, not Condescending Southern.

Also there were the common stuff like pancakes and eggs; all were excellent, because, ya know, the butter.

Our goal for the rest of the day was to get to the National Civil Right's Museum, where the Lorraine Motel used to be, and is, reconstructed. This whole event is something that I'm really unable to put into words. We followed a pretty fantastic tour guide, had our minds blown in so many ways, and I certainly can't speak for Monica, but I was choking back tears the entire time. From a replica of the bus that was firebombed to the actual piece of cement that has evidence from King's death, it was truly awe inspiring.

There were some awkward moments: I wished there was more examples and exhibits of the Movements that this one inspired, but that's really a minor thing, to tell you the truth.

Afterwards, there really wasn't much anything else on our plate, and we tried to get out to the Gibson factory, which we missed out on all the tours until 4, way later than we'd want to stay (we had busy stuff planned for the rest of the weekend) so instead we just hung around Beale Street, wishing we could stay longer, and eating fried pickles and fried green tomatoes. That was a good thing, actually.

Fried pickles and tomatoes were our staple on the ride home, which was a great ride, mostly because of the great company, and even returning the car to the awkward Enterprise place before taking a shuttle back to the airport before taking a shuttle back to our car in the long term lot was pretty uneventful. But suprisingly fun to write.

Haven't posted in a super duper long time, but several updates have happened. Went through my Brigadoon callback, went well. Grandma left. Thank god. Applied for jobs. Now up late, unable to sleep, and watching a horrible comic as a guest on a horror host show on KOFY.

I really want sleep to come back so I don't have to watch this shit anymore.

Beach Day

So grandma's in town, as readers will know. So we're doing things we normally don't do, which includes mom taking a day off work, and us all going to Pacifica for a day at the beach with the girls!

Joy was had, sea glass was found, and I actually didn't freeze when jumping in the water. It was an amazing day, which left me pooped (but like always I'm still awake for some reason) from exercise and watching the weird people that end up on the beach on a hot Monday. And boy was it fucking hot today.

The cool thing about being unemployed, aside from the not having to work and the government sends you more and more money, especially because the spiralling downward economy requires them to extend it longer, is that you get to spend an entire day on the beach if you want to, and you can see the different people that show up throughout the day. Afternoon was filled with moms and kids, more and more young couples came in the afternoon, and then after 3ish, TONS of kids appeared. Good idea. I'd be at the beach too.

Joan, Lauren, and Violet are great. Violet (who is 2) ran around naked almost the entire day. The last time I tried that, I was arrested, so there was a little double standard here, but it was a pretty good time anyway.

Thursday Memphis Trip

This day was an EPIC day.

The morning started awkwardly; my dad being as strange as ever, not driving us to the airport to pick up the rental car and strangely enough, leave his car at the long term parking at the airport. So let's just get a tally of where all our cars are:

1. Rental is at the airport.
2. Dad's car is in long term parking at aiport.
3. Monica's is in long term parking at Oakland aiport.

Just a lot of complications, especially when it comes to which trams' receipt and which parking lot ticket we have floating around in our wallets. In any case, the shuttle took us to the terminal, and the rental car shuttle took us down the road a bit to our new rental car. After a lot of fucking around with who can drive, etc. (turns out I could have driven the car legally if I had just said we were married... good old wholesome Midwest) and the odd taxes and securities that come from the airport, we were on the road in a bright orange Kia of some sort.

Our ride to Memphis was interesting and fun, with The Mixed Up Files playing throughout, and the landscape changing with each mile; we were heading south, and while it was flat for some time, we enjoyed the pretty easy drive down. We were getting pretty psyched to get to this pretty fantastic mecca of awesome music.

Aaand our first stop was Sun Studio! It's where Elvis, Cash, etc. recorded... and more recently, U2, and we stood in the exact same place, holding the exact same mic, making the oddest poses, that they did when they were recording! That was the highlight of the scene, but the whole Studio is a great museum with some pretty cool artifacts from that time period, including a recording of Elvis' first... uh... recording. (It sucked, by the way.)

THEN THEN, we went to the Stax Museum, which was even better than Sun Studio (sorry dude, you were a great guide, they just have a better museum); the whole tour through this musuem went through what the studio looked during that time period, and the history of soul in the area, to what celebrities lived like... ONE block away. It was pretty cool also, everyone interviewed about Stax, when it was a recording studio, said that there really was no racism in the building. Neat.

Next, Beale street, and walking around through that cool area, eventually ending up at Dyers, home of the 100 year old grease that fries those delicious burgers. Burger Journey continues. And throughout Beale street, music was wafting out of restaurants and through plazas... all amazing music. This really is still a Mecca for musicians.

One short ride to Tunica, ending at Harrah's, and the thoughts of Paula Deen's buffet the next morning danced in our heads as we most decidedly did NOT gamble, but instead fel fast asleep so quickly.

Recent Events

My callback today went pretty well. Well, pretty well in the sense that I got a great workout, sang probably the best out of everyone there, and read among the top. The funny thing is... I don't really think I want this gig, and that makes me laugh; all the callbacks/auditions I do REALLY well on are ones I really don't think would be a great career booster. Why oh why can't I redirect that luck to something I'd really love to do.

Anyway. A mosquito hawk is fucking with me this evening. It annoys me, but I can't smash it; it kills my nemeses.... so I must learn to live with it running into my eye. Yes, folks, it just ran into my eye as I was typing this. I might have swatted it to oblivion. Oh well. They're big fuckers, but it totally was creeping me out.

Ever messed with Braid? It's awesome, and I think I OD'ed on it during the past couple of days. And I'm convinced that one of the stars is impossible to get because my laptop has too little of a processor to get the framerate fast enough and reaction time down... but it may just be my reflexes that need to tune up.

Aaand I have 2 days off rehearsal! Yep. I should be learning my lines during those days, and you know what, it's probably going to happen. This is for Wildcat by the way. It's fun.

STL Wednesday

Hooray! Some backstory on Breaking Bad!

Anyway, the Wednesday was filled with some fun in St. Louis. Mostly involving the Zoo and some wonderful times there; I love that goddamn Zoo. The main event were the hippos; they are truly the shining star of that place. The big cats are still my favorite when it comes down to it, for realz.

A Zoo Anecdote: While most Zoos don't have as active hippos as the St. Louis Zoo, they still have hippos, and in my opinion, most people see hippos either pretty stationary or pretty far away, so they may not get the full effect that comes with epic hippo watching in STL. During our visit to the hippo place, some white trashey people were watching the hippo, pretty close to us, yet standing pretty still, and they were saying things like, "That ain't real." "Naw, that's a fake hippo." This went on for about five minutes, while a bunch of actual smart people (us, and a few other St. Louisans) stifled our laughter, waiting for the moment they left. It was worth it. Plus, the hippo yawned and it drooled all over the place. Epic win.

For lunch, we went to Steak n' Shake, another Midwestern stapel that has little to no vegetarian options on the menu; sometimes it's really hard to be a vegetarian in that place, as traveling further south later in our journeys told us. Anywho, I enjoyed it, eating another burger on the Burger Journey, and we went home, only to rest, relax, and find our strength to visit Grandma Scheppner.

She's not a bad person, not anymore. She's mellowed out a lot, and Monica certainly wins Best Girlfriend for actually making me go; I totally would have skipped it had it been left to my discresion. But no, it was an okay visit, mostly because of the Monica Buffer that comes from family members actually being nicer to people OUTSIDE your family than people in it; I'll never understand that odd happenstance. Afterwards, we went on a quest to find Burger Bar.

One jaunt through East St Louis Later, realizing that YES we should have turned off the highway when it said Downtown, and not continued on it when it said Illinois, we found our way to Laclede's Landing, and Lumiere Place, a pretty fantastic casino on the waterfront there, and within, our dinner, continuing and fulfilling the Burger Journey. It's worth it though, and gotta give some props to my hometown, there's only two Burger Bars, one in Vegas, and one in St. Louis. Dunno how that happened, but good for you STL! Also, tons of casnios. Never realized how many of them popped up over the years.

The night is over, and we returned to our air matress full of turkey burgers, weird toppings, and delicious sweet potato fries. Our journey would continue early the next day, picking up our rental car and heading down to Memphis.

Back

Tried to update blogger stuff during my St. Louis/Memphis trip, but that never happened. As can be seen.

The flight out was pretty okay, and the first night we came home, and after a slightly awkward hello with my dad (always slightly awkward..I don't think it'll ever be as cool as it was when I was a little kid) and saw Laurie later briefly... and that was the trip, when it came to the house. While dad was incredibly awesome and let me use the car for the entire trip, he and Laurie were largely nonexistent as usual. That didn't stop us from having a fun time by first going to Blueberry Hill in the Loop, sadly after much of the Loop was closed, so we couldn't head out to the rest of the strip and see the shops, particularly the comic shop and the vintage clothing place.

Blueberry Hill was the first of my Many Burgered Trip. It was a small, yet fantastic burger. Monica had something delicious, but for the most part, to be honest I was too focused on my burger.

I guess Wednesday will be posted later, as I'm having a love affair with these Cheeze-its.

Dyers fried burgers!

Beale street

Suprisingly tired post.

Day before the day to the trip to St. Louis with love. I'm looking forward to it, and am having an evening to myself; Monica and I are going to be spending entire days together, and I think having a little bit of time to myself is a good thing, especially because I'm tired enough to fall asleep now... which is something that might happen right now.

So... yes.

Been learning my lines for Wildcat, working on them is fun, but I also found the card to the show; obviously I'm not on it... no photoshoot thing... but its' just... you know... I'm the motherfucking villain. DAMMIT.

Anyway. Going to sleep.

Some thoughts.

Monica's checking out some youth bands that have submitted to be in the contest for the exhibit. It's pretty awesome, and these little fuckers are amazingly talented. There's always time to start for me! I could learn how to play something different!

10 jobs applied for today, by the way, in addition to recontacting my temp agencies telling them that I'm still alive and would in fact like some job at some point in time, even if it's something shitty that I complained about every day in my life back when I had an office job. When it really comes down to it however, it's what we do in this stupid country, soulless jobs until we die. I guess some people do it for their children; gives them something to live for. If I don't ever have children, what will I be doing it for?

Myself, obviously. I want tons of exploration throughout the world!

Fuck kids.

But these youth groups are awesome!

Nobilis

Thinking about developing a Nobilis campaign. I don't know if it'll work out, but I'm going to see if I can come up with anything. Coming up with a campaign of course, is easier than finding players.

You all know Nobilis, right? I used to have the book, but can't find it; I think it's in St. Louis... in any case I'm downloading the book, so that if I do end up with some players, I can give them the copy that fell off the back of a truck.

Anywho, Nobilis is where you (the player) plays a specific aspect of reality. Like the Power of Shadows or the Power of Doubt. It's a surprisingly wonderful idea, game, and system. And I think I'd start them out as normal humans, and seeing how they evolve into their Powers. Different playstyles might be awesome. I'll start outlining something down tonight maybe.

Yay TV

BREAKING BAD IS BACK ON!

YES!

Totally didn't know this show was back after a year hiatus. And boy oh boy is this show going some weird and ugly places. It's a good thing I'm not involved in meth. Good old drug dealing isn't going to someplace nice. Never for me, especially after this show! Good old tv telling me what to do as it always does.

Exciting news update: I think I'm going to get my laundry done today. Way overdue... something like a month and a half. Of course, it may not happen today; I may just clean myself instead, in preparation for the Grand Tuttimelon Experience this evening. At least, I hope it's going to happen tonight. Fo sho.

Ever heard of burpees? Found it out today, and it rang a bell that I've read before. Anyway, if Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs) likes it, maybe I should give it a try.



Okay, after trying, I'm about to kill myself. With AWESOMENESS. It may be in addition to what I'm doing (or not doing... hehe procrastination!) every day! Of course, I still kinda want to kill myself afterwords.... but good things happen to those who kick their asses with exercise.

Monica's a sicky poo tonight, so I'm spending some time with her to make things better in the sicky poo realm.

Also, I beat A Vampyre Story, and it was buggy yet entertaining. We'll see if chapter 2 has SecureROM.

Not Even In School and I Procrastinate

Instead of exercising, I'm now writing here online with nothing to say.

Oh wait!

Nope, nothing to say. So more procrastination. Um. It's hot here, and I'm breaking out my pants that look kinda like pajama pants but aren't really and they're simply pants that are on the thinner side, which also breathe well.

Also, crocs will probably be worn today.

So. There you go. Exciting life!

OH! We're going to Tuttimelon tonight, and I will be a happy camper when it comes to our nightly something that's become a habit apparently because we go to Tuttimelon all the time. A tremendously wonderful thing, and a thing that really isn't exciting.

I wish I wanted to exercise when I was bored rather than writing meaningless thing online.

Now, to download the new Decemberists album.

Tardis

My TARDIS fell apart this morning. It's a tragedy really, but it's probably time for me to start growing a new one. Another 900 years I'd be ready to carve the interior. I'm thinking this should have been a tweet; there's nothing else I have to say.

It's been pretty hot here in norcal. Box fan = awesome, yet air conditioners are nonexistent in this world oddly enough. There's something good about the Midwest right there... but there's something to think about when it comes to the fact that if AC hadn't been invented, the south would never have risen in power. So, in a way, AC needs to be taken away. Then people will be too warm to do anything. Like me, just sitting here, in the heat.

Thank the sweet holy hotness though, because I actually got some real meaty work done today. Plenty of stuff done working with getting a boring old person Roth IRA online. Made me bored doing it, typing it, thinking about what I should do, and eating my plaintain burrito after I was done transfering it.

End boring post.

It's Just Me

Had an amazing audition today. Didn't get it. At least they were quick about it. It was a positive rejection though; they said they may use me for future episodes... it's just that I don't LOOK like the guy I'd be portraying. Hell, it's their money, they can do whatever they want, but if I were doing something like this, I figure that they'd want someone who was a good actor, and who could pull off a look and mannerism of the guy; that's really what makes a person similar to another one, not how they look (although that certainly helps), but how they act. But, as I said, it's their money.

Only one more show of LEAD. This is not an advertisement. I'm done with the show; can't wait for it to be over. Aaaand cast party tomorrow! Yipee! Also zoo tomorrow maybe! Yay!

Time for bed.

Still Awake

Lately, I haven't been able to sleep. There was a period where I was doing pretty well, being active during the day, and fucking around in the evening, making me tired enough to sleep. Following this pattern, today to the letter, and I'm still wide awake, just my body is exhausted.

So that means I'm stuck with Dimitri Martin. Now, anyone who's accomplished like that deserves some credit, but he just isn't that funny. There is a certain way to how he delivers his lines that hints at a joke, as if he's telling the audience to laugh, not that his joke or observation is actually funny. OH MAN BUT HE CAN DRAW WITH TWO HANDS THAT'S AMAZING.

Oooh, South Park's on.

Luckily, it keeps me from watching, and I get to write instead. Fun. Except in my tiredness, there's nothing coming from my brain that seems interesting, and instead I blog here, about random things going on in my brain right now. Not productive, just a journal of things. Which is a good thing in itself, but I've been trying to write 5 pages a day of something. It's been going well, until today, and my brain seems to be traveling through a fog. Hence the extra commas in my writing, I suppose.

Been trying to get A Vampyre Story loaded on my laptop, and the... copy that fell off a truck hasn't been working, some securom issue, and the online help hasn't been any help. Looks like it's down to my own troubleshooting for now, and if that doesn't work, then there's always getting a copy that's actually on a DVD. BORING writing.

Lied down for 15 minutes there, closed my eyes, meditated, done all the hippie shit you're supposed to do when relaxing your body to go to sleep; nothing. What do I need to do to sleep? I sure as fuck don't want to get dependent on pills to fall asleep - don't get me wrong, I'm a full supporter of medication, but I don't want to have to take medication to fall asleep; one of the innate things we as humans are supposed to be able to do well (along with shitting).

Dungeooonsss!

Really getting into the swing of things in my D&D game. More roleplaying = more fun. Roleplaying is my favorite thing in these games. My gnome is plucky, yet with a little dark side when it comes to his Warlock nature, as all Warlocks do. And the whole time, it's on his mind, the whole time with his powers, he never knows when the stars will take them away, and he'll be left with nothing. It's pretty neat.

Plus, the action in 4e is fun and interesting, and the skill challenges really make the game shine. Good work, wizards.

Why Would People Want to Read My Ramblings, Anyway?

Been watching the Office. And I'm happy that I made the leap to see the show. Much like the majority of people who watch the Office, I find the unfathomable uncomfortableness hilarious and wonderful. Of course, it makes me almost as uncomfortable, since I'm not an idiot like the majority of main characters in this cast.

It's amazing. And it really is, when people say "this is JUST like real offices! OH MAN!" Usually, snide comments are my response to that statement, but goddamn, it really is. I miss those days of not having to do anything for money. I mean, I worked my ass off, didn't I?! YES. There's been a lack of ass working in my life lately. Woah, I mean. Uh.

It also is a little awkward to watch this unimportance after seeing something like the end of BSG. Makes me want to go on an epic adventure and command a Battlestar. And then retire for a cushy civilian job.

And this one I just wrote! Yay laptop!

Woo hoo to actually writing something.

My battery problem was just that. Luckily, my 9 cell works fine, and has a huge charge... so benefits for all. It's huge though, but that's okay with me, I'll survive somehow. I just was planning on using the 3 cell on normal use, and then switching to 9 on long plane rides or car trips; it's annoying that it's not working and that customer service is being poopy. Maybe if I bitch enough they'll send me a new one, as I really can't send the computer back.. the whole voided warranty thing.

Still have this nagging feeling that this battery will tank on me too, but I'm going to stop thinking that way... until it happens of course, and if it does... well there you go.

I'm just lucky that it wasn't a battery connection problem; then I'd only be able to use my laptop on AC power. THAT being said, it wouldn't be a terrible thing, as we're mostly all wired in this day and age. So looking on the bright side; this is still a great little piece of equipment, and I'm continuing to believe it was a good decision.

So there.

Watching the movie, Battlestar Galactica: Razor, a thing back from season 3. I want to try and extend my battlestar want for more with this, I guess. The last episode (ever) is tonight, and until that spinoff comes around (next year sometime), I and all my geek family will be sadly BSGless.

Last night the stage manager from the play at the Exit (our next door neighbor theatre) came up to me, and we had some words to say to each other.

"It was really loud tonight coming out of the theatre. Audience members turned and looked to the hallway."

I didn't say -If your actors were doing their job, some sound from the outside wouldn't pull their attention.-

I said, "I make an announcement, but there's really nothing I can do."

"I may have to call someone and require someone to be out here saying, 'be quiet, move along, be quiet, move along." She did this accompanied with a finger to the lips, and a point down the hall.

"Yep, that'd be nice."

"Well, I like a compromise, maybe we can come to a happy medium."

"Thanks."

"I'm Amy." Extended her hand.

"Ben."

"Good to meet you."

"Yep."

She left, and I closed the door a little louder than I needed to, considering there's a show next door.

It's hard to put it into text, but her smug little attitude and her bitchy "rightness"; well, that's the reason I want to be a stage manager, to stop the shit that these power hungry self rightious stupid people.

Anywho. Battery's working well. Yay.

More more more

From yesterday March 19.

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Trying out just typing in Notepad. After all, that's what journals and shit are for, right, normal stuff, not like I'm writing a paper or something.

Back to the show. I've been having some good times this week, and some depressing times. A lot of my depression still comes from my lack of work, but it seems like there's also an added tinge of empathy for some of my friends who've either lost a job or hate their job or are sick... and even some empathy for people walking down the street; there's been so many people this past week sobbing, bawling their heads off, just walking down the street. I don't know what to do in these situations. Of course, do nothing is the standard, but I just want to stop and comfort. It's an odd place to be, honestly. Very odd. But I really do just want to hug and hug and hug.

One funny thing that's been going on between Monica and I is our dual laptop fun during the evenings. It's so odd how BIG her laptop is compared to mine, and yet I feel no envy! This little fucker is one of the coolest things I've ever bought, and I think my experiences with my iPhone have made me happy with compact media centers and gaming devices.. and this is a wonderful piece of machinery! Lotro looked beautiful on it just last night, and I was successful in killing shit! Yeah!

Finally getting around to checking out the Player's Handbook 2. Looks like it's including everything I missed from PH1: gnomes, druids, mostly, and they've added an acceptable amount of cool shit to the rest of the build. It looks like 4e's shaping up to be something pretty wonderful. (Skill challenges, yay!)

Applied for something today that would have me camping out in the wilderness 2 days out of every week. Pays well too, but I'd dig the camping out. I like nature. They might need someone like me, a leader, and someone who knows how to present material; any other thing (hiking, nature, how to make a fire) I can be taught or figure out on my own. Ya gotta be quick with that kind of stuff, and if you're intelligent, it's easy enough to pick up, I'd imagine.

Oooh, really liking this new gnome stuff I can contribute to my next game. MONDAY! I can't wait to get back in the stuff; missed it terribly. I do wish I could find a real, in person, game around here, but for the most part, I'm going to have to contest myself (is that the right phrase) with online adventuring. It's been working fine so far.

Lily is here tonight. we were never really friends, but it's always good to see a HAIR alum out in the wild. Hot boyfriend she has too; they're a little.. non relationshipey though, maybe it's just a friend. He does look a little like he doesn't really like women.... so there you go. She's a good person, just a little odd, but a good person for the most part.

And more

Wow, I talk about the computer a lot, in this from March 14. (Pi day)

---

So (of course) after getting this new computer, and already voiding the warranty with adding additional ram, the battery doesn't seem to work, and will blip off with no warning, no standby or saving. And (of course) when I try and recreate the problem for a techie friend of mine, it doesn't work at all. And by not working, I mean it works completely fine on battery. So my theory will be to charge it up fully tonight, and see what happens. Maybe it's just hungry. Or maybe the battery's shot. Good ting I have a new one. Haha!

Happy Pi Day! It also so happens to coincide with the St. Patrick's Day parade, so I celebrated Pi day by wearing green and watching drunk people walk along the street and make asses of themselves. It was a good day. Then Monica and I went to Olive Garden, to further promote the Irish heritage. One chicken and gnocchi soup later and I was happy. (And poopy, not used to that much fat... well today's my cheat day, so it's all good. ) Wasn't able to have pie on pi day, but it's not over yet, and pie could always happen tomorrow, in observance.

5 minutes to curtain, then an hour and ten minutes later and I'll have one LONG week done, and will be able to get home. Before the show this evening, we removed the first row of seats and a few others off the rest of the rows, which will accomplish two things:
Make the audience not so close to the actors.
Make the audience seem bigger, especially when it's incredibly small.

I want to test out my theory with the computer right now, but I think I should charge the battery completely before fucking around with whether or not it'll be able to last without shutting down. If not... well, it's something to think about for the future. Also, I'll burn a disk image to make sure a catastrophic failure (if any) can be reversed with a simple reinstallation. Simple is subjective, of course, but I'm confident things will work out. I mean, they make these computers working, don't they? For the most part, at least.

Anyway.

I can't wait for the show tonight to be over. Oh em gee. So excited. AND AND AND there will only be 6 more performances left, then a vacation, then on to my next show! THEN A BREAK HOPEFULLY. Jesus, the life of an artist is busy and exhausting. People don't seem to know that most of the time. Some do, most definitely, but most. Feh.

That's right, feh. What the fuck kind of word is that anyway?

So. Show should have started 3 minutes ago, but we're waiting for the AD to come. Yeah. And we have to strike the set tonight, and revive it next Thursday. Shouldn't be too bad, just annoying; the set is full of little knick knacks that are as charming as they are to annoying to deal with.

Now the show starts; I have no idea what I was going to type, as I had to do some actual work this evening. Looking to be a little faster this evening, at least starting out that way. That's good. I'm a fan of fast shows, especially those that need to be completely struck after the evening's done. Okay, slowness starting. Blast. But... comedy? People are laughing? Oh thank god, maybe it'll be infused with some mirth tonight. Please let that be true.

Stressin' about tech tonight. Don't know why, but things seem a little odd around here... guess I'm picking up on someone's stress with my engorged empathy meter. Mmmm engorged. Longest. Scene. Change. Ever.

Ugh. Something's different with the sound button – tonight I really have to jam down the pause and play button for something to register. The woes of a stage manager. Well, if I ran a tighter ship it wouldn't be that bad, but I've been lacking on that front. I think it's my extreme lack of any want to worry about this show; it's not furthering my career, it has horrible money, and no equity points. I have to try and focus on my goals right now, mostly only accepting the shows that will help me get into the union. Thanks 42nd Street Moon! You rock! And you're helping me become awesome actor that I want to be, that I really am, but who is hampered by the union structure in this country.

Unions are important, certainly, but there's something broken about a union that won't let a person who is WILLING TO PAY MONEY RIGHT NOW to get in, rather than go through some odd points system on the whim of idiots giving me parts in an equity theatre. Ugh! It's frustrating, but the only way to change it is from within, so the first step is definitely getting in the fucking thing and working on making it a better place for all actors.

Wow, sometimes I get preachy when I don't mean to be. Weird. I didn't think I was political or interested in helping other people's lives other than myself and my own friends and loved ones. Probably would be a good politician. I'd probably have to be a lawyer before that. And that means law school, and LSAT. So no. Let's not go into that direction. But maybe. I'm a dork, I'd probably be a good lawyer, and it'd let me push off real world activities for the next 3 years. HA! But isn't that what my potential master's in theatre supposed to be? Yeah. Well, I could always go back to school; I've always thought my entire life would be a learning experience.

Haven't checked my weight in a while, I'm simply hoping I'm below the 260 mark. I've been cheating a lot lately, but have been upping my exercise and walking during the week. And that ain't no easy thing; this show has been draining me of my soul and my energy. Now that it's up.. well, let's just say I'm happy that it's up, and happy to get back to my exercise regime. I long to be a skinny bitch. I am a skinny bitch, I just like to eat too much, I suppose. SKINNY BITCH.

Typing that in all caps reminds me that I haven't posted on 12 seconds for a while. Well, next time I have wireless I'll post from here, and post from my home computer. I love that site; just been so fucking busy with life and such that there's been a tremendous lack of computer time, both professional and gaming. Still, more applying for jobs than Fallout 3 lately (a good thing, theoretically), but of course I want to play more games. Let's hope I can actually get a job in gaming someday. Or running a comic book shop. Wouldn't that be cool? An expansive retail comic shop with all sorts of trade paperbacks, tons of monthlies, and a lot of grab bags of comics that people can buy. I'd be a good comic book shop guy. Sigh. Maybe after I'm an Important Actor and have tons of money, that'll be my pet project.

Or maybe it'll be my project now. Maybe I'll find people who want to do this with me. Who knows. This may happen. Ha, maybe it'll happen in St. Louis. Cheaper rent there. But... it would be nice to have one in Fairfax. They don't have a comic shop, and I'm sure there's a nerd community there that can be tapped.

Wow, I could use a drink tonight. Something about the stress of the show, the stress of the laptop, and the oddness that is my engorged empathy meter just makes me want to not feel as much. Then again, I'd like to just go home and see Monica. I miss her so much lately. Even through the bad shit that we have, and all relationships do, through it all I know that there's so much love we have for each other. And as if on cue, she sends me a text proclaiming the fact. This girl of mine, is awesome. Totally cool, and soon we'll feel good about our bodies and our weight. Maybe even have some toned awesome look for swimming.

Almost charged! Yay. And I've been using the computer this entire time. It MUST be the battery. Boo, but it's still an extremely portable computer, and everywhere has a plug now a days. If not, it's not worth me coming in, or not worth cracking out the computer, and instead maybe reading a book, perhaps? Getting off the computer maybe? It'd be good sometimes.

Another old one

And this is from March 12. It's weird seeing all these older ones and rereading what's been going on.

---

One of the oddest sensations I've been experiencing lately is the one where you're washing your hands, and during the lather process, the drops of suds and water that fall into the sink are brown or black. I then think back, wondering if I put my hand in shit or in black tar, and can't think of anything, eventually coming to the realization that my everyday life is full of gross. Needless to say I've been washing my hands with much more frequency than before.

The show is up! Our tech weekend, as always, was full of horror and not very much fun, but the people I'm working with are extraordinary, and everything came together in the end, especially on the tech side of things; thank gods for Will. He's an official technician, and rocks out frequently with all of his technical knowhow. So yes, that was... just a few days ago actually. Seems so long ago. 8, 9, 10 hour days do that to you, and now we're on the second performance. There was a cast party last night. I didn't stay very long.

It's not that I don't like cast parties really, it's just that these weren't really actor people; it was mostly Dot's family and Meg's friends, no one really who would help me gain a tier in the theatre world, as I found out after talking to some of the people that evening. Free wine though, and some pretty kickass appetizers. When I'm rich, definitely going back there.

Through the magic of the paragraph break, I've been gone for 5 minutes telling the actors to check their props, and updating them on how long we have before the show starts. The amazingly funny thing is that we did have 3 people in the audience, and now we have 2. Not quite sure how that happened, but it's always pretty hard getting people to come to a brand new play at a new theatre. That's what's hard about new theatre: if you're established, you have the opportunity to take more risks with what you want to do (not that any of them really do) and if you are just getting started, and really want to push the boundaries of theatre, your risks are never praised like they should be... no crowds, no attention. Let's hope the new company will work, since it's dinner and a show as well.

My plan is to set these on blogger at some point, but I'm not sure if that'll happen. Until then, openoffice will be my friend. Funny that, openoffice doesn't recognize openoffice as correctly spelled.... OH! They recommend OpenOffice. No squiggles under there.

My days are repetitive and depressing. Devotees will recall that I've been unemployed since last July, and have had middling success with finding a new job. It, of course, doesn't help that my application for Starbucks is sitting on my dresser, signed and ready to be brought to the store, but for some reason I just don't want to go back there; I don't want to be held down by that place like it used to. Now Peet's... that's a different story!

The Scoop is hiring... maybe I'll head that direction.

Almost time to start the show... I'll try and update during... give me something to do.

Wow, an ellipses fan lately, I suppose.

Whilst eating at Punjab today (my new favorite Tenderloin restaurant), Treacy came in, crying. Her husband, Locky wants to divorce her, and through the course of the meal, I found out that he had been belittling her, calling her names, telling her she doesn't do anything for the family, for YEARS. Mom and I talked to her a bit, telling her that it's a good thing that this relationship is ending; he's an asshole. Who knows if it'll happen, but she shouldnt' live like this. I wish it hadn't come to this. I mean, fuck, they have a kid. A beautiful, wonderful 4 year old girl.

Lots of pee smells walking to the theatre today. Oop! Show's on!

Well, almost. Dot has to run to the bathroom. And then check to see if there are any more people.

There's 5 people in the audience now. This one's for them.

Wow, this one's for them, but they don't seem to know it is. Crickets would make more noise than these guys. Fuck, sloths would make more noise. And they're pretty quiet! You heard me! Some animal that's really quiet would be louder than this audience!

I'm implying that the audience isn't very responsive. Did you get that?

Oh, you did?

Well. Ha on me.

I was playing a little Fallout 3 today, and for some reason the charm of the game has been lost on me since I took a break from gaming for a while. It might be the oddness of the gameplay since I've “upgraded” to XP from Vista, and since that copy wasn't my original XP... well maybe something's cracked in this version, I don't know... but it's just slower. It could also be my hard drive is simply older? I mean, I bought my machine in late 06; computers do have a low shelf life. Well, no matter, I don't have enough money to buy a new machine at this point in my life anyway, let alone for gaming... so there you have it. THAT is precisely why I've been entering online sweepstakes, about 10 a day. According to the law of averages, sooner or later I'm bound to get one. Which is why all of the ones I enter have a computer as a prize. Here's to hoping! I'm such a geek. Maybe I should have stuck with my computer science degree. Bleh; makes me shudder just thinking of it, actually. Maybe just a little bit of computer savviness with some classes might scratch my itch...

I'm slowly becoming aware that I haven't washed these jeans in a long time. Yeah, thinking about that makes me really gross. I'm just happy I have spare clothes... especially after walking by homeless people every day walking to the theatre. I have the luxury of knowing my jeans are a little ripe and can make plans to throw them in the wash as soon as I get home. They, however, have to stay in smelly jeans all the time. I finally bended and gave some change to a guy on the street, in a wheelchair. Then I felt sad because I couldn't give give change to everyone, ESPECIALLY now when I have no money.

It only took me 75 cents to stop giving homeless people money again. I wish there was something I could do, but hell, I don't have much myself.

Says the man with the laptop.

Hypocrite alert! Yep, that's me. The guy who's entering sweepstakes longing for something better, newer, than what I have. I wish there was something better about me in that respect. My dime store psychology is that it stems from not growing up with much, and then having a job, with disposable income, then not having a job, and my increasing depression and inability to provide. Wow, that actually sounded pretty intelligent.

Woah. My computer just blipped out, and wouldnt' start without crashing... plugged it in, now is working. Maybe the battery monitor wasn't right. Or maybe the battery it came with is busted. Man, that would suck. Or maybe it just overheated. Huh. Well. No matter, it's working now, and charging... saying it has 41% and charging. That's odd, it should have lasted longer. Must be the battery. Fuck. That's why we have spares, folks. And that's why we need to save after every sentence. Going to shut down now and charge the rest...